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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #2576  
Old 30th March 2018, 07:33
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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I feel the initiative is drifting away from me on this one. Far too many blabbermouths and busybuddies on this boat. If I cannot drift away and meet an oul shipmate to discuss the merits of two peripheral European languages under a beach towel, as consenting adults, I may as well stay on board. To improve my temper I will hose out the sewage tank with the help of Ratty and Mr Toad. The fragrant Red 17 will spend her spare time suturing up some of Dartskippers orifices.
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  #2577  
Old 30th March 2018, 08:49
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Oh. go careful with Dartskipper or the Terrible Torbay Terminators will be after you.....LOL
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  #2578  
Old 30th March 2018, 11:52
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A bit further along theres a private beach we can use. We can swim without the restriction of swim suits, the wonderful fresh air feeling. cant beat it.
Or briefs,........just saying..
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  #2579  
Old 30th March 2018, 21:22
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Oh. go careful with Dartskipper or the Terrible Torbay Terminators will be after you.....LOL
Would that be the Kimble brothers?

One of them was barred from all the pubs in Brixham, so one night having been thrown out of the last one, he went back on board his trawler, and motored across Torbay to Torquay and commenced drinking in the pubs there. Unfortunately, he took the two other small inshore trawlers that had moored alongside his boat with him. He was found fast asleep in his wheelhouse the next morning.
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  #2580  
Old 30th March 2018, 23:55
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Would that be the Kimble brothers?

One of them was barred from all the pubs in Brixham, so one night having been thrown out of the last one, he went back on board his trawler, and motored across Torbay to Torquay and commenced drinking in the pubs there. Unfortunately, he took the two other small inshore trawlers that had moored alongside his boat with him. He was found fast asleep in his wheelhouse the next morning.

Oh, I had'nt heard about that one ha ha
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  #2581  
Old 31st March 2018, 00:27
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I feel the initiative is drifting away from me on this one. Far too many blabbermouths and busybuddies on this boat. If I cannot drift away and meet an oul shipmate to discuss the merits of two peripheral European languages under a beach towel, as consenting adults, I may as well stay on board. To improve my temper I will hose out the sewage tank with the help of Ratty and Mr Toad. The fragrant Red 17 will spend her spare time suturing up some of Dartskippers orifices.
What a pity ES as I feel sure the conversation would have been very enjoyable. However. I should say that any conversation would have taken place on TOP of the Towel, not UNDER it.

Mind how you go with Ratty and Mr Toad, one of them bites. Hmm, must stock up on some rabies vaccine.
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  #2582  
Old 31st March 2018, 08:52
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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What a pity ES as I feel sure the conversation would have been very enjoyable. However. I should say that any conversation would have taken place on TOP of the Towel, not UNDER it.

Mind how you go with Ratty and Mr Toad, one of them bites. Hmm, must stock up on some rabies vaccine.
Of course on top of the towel, we're not a bunch of Hottentots. The use of the word under is purely a figure of speech and open to misinterpretation by small minded individuals.
We never worry about rabies on our driftings around the great oceans and coasts of our world, having eaten McCloggies cooking we are immune from rabies, conjunctivitis and constipation. A vaccine for the trotts would be of benifit, Tmac is a martyr to it.
Must go for my 7 bells brekky and relieve the long suffering Mr T.
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  #2583  
Old 31st March 2018, 11:02
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Cooking? MY cooking?

I have never cooked for anyone on the GD - as far as I know. To be honest I do not even know where the galley is! All I can say is that the standard of catering onboard is to a 3* rating even if the language from the catering areas makes me wonder if we have Gordon Ramsey onboard.

Any late night cabin snacks I may have prepared seem to have gone down well and the recipients have never bothered the sick bay!!

My private cooking tends to have an Asian theme (having a Vietnamese missus) and wth Pho, Malaysian Randang and Nasi Lemak constipation is certainly not a problem!!!

McC
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  #2584  
Old 1st April 2018, 12:18
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speaking of which...I will be in my office for a while I need to get the books right and salarys paid into crews bank accounts.
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  #2585  
Old 1st April 2018, 12:31
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Your Asian themed dishes are no problem, stew with a ladle full of curry powder and Bobs your uncle. Its your blind scouse, mince & tatties, jellied eels, fishies in little dishies and cornish nasties that are slowly poisoning the crew. Billyboy has come out in scabs and Red 17 is only firing on 14. A bit of Gordon Blue is needed.
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  #2586  
Old 1st April 2018, 13:52
McCloggie Malaysia McCloggie is offline
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Why on earth do you think I have anything to do with the catering on this vessel?

I have been instructed that my role here is as Master at Arms in charge of the Cut-outs, Security, deck crew etc. I would not know where to start in the galley anyway - and do not want anything to do with it! It seems to run perfectly well by itself and there have been no problems up to now - even on the medical front.

So, please be aware that I have had NOTHING to do with scouse, mince & tatties, jellied eels, fishies in little dishies and Cornish nasties that people may have eaten.

On this quick voyage (as I have been busy with my duties including the paperwork for "losing" a New York taxi) I have been looking after myself on fast cabin food including instant Me Thom, Pho, and Chalem (provided in advance by the missus!).

I really must reiterate that I have nothing to do with the catering on this vessel - and half the dishes you mention I would not know how to cook anyway as I do not know what they are in the first place!

McC

Last edited by McCloggie; 1st April 2018 at 13:57.
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  #2587  
Old 1st April 2018, 16:19
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One of my hats is that of Chief Stewart.

