maybe we forgot to allow for the wind..... This family did as the duke dropped a cracker

OK - except when we go into one of those out of the way places when we we dock at dilapidated old wooden piers.

You might be right about the earth's magnetic field, ----- if we stay in Freemantle too long, we might wind up in the Northern Hemisphere without going anywhere. :(:(

Bloody Australia has caused a large degree of torpor amongst the crew, just as I prophesised, no one could be arsed to string a few words into a post. Lets make haste, make steam and get to fcuk out of this cultural hell-hole. As Nelson said to his troops before the battle of Hastings; Man can not live on nostalgia alone. We must learn from his mistakes, Billy Boy.

I am only along for the ride these days ES. Toms the man to see. If you request a destination written on the back od a large banknote I am sure he fit your destination in somehow.

I think you are misunderestimating your influence on this fast and commodious vessel. The engineers cannot order a chateaubriand in the Duty Mess without Mr Mccloggie running it past Capt. Billy. although a bowl of Lobscouse can be gotten without reference to yourself.

ES, we all love... erm... this part of Australia, with it's wonderful... erm... sights and the, the, the wide skies we enjoy so much.

Tom, where are we going next? I feel a deep nostalgia for some of my home ports, Hull, Grimsby and such. A good long sea trip would allow us to fight it out bond with each other. And we could get some good fish and chips.

Speaking as someone with Australian forebears, (a few roos and possums as well,) may I humbly point out that Australia exists only as a breakwater to protect New Zealand from the worst of the Southern Ocean storms. :supercool:

That is why we are regarded as the 'West Island'.

We're in Australia ??? why isn't all the blood running to my head if we are upside down and why does nobody tell me anything?... I'm obviously NOT the Chief Injuneer I am the ships mushroom... fed on bullshit and kept in the dark. :very_sad:

If anybody wants me I'll be in my funnel suite flogging the plastico tiger :balloon:

Be nice to visit Australia Zoo while we are here. be nice to cuddle a Koala. Pay our respects to Steve Irwin.

make abreak I thought. However, Tom's tyhe boss we go wherever he wants to take us unless, someone makes a specific request for an exotic port on a tenner.

Whats that cutout?...Tmac growing mushrooms in the funnel suite?
You should see what he is growing in the Starboard tunnel. But, that is highly classified.

It is the thought that we should stay in Freemantle until the local fathers figure out what kind of influence we are having on their daughters. (Not to mention what kind of influence we are having on their wives come to that. )

So when we have worn out our welcome here, the next port of call is planned to be Darwin.

All I can say, is that if you have a hankering to visit Grimsby in March you must be as mad as a Hatter. We can, however, wend our way slowly in that general direction so a to arrive there at a more salubrious time of year. In the meantime, I am calling a trip planning party on the pool deck effective immediately. The whole idea is to get salubricated as quickly as possible and forget all those grandiose, long term plans for the future (Matthew 6:34) :pint:

Steward! hook up a barel of Guiness to the pool deck Bar will you and send up a case of Four Bells.

Grimsby does salubrious?

(I know one or two that have become overly fond of a pretty plastico but loving one Master or another is something a gentleman should avoid - See Leviticus - a burnt offering is acceptable, perhaps de rigueur, but nothing employing a rumpty pump).

Roo steaks on the Bar-B then

Being upside down should not discommode you as you've always talked out of your bottom. Note: I'm far too well bred to use arse.
Nevertheless you are still the Chief and I have full confidence in your leadership.

You should see a proctologist pronto E-S. Such a disuse, even for the politest of motivations, will lead to you being of full of it.

I am not sure if a burnt offering prepared by the ritual of a barbecue would be 'kosher'. I had imagined that a burnt offering would need to be done thoroughly, not just blackened on the outside with traditional garnish of twigs and ant droppings whilst dripping gore once bitten into. I will write to Mr. Leviticus and ask for clarification.

What the hell has Graham Norton got to do with us being in Australia?

I am not sure, does he make motor bicycles? I imagine they are quite useful down there.

Tom, now you have started me worrying about tomorrow. I wish you would leave that book alone.

Remember the good book says:

1. A point is that of which there is no part.
2. A line is a widthless length.
3. A line's ends are points.
4. A straight line is one which lies evenly with the points on itself.
5. A surface is that which has only length and width.
6. The ends of a surface are lines.
7. A plane surface is one which lies evenly with the lines on it.

and this can be seen to be good.

A bow is directed to Stephen Leacock for this discovery.

maybe something to do with them brown biscuit thingies. Grahams Knackers is it?

