virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

(Tmac, if you are listening, it may well be that Red will load her next dart coated with Curare, in sufficient quantity to put even you asleep.

Tom lad, NO dart or other pointed missile yet exists that would have the capability to penetrate my thick hide.

[McCloggie]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

I certainly can assure you that all the proprieties were ahdered to: - Before your private bits were exposed, Red was blindfolded, spun around three times, and told you were directly in front of her. She actually used her Amazonian blow dart device to inject the necessary. (Tmac, if you are listening, it may well be that Red will load her next dart coated with Curare, in sufficient quantity to put even you asleep.

Well I am glad that all procedures were correctly followed - but for what? Are you sure this was done in sick bay and not the upper deck?

I thought we were on passage to Poland but this sounds like we are Crossing the Line!

McC

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by McCloggie

Well I am glad that all procedures were correctly followed - but for what? Are you sure this was done in sick bay and not the upper deck?

I thought we were on passage to Poland but this sounds like we are Crossing the Line!

McC

I'm sayin' nothin'.... as usual the CE has no feckin' idea where we are going

[Farmer John]

Well, who would have guessed that our friend Red17 had such hidden depths? Sudden sleep stalks the decks, albeit in the hands of a responsible (hopefully) and compassionate (hopefully) colleague.

How will we discriminate between the sudden collapse following a draught of our favourite tipple and the onset of a medical intervention? Tmac, the concern about losing control of your engines is surely unnecessary, all Injuneers operate the controls in their sleep anyway, witness the high levels of marital breakup after 25 years at sea. Not everyone wants their up and downs adjusted when at rest. Perhaps this is why Tmac is so concerned? He might scrape his bearing shells (or whatever these fellows do for fun) when laid out.

[Tmac1720]

Farmer John, I've heard of sleep walking but this is feckin' ridiculous

You also, dear sir appear to have an in depth knowledge of uz injuneers.... you are not a lapsed Brotherhood of the Spanner member by any chance?

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Red 17, alas young lady while I have absolutely no doubt as regards your medical prowess and your discretion in all matters the unfortunate fact is as Sir William indicates that I am required to be awake 24/7 to maintain the safe and secure operation of the most complex machinery known to man and many other mechanical and electro-mechanical devices beyond the realm of ordinary mortals wot I has invented.

Squeek and Eric provide much needed assistance in this regard. I note your comment that Squeek was a pussycat on this occasion, this is easily explained, he is in love with YOU madam. Alas the lad is unversed in the ways of the world having led a sheltered life, all I ask is you be kind to the lad and while his love be unrequited do not destroy his dreams and break his little heart.

Eric shall attend for his medical just as soon as he finishes his watch. (he eats three a day and is costing me a fortune as he only eats Rolex)

Finally and if it may be of assistance to you, injuneers wot are covered in grease, grime and other diverse substances are fully germ resistant, NO germ, bug, virus or malady would DARE infect such a personage therefore I must respectfully advise you I have absolutely no need of your attention however well intended. In any event being a CE I have private medical arrangements with Nursie, so there na na na naaaaa na.

If you are so insistent that you have no need of a medical I will not argue any further. You will however have to sign a waiver that states you have refused your medical and vaccination. This waiver will be added to your HR record, which I am led to believe already has it's own filing cabinet. As for Squeek I will treat him as I do everyone else. If he continues to be polite and helpful there should be no need for your concern re my treatment of him.

As I am the only nurse on board at this time pray tell, who is Nursie?

Gentleman, those of you who have gone through the rigours of the medical will have a voucher for the bar. These can be redeemed this evening and will be a nice way to celebrate our heading towards Poland. The Stewards have set out a variety of nibbly thingies to enjoy with your drinks. If you do not have a voucher then you will not be able to enter the bar area tonight. I believe that there is only one crew member who does not have a voucher. na na na naaaar na

[Dartskipper]

Can we hurry up and get this trip to Poland turned around PDQ? Poland in January isn't that appealing, no matter what the fiduciary advantages may be. I am in the chartroom looking for the charts for the Caribbean, jut in case Cap'n Tom gets another potentially lucrative communication from our agents, sending us southabout again. Just in case, can Varley please modify Iron Mike so that he takes us towards the Tropics no matter what course is keyed in to the control panel?

