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Years and years ago, whilst driving down a narrow country lane around 3AM on the borders of Wiltshire/Berkshire I came around a corner to be confronted with a herd of Frisians. After getting out of the car and negotiating with the ladies I was able to get past and stopped in the first village I came to with a telephone box.
I dialled 999, asked for 'police' and got a sleepy-voiced gentleman with a broad Wiltshire accent: 'How can I help you?'
I gave the location 'there's a herd of cows blocking the lane';
'Did you hit an animal?'
'No, but someone might if they are not moved';
'Are they black cows, white cows or what colour?'
'They're Frisians',
'What colour are Frisians?'
'Black and White',
'Do you know who owns the cattle?';
'No, I don't live around here';
'May I ask why you were driving down that road if you don't live in the area?'
'It's a shortcut from the A420 to the A4, can you do something about the cattle before someone runs into them?'
'This doesn't seem to be an emergency, may I ask why you dialled 999?'
At that point I gave up. I just hope the farmer went out early for milking and rounded his cows up safely.
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