We have been eating our way through a supply of these, carefully seasoned and lovingly prepared by our Plaggy Stewarts and served with a devil may care flick of the wrist.

Anyone who does not like the food has only to describe accurately what it is supposed to be and my team will prepare a special meal for them, once tasted you will never want anything else.
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  #2588  
Old 1st April 2018, 16:21
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My proud boast . never lost a crew member to food poisoning.
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  #2589  
Old 1st April 2018, 18:14
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My proud boast . never lost a crew member to food poisoning.
maybe, but your drinks sure leave a lot to be desired... for instance tea so strong you can stand a spoon upright in it.
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  #2590  
Old 1st April 2018, 18:19
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I really must reiterate that I have nothing to do with the catering on this vessel

McC
I agree 100%, I would have absolutely nothing to do with it either, I bring sandwiches from home that my Mummy makes me. I also have a tame bear in the control room who keeps me supplied with Marmalade sandwiches even if they are a bit furry round the edges.
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  #2591  
Old 1st April 2018, 20:27
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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A bear, a rat, a toad, a mouse to trot on Farmers "Rosy Lee" and a badger in the control room, any more and you can get David Atenborough to blow tubes.
We didn't loose a taxi, New York lost a taxi. We have a big yellow car in the Bosuns store, currently being painted with green anti-fouling. It can be used to take Mr mcCloggie up to the shops for rations and in the evenings, well...........
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  #2592  
Old 1st April 2018, 21:57
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If the meter still works we can use it to raise extra funds to finance runs ashore as well as going for victuals. The locals won't recognise it as a vehicle of New York origin, and would only be happy to be driven around the local points of interest or back to their residences. If anyone asks for the Police Station, we don't take them.
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  #2593  
Old 2nd April 2018, 22:55
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Have no fears Dartskipper. Its now roofless with white sheepskin seat covers fitted and resprayed in a Gold colour.
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  #2594  
Old 3rd April 2018, 07:36
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Re Catering on the GD

I am not sure to whom I should direct this enquiry but, hopefully, I will receive a sensible answer.

Question 1. Who is responsible for managing catering on our beloved ship
2. How long has it been since the galley was given a really good clean
3. When was the present equipment installed in the galley

I have had a good look around the galley and I hate to say it Sir William, it is a f@*##* disgrace. Sorry about the language gentleman, not really my style, Gordon would have used a few more expletives. The Pax bar and lounge seem to get all the attention and are kept in a beautiful condition. However the galley and dining room are just tragic.

I am happy to show you evidence of my concerns if you would like to set a time to do so. No wonder Tmac brings sandwiches from home made by his Mommy.

Sadly if I have just one more report of food poisoning from the crew I will be compelled, under law, to call in the Public Health inspectors.
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  #2595  
Old 3rd April 2018, 10:13
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Originally Posted by Red-17 View Post
I am not sure to whom I should direct this enquiry but, hopefully, I will receive a sensible answer.

Question 1. Who is responsible for managing catering on our beloved ship
2. How long has it been since the galley was given a really good clean
3. When was the present equipment installed in the galley

.

Sadly if I have just one more report of food poisoning from the crew I will be compelled, under law, to call in the Public Health inspectors.
1.Of late I have done some of the cooking. As I have always been completely irresponsible, i am not responsible, I just get hungry sometimes.
2.We all lick our own plates (and glad to do so).
3.A frying pan does not need installing.

We do, from time to time, make a real effort and produce excellent food as perusal of our archives will show. Coastie was a master with the Breville and his anchovies with anchovies on anchovy toast was masterly. Some felt it lacked a little salt, they were allowed extra anchovies.

Public Health Inspectors will be Shanghaied and sold to the next Windjammer with a Bucko mate, equipped with a Pac-a-mac and some slippers for foul weather gear and end up furling the Moonsail whilst rounding the Horn.
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  #2596  
Old 3rd April 2018, 11:36
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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I sometimes turn my hand to a pot of champ for Tmac and myself but I'll be damned if we're sharing with mainlanders or colonials.
If anyone on my ship contacts Port Health they will be blackballed or thrown in the Brig. Master at Arms where the hell are you!!!
Girly touches are fine in a Magnet or B&Q kitchen but not in my Galley, next thing we will have fluffy covers on the Hobart Mixer, kings-Pattern serving spoons and spotless tea towels. How in the name of god will we build up an immunity to malaria with all this forced hygiene.
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  #2597  
Old 3rd April 2018, 23:03
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H'mm, sounds like there will be the lights of small cooking fires all round the deck soon.
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  #2598  
Old 4th April 2018, 02:33
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H'mm, sounds like there will be the lights of small cooking fires all round the deck soon.
Isn't it odd that Sir William has not replied, he must be worried about the cost. There is no need to have small cooking fires on the deck as there is a perfectly good gas barbecue in the park and garden area adjacent to the menagerie. NO, you cannot help yourself to lamb.
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  #2599  
Old 4th April 2018, 04:31
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Relax gentleman, site was closed for a while.

We have had some good cooks with great recipes in the past. I will advertise for a chef and see what i can get for us. If any member has a wife who can cook she will be welcome to join us. (at the risk of finding out about said members past...lol)
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  #2600  
Old 4th April 2018, 04:46
McCloggie Malaysia McCloggie is offline
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I can probably arrange for a few Vietnamese "little helpers" of the female variety if that would help.

McC
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