Shipping History

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-   -   virtual crazy gang, part II (https://www.shippinghistory.com/showthread.php?t=56)

Varley 21st December 2018 00:45

This is too much. Yet a new dance in less time than it takes to change a fuse. Will someone please arrange a Rarotonga expert to show us the moves. Do I need a grass skirt or will Mother's that she used for the Charleston do?

billyboy 21st December 2018 02:17

Oh, go with the Charleston outfit David. I am sure the native girls will be fascinated with it

Varley 21st December 2018 09:23

Appropriate I suppose Sir. W. The last time I danced in that I was doing the 'Black Bottom'.

Steward, bring me another juventutem, this one's split.

Engine Serang 21st December 2018 11:20

V in a tutu, would you be dancing Swan Lake? No, methinks the Nutcracker Sweet.

Tom Alexander 22nd December 2018 08:04

Well, here we are --- Wow! the girls are sure friendly here. And ------ unlike most places, the fellas don't seem to mind too much either. On our way again in the morning -- putting everything on automatic as I suppose there will not be a whole lot of interest in actually manning our posts. :)

billyboy 22nd December 2018 09:58

Wow!...they are beautiful indeed Tom. Think I'll ask one if she would like a drinkie.

Varley 22nd December 2018 12:15

Not a Desmond E-S. More bead curtain and bombazine.

(Erm, Tom. What is it, exactly, that the fellas here do not mind? They seem to have a fairly healthy population, can't all be new blood).

Engine Serang 22nd December 2018 16:54

Have you seen "The Fellas", as Earl Alexander talks about??? They're big tanned brutes covered in tattoo's and looking like bouncers outside a dodgy nightclub in Wolverhampton. Not the sort of chap we want to mix it with, I'm taking a King Dick ashore smuggled down my trousers for a bit of courage.

Jeffers 23rd December 2018 00:55

Seeing as another birthday has passed by, I thought I'd look in and see how the old GD was faring.
Still ploughing the waves I see, might have to spend a bit of time aboard.
Might just dust off the cocktail cabinet, see if there's anything left.....

Varley 23rd December 2018 01:02

Re: contents of cocktail cabinet, Jeffers.

"Hope springs in the human breast.

Man was born to suffer as the sparks fly upwards."

What the hell was that Retsina about old man. You could have poisoned us!

Tom Alexander 23rd December 2018 05:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley (Post 20545)
Re: contents of cocktail cabinet, Jeffers.

"Hope springs in the human breast.

Man was born to suffer as the sparks fly upwards."

What the hell was that Retsina about old man. You could have poisoned us!

I'm just glad that Tmac used the rest of the Ouzo to remove the excess grease off of his reciprocating whatjamacallit!! :egg:

Tom Alexander 23rd December 2018 05:57

Tmac, we are now clear of the harbour, but we do humbly request Warp Drive so we can make our dry dock date in Sydney. Have to hurry as those antipodean heathen are always a day ahead of the civilised world. Black Bush header tank now pressed up for your delectation. :) :)

billyboy 23rd December 2018 08:13

Welcome back aboard Jeffers. Make a list of anything short in your Cocktail Cabinet and give it to FJ he will replenish any shortages.
Bring your Geetar to the Pax lounge later we will have a sing song. You can sing us that one about Nell the Eskimo.

Engine Serang 23rd December 2018 10:03

Nelly the Eskimo packed her trunk
and said goodbye to the circus...……


Perhaps that ought to be Nellie the Inuit, please advise. FJ tells me on the QT that one of the crew did a night class in anthropology in the Tech in Douglas, bingo.

Jeffers 23rd December 2018 10:37

I don't remember having any Retsina in there... I wonder what had gone off???
I'm thinking of re-stocking with a range of Gins and Rums, there are some very nice ones about.
My latest acquisition is Old J Tiki Fire Spiced Rum, very tasty but also 75% alcohol!
Might just have a tasting evening in the forward lounge. Anyone interested?

billyboy 23rd December 2018 12:00

always interested in Tasters Jeffers. In fact I could go for as rater large Manhatton if you can spare the time.

Varley 23rd December 2018 12:04

I prefer Lambs Gravy myself but with that firewater I'd better double check all the Ex d fittings are closed up. Wouldn't want any accidents. Then I'll ask chief of plasticos if tab-nabs are in order.

By the way, if we are going to visit Nellie in the far North I think we need an Inuit in case we need to shoot a Polar Bear. Kindly ensure he or she is eyesight tested. Some of us of ample build and perhaps something of white fur about a fleshy chin go about their duty in a white boiler suit and do not take kindly to being shot at.