[billyboy]

we will, I believe, be in Poland just long enough to take on full bunkers and supplys berfore heading off to warmer climes. Might take on a couple of cases of 100proof polish spirit to mix with the fruit punch whilst entertaining visiting ladies and Pilots aboard.

[Red-17]

Ooooo, The Caribbean, what a great idea Butterfly. I have heard Bermuda is very nice. Has anyone from the GD been to the Caribbean? White sands, beaches, toned bodies, oops, sorry, just day dreaming. Hmmmm?

[Dartskipper]

Yep. Been there, done that.

Tortola, St Croix, (Virgin Islands, unfortunate choice of name.....) Bahamas, Florida, Drake's Passage, Windward Passage, (such evocative names, ahem.....)South Florida, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Dania Beach.

Excellent ice cream parlour in Dania beach.

[billyboy]

Oops!...Speaking of Windward passage....Pharrrrrrrrrrrt!

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Ooooo, The Caribbean, what a great idea Butterfly. I have heard Bermuda is very nice. Has anyone from the GD been to the Caribbean? White sands, beaches, toned bodies, oops, sorry, just day dreaming. Hmmmm?

Oh! Red - your faux pas about Bermuda being in the Caribbean reminds me of when I was there in 1960. I had been paid off from a delivery job, taking the m.v. "Bird of Paradise" from Greenoch to Port au Spain, Trinidad, and on the way, flying to Canada via Barbados, Antigua, Bermuda and New York, when stopped briefly in Bermuda, Paddy the Irish sailor, who had found a source of rum somewhere along the route wanted to purchase a postcard in the airport to send home. The lady there wanted 10 cents U.S. for this, but Paddy, thinking that indeed Bermuda was in the Caribbean tried to pay with 10 cents West Indies Confederacy currency, with which we had been partially paid off. When the lady refused that, Paddy, sensing that Bermuda was under British administration, offered 6 pence Sterling, which was also refused. Paddy indignantly muttered something incomprehensible and made off with the postcard. When the flight was called to continue, as we made our way over the tarmac towards the plane, we were surrounded by airport personnel, security, the pilot and co-pilot of the plane and the lady from the concession. There was a group of us as in addition to Paddy there were several other former crew members making the trip. On being asked who was in charge of the party, they all pointed at me and said "He is!!" (I had been 2nd. mate for the trip.)Fortunately, being a seasoned group of mariners, one of us managed to come up with an American dime, and upon Paddy swearing to not cause any further trouble, we were able to board the flight to continue to what was Idlewild Airport at the time.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Can we hurry up and get this trip to Poland turned around PDQ? Poland in January isn't that appealing, no matter what the fiduciary advantages may be. I am in the chartroom looking for the charts for the Caribbean, jut in case Cap'n Tom gets another potentially lucrative communication from our agents, sending us southabout again. Just in case, can Varley please modify Iron Mike so that he takes us towards the Tropics no matter what course is keyed in to the control panel?

We all like the warm, but from time to time we have to bite the bullet and engage in something lucrative to keep this entity afloat. I don't think there should be any need for any crew to feel the cold, however, as with Tmac keeping the vessel toasty warm, and having cutouts to manage all the outside activities, like mooring, etc., we can stay inside, and I'm sure there will be many Polish girls in Gdansk that will will be willing to come aboard for drinkies, and keep us even warmer.

I am equally sure that Red will be surrounded by enough of us to continue to keep the cold at bay.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Red-17

As I am the only nurse on board at this time pray tell, who is Nursie?

Gentleman, those of you who have gone through the rigours of the medical will have a voucher for the bar.