If he did it would be quite a matchless enterprise for him -- somewhat of a triumph in fact. :balloon:

Hardly as good as a Harley.

Friday 17.00 GMT
Where's my bloody dinner?
Where's the bloody cook?
No bloody brekky or lunch, the Mary Celest had more life.
Crew! Crew, Crew my arse, bloody piss-up artists collapsed all over the place in varying states of undress. Fortunately not in a carnal way.
As Earl Haig once said, every cloud has a silver lining; I can now have a nice nightcap of a hot Powers without slobbering shipmates telling me stories about how great Brocklebanks was and the good times we all had in Chalna. Nostalgia my arse, I've jumped that ship long ago. Bartender boil that kettle, there's a good chap.

There's no call for any BS. A?

Come join me at the bar and I will tell of Marconi and of their many Crusaders, Commanders and Commandants E-S. Possibly not as famous as his Lordship, nor as involved in the gindustry but worth a hot toddy on me and a share of my plate of sandwiches. We told the chief plastico to arrange a plate for yourself too but he said you'd be too pissed to bother the cook with it after you were rescued from a facedown in the soup episode at luncheon.

I didn't know Earl Haig drank Powers. One is tempted to ask why he didn't drink Haig's.

Make us a cheese toastie whilst you are boiling that kettle, ES, there's a ...good?... chap.

ES got a new crew mate?....Distinctly heard him calling for Heuweeee a while back. Morning Stewards! full english with freshly brewed coffee please.

Tom will be down in a minute. He's busy staring at the map thingy and shaking his head on the chart room whilsy cursing the virtues of the Magnetic compass. Gave the ECDIS a thump in passing too¬!

Too vague? Is E-S unwell?

I think he mentioned Ralph as well and it sounded quite urgent. At least no-one who has seen the state of the heads can say he has a weak stomach, he hit the ceiling as well as everywhere else.

"You can't roller skate in a Buffalo herd.":) Roger Miller.

Shouldn't that be "Buffalo TURD" ?? Difficult to get up to speed. :chuckle:

My guess is that he's been taking salts --------- Somersalts! :really_mad:

Who the hell is the smart-arse that thought that because we are in Aus the chart should be upside down?? It was bad enough being upside down when it was the right way up, but after it got turned over, for a while there I thought we had a small scale chart of the South Pole. (I knew it had only been turned over recently as there wasn't a single stain on it anywhere. :supercool:

Ah Varley, I can recall many's a companionable evening in the Smokeroom discussing the merits of the Crusader and the design foibles of the Foster Wheeler air register. Innocent times.
Our shipmates seem to be up and about, nothing like the smell of an Ulster Fry to settle a queasy tummy. As for the soup incident, I was very lucky the Potage Dubarry was neither deep enough to drown me or hot enough to scald me. Catering at its best.

The only stain on the South Pole is Roald Amundsen.

And of the Howden rotary air heater and Bellini-Tosi loops. Look at that lantern swing!

I say, why are we one our own? Boring lot anyway, did I ever tell you of the time I...……………….

Yes you did. I know as much about HF/DF as any marine fitter turner alive today.
Most of the lads have taken to their bunks with colic, the scour, cramps and looseness; the Ulster Fry strikes again as it takes a man to attack potato bread and fried soda's. You, Tmac and me are the only hero's standing and T is dozing in the Steering Flat with his furry friends.
Anyway tell me that story again about the Chief burning out the rotary air heater on the Texaco Copenhagen.

That one I don't know E-S, the Denmark I knew in her day but then not back to Texaco until after a return to school and then Spain and London when Hokushin and early INS was on my plate (only Hokushin by the forbearance of Ted Alford, not much welcomed below by others except for a brew and chat).

Stonehaven had one 'though and I did a little into ER venturing to try and fix the alarm for failed rotation (my solution was, unfortunately not proof against the temperature). It had, at least initially 'failed safe' so we knew the alarm was not working. Perhaps not the case on Copenhagen.

HF DF? - I must have been an alcoholic pontificating above my paygrade explanation. DF gets very messy once the skywave gets in on the act.

HOI !!! I DID NOT...:mad: it wuz an accident and anyhoo I wasn't there and didn't see anybody because I was asleep in my bunk, ashore, on leave, in Barcelona... so there :huh:

Furthermore I am not asleep in the steering flat, I was merely resting my eyes after many hours studying the technical manuals on Gynecology... I'm considering a careen change as apparently I make a c*** of everything I touch :chuckle:

sniff sniff is that the aroma of an Ulster Fry I detect?... don't tell me ES has gotten off his arse at last and did something creative :applause: anybody seen the brown sauce?