Tmac1720 23rd December 2018 17:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander (Post 20547)
Tmac, we are now clear of the harbour, but we do humbly request Warp Drive so we can make our dry dock date in Sydney. :)

While the bribe of a suitable libation is always welcome the Warp Drive is at your disposal, you only had to ask.

I know it is the season of good will to all men (and plastico's) but would the smart arse who placed the fat bearded twat together with his assorted menagerie atop my funnel suite kindly remove same before it is inserted into the culprits orifice.

Injuneers don't "DO" Christmas, suffice to say the decorated Xmas tree duct taped to the bridge front should be sufficient celebrations, crew for the enjoyment off :)

However not being entirely bereft of the seasonal cheer there will be a crew party, free bar and nibbles (that is NOT the ship's cat) for all in my funnel suite. It's the least I could do, and I mean the LEAST in the biblical sense :chuckle:

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year to you all.:king:

billyboy 23rd December 2018 21:50

Thank you Chief! Most kind of you I'm sure. However, Like your good self I also have a cloud over Christmas. Distant relative decided to pop off at 47 years of age. Resulting in a Boxing day funural for us all.
Cheers Tmac. All the best to you Chief!

Tom Alexander 24th December 2018 05:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeffers (Post 20550)
I don't remember having any Retsina in there... I wonder what had gone off???
I'm thinking of re-stocking with a range of Gins and Rums, there are some very nice ones about.
My latest acquisition is Old J Tiki Fire Spiced Rum, very tasty but also 75% alcohol!
Might just have a tasting evening in the forward lounge. Anyone interested?

Don't know about spiced rum. Think I'll stick with my Lambs 151 proof --flavoured with either ice cubes, or Coca cola & lime. (Cuba Libre.) Mind you, I suppose the end result is the same? :pint:

Tom Alexander 24th December 2018 05:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720 (Post 20560)
While the bribe of a suitable libation is always welcome the Warp Drive is at your disposal, you only had to ask.

I know it is the season of good will to all men (and plastico's) but would the smart arse who placed the fat bearded twat together with his assorted menagerie atop my funnel suite kindly remove same before it is inserted into the culprits orifice.

Injuneers don't "DO" Christmas, suffice to say the decorated Xmas tree duct taped to the bridge front should be sufficient celebrations, crew for the enjoyment off :)

However not being entirely bereft of the seasonal cheer there will be a crew party, free bar and nibbles (that is NOT the ship's cat) for all in my funnel suite. It's the least I could do, and I mean the LEAST in the biblical sense :chuckle:

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year to you all.:king:

Thank you Tmac for your confidence. We are now safely ensconced in our dry dock in Sydney with the necessary privacy shrouds covering the top secret underwater appendages and screws (Obviously of Canadian design as they have a square slot - Robertson - in the end)

I will be overjoyed, exuberantly, to join you in your funnel suite -- will bring some smoked B.C. salmon along as my contribution to the "nibbles". :pint: if you please!

Tom Alexander 24th December 2018 05:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varley (Post 20553)
I prefer Lambs Gravy myself but with that firewater I'd better double check all the Ex d fittings are closed up. Wouldn't want any accidents. Then I'll ask chief of plasticos if tab-nabs are in order.

By the way, if we are going to visit Nellie in the far North I think we need an Inuit in case we need to shoot a Polar Bear. Kindly ensure he or she is eyesight tested. Some of us of ample build and perhaps something of white fur about a fleshy chin go about their duty in a white boiler suit and do not take kindly to being shot at.

Nellie the Esquimalt is actually Indian, not Inuit. They even named a City on Vancouver Island after her "Nation". The Government of Nunavut selected the term Inuktut to represent all of the Inuit dialects spoken in Nunavut, including Inuktitut and Inuinnaqtun.

I believe the Inuktitut is the most common dialect so you'd better brush up on that.
(By the way -- Inuit is actually plural -- if you have an "an" that would be the singular "inu" or man.)

Mind you the songs are in English (unless you are "throat singing" ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Yo2YFUxBwo

Tom Alexander 24th December 2018 05:44

After we have celebrated our annual arrival at dry dock, all crew are free to travel afar to visit with their kith and kin, to celebrate this holiday season. Plans for the New Year will commence on January 3rd. (If I remember?)

Best wishes to all the crew for a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year from myself and the admiral. :)

billyboy 24th December 2018 06:32

I will as usual be staying aboard (most of the time) Because I have to pay so muxh to get them to work over Christmas I need to make sure they do it right. My Stewars will be staying aboard also.
Whats that Farmer John
Ah shore cable hooked up eh...jolly good.

Engine room...we haver
shore suply hooked up. You can knock it all off down there.

billyboy 24th December 2018 06:38

https://youtu.be/TVGSiE-A7SQ

For the over eighteens only. Not for our cutouts or plastico's.