Awwwwwww and I tried my best to be friends , so be it then, enjoy your sojourn in the bar, freezing cold, no light and the punkah louvres set to hurricane

Ahhhhhh the wonderful and beautiful Nursie, alas my dear lady she was your predecessor and nothing less than an angel of mercy. Her absence on other duties is regrettable however she is forever in the thoughts of this grizzled old injuneer

[McCloggie]

Well I will certainly be trying to use my voucher at the Bar for Drinks and Nibbles.

After the misunderstanding about The BIG RED Button on the bridge, I have think I have reached an understanding with our CE - it involves Bushmills and not annoying him!

If there are problems with having a party in the bar though, candles and DC lights make for an intimate atmosphere and loo paper stuffed up the punkah louvres should mitigate any hurricane force winds.

Heating? I think with some local Polish "friends" we can generate enough heat ourselves!

McC

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Remember Polish spirit not polish spirit.
Let there be no confusion.

[Farmer John]

Brasso is not good for the eyesight.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Oh! Red - your faux pas about Bermuda being in the Caribbean reminds me of when I was there in 1960. I had been paid off from a delivery job, taking the m.v. "Bird of Paradise" from Greenoch to Port au Spain, Trinidad, and on the way, flying to Canada via Barbados, Antigua, Bermuda and New York, when stopped briefly in Bermuda, Paddy the Irish sailor, who had found a source of rum somewhere along the route wanted to purchase a postcard in the airport to send home. The lady there wanted 10 cents U.S. for this, but Paddy, thinking that indeed Bermuda was in the Caribbean tried to pay with 10 cents West Indies Confederacy currency, with which we had been partially paid off. When the lady refused that, Paddy, sensing that Bermuda was under British administration, offered 6 pence Sterling, which was also refused. Paddy indignantly muttered something incomprehensible and made off with the postcard. When the flight was called to continue, as we made our way over the tarmac towards the plane, we were surrounded by airport personnel, security, the pilot and co-pilot of the plane and the lady from the concession. There was a group of us as in addition to Paddy there were several other former crew members making the trip. On being asked who was in charge of the party, they all pointed at me and said "He is!!" (I had been 2nd. mate for the trip.)Fortunately, being a seasoned group of mariners, one of us managed to come up with an American dime, and upon Paddy swearing to not cause any further trouble, we were able to board the flight to continue to what was Idlewild Airport at the time.

So, ummm? It isn't in the Caribbean? Just shows that you really can learn something new everyday. Question. Where did they move it to?

[Red-17]

Isn't Bermuda considered to be a member of the Caribbean Community ? I am more than a little confused this morning, maybe it was the second Cointreau last night that is to blame.

[billyboy]

2nd?....You had 4 while I was watching you. Another 2 and you would have been dancing naked on the lounge table. you were quite jolly in fact. Happy hangover Red

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by billyboy

2nd?....You had 4 while I was watching you. Another 2 and you would have been dancing naked on the lounge table. you were quite jolly in fact. Happy hangover Red

What, exactly, do you mean by 'jolly' billyboy? I have danced on tables before but never naked. Ah! Those were the days, even Tmac would have been impressed.

[billyboy]

you seemed to be so happy and care free RED17. most enjoyable to witness. Naturally beiing gentlemen and you a fine lady we would have discouraged from the naked gyrations. However you mumbled something about being tired and you retired for the remainder of the evening.
Glad you enjoyed your evening though.

[McCloggie]

I must have missed that one as well!!

McC

[Tmac1720]

I certainly did, I wuz down the pit and anyhoo I don't think Red 17 likes me

[Farmer John]

I had to assist my daughter with her visits to marshland to collect samples for her degree studies. Reason? Damage to knee after dancing on (and briefly off) a table.

I am sure she was sober at the time...

My brother still has knee problems after hurdling a traffic barrier whilst under the control of Joshua Tetley (Onetime local brewer).

They both really enjoyed themselves, and still do so.

Dance on, prance on, Red17. We'll catch you.