Varley 24th December 2018 10:10

If the Chief tries to use that mince pie as a suppository he'd better make sure that is Father Christmas and not me at my aerial weak link. Otherwise you'll see sparks coming from the funnel alright and Chiefy can expect all the gifts of the twelve days stuffed up sidey ways.

Farmer John 24th December 2018 15:13

Oh, Varley, making free with the mince-pies now the cache has been revealed.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-eur...f-man-46638212

"attending a naval radar training school on the island"?

Engine Serang 24th December 2018 16:42

All radar technicians are heading for Gatwick to tune their radars to pick up non existent drones.


Where's the drone
Its behind you
Yes it is
No its not


A Christmas Panto starring Kenneth Williams and Little and Large.

Farmer John 24th December 2018 16:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang (Post 20581)
All radar technicians are heading for Gatwick to tune their radars to pick up non existent drones.

As are many of our finest shots. Cries of "Woodcock over" and a steady rain of shattered blackbirds is to be anticipated. A pack of labradors has been specially convened to retrieve any 'planes downed but not killed.

Engine Serang 24th December 2018 16:58

Rather Wood cock-up. Lord Varley and his Man are in-situ but His Lordship has overindulged in the stirrup cup. Del Boy and Rodney are on the M23 heading for Gatwick. SNAFU

Varley 24th December 2018 17:12

Well we did have a radar establishment here and I used to drink with an old RN 'Teach' who had worked there. He never offered me a mince pie, though. My speedie-mincers look far more appetising.


I am minded of a certain Chief's wife. "You all think the Chief is sober don't you"? (obviously no one said "No, ratarsed you stupid cow") She then proceeded to demonstrate precisely how not sober he was by knocking away the hand that had been clutching the bar to hold himself onto the barstool. The story ends on the deck.

So. You think I have over indulged in stirrup I cup do you? I can stay mounted for much longer than this and it is nothing to do with a wooden anything up anywhere!

billyboy 24th December 2018 22:03

Maybe it was not Drones at Gatwick. Perhaps it was circling Reindeer due to Rudolphs GPS being faulty.
Mince pies? Oh I could die for one (not available here, nor is the mince meat) Just had my early morning coffee to fire up the brain, A nice shower and shave. Ready for the day now. No Santa visit for us out here as we have no chimneys.

Farmer John 24th December 2018 22:39

I have heard of this "Drones" problem, how Bingo Little has become involved with aeroplanes is a complete mystery to me.

Engine Serang 25th December 2018 05:50

The Honourable Frederick Threepwood, over a liquid lunch in the Drones Club, bet him he could not cause a commotion at Gatwick Aerodrome. Bingo wanting to stay on the right side of the ledger took him on and won.


James Bigglesworth was mightily peed-off.

Jeffers 25th December 2018 10:20

Merry Christmas to all and all that stuff....
The bar will be open shortly, we've fully restocked so we should be able to cater for all tastes.
I've even got some Sanatogen for Billy.

Varley 25th December 2018 10:32

Mincemeat is easy enough to make SirW. No excuse.

As it is impossible to buy ingredients in the right quantity for the Christmas cake there is plenty left over. That's what I use to make the mincemeat.

Pastry? Now that would be a problem

billyboy 25th December 2018 11:51

very kind thought Jeffers. Thank you.

Engine Serang 26th December 2018 08:03

As advised I have spent the day with my kith and kin and am now heartily fed up. Pig Sick, in fact. My In-Laws make FJ, BB, Tmac and Mr V look good and that's no mean feat.
Permission to come aboard 6 days early, I'll help plan the fantasmagorical New Years Eve festivities. cheers Shipmates.

Varley 26th December 2018 10:11

As long as you bring a carry-out and some morsels of Turkey to make a sandwich whilst the plasticos are on leave. Perhaps even some cold Irish lamb with which to make curry?

(The original plan for New Year has misfired. Which was to be a murder mystery. I hope to be reminded later what we are going to do. If anything. Those 67 turkey's may have been sufficient for me to take the New Year more quietly!)

billyboy 28th December 2018 22:30

OWNWERS LOG:
Ships under water work completed. Hull painters hard at it. Ship is remarkable quiet with crew ashore on leave.
ES has returned early so I dont have to drink aboard alone. (one must be gratull for small mercy's this time of the year.
Engine room work is also been completed as per Tmacs instructions.
Squirrel and Rat have been well fed and are in fact enjoying Christmas pud in the control room.
Seems like a nice day so we could let them on deck for a Bronzie.
My Stewrd has been a Godsend this year keeping me well fed and of a decent alcohole level.


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