Tmac is a serial breaker of wind, I will not use a working class word. I myself don a BA set on St-By's because it's tough down the stokehold. Mr V carries his EEBD/ELSA on a strip of cow around his midriff, Marigold and Daisy did not die in vain, what could not be made into burgers could be fashioned into a belt.

Sir William, I can assure you that none of the crew would defile the GDII by farting unless it was either necessary or amusing.

It isn't the farts that bother me rather it is the follow through that causes the difficulty. In a hot injun room I usually just walk around until it hardens and chip the residue off later. :smoking:

Stop Stop Stop.


Under Marpol Annex IV you cannot chip off such residue willy-nilly. It must be disposed off properly. It is suggested you buy a pair of bicycle clips for your boilersuit , drink less Guinness and less Weetabix for breakfast. Our elders put great store in the solidifying properties of hard boiled eggs. Sweet sickly pong but no slurry.

Guinness Double X, boiled eggs, curried prawns, fresh willicks (welks) and a big pot of baked beans. One fart and you were in court for chemical warfare. I dropped one of those in a girlfriends house and watched the paper peel off the walls. :chuckle:

Bicycle clips !!!! have you ever tried to ride a bike around the injun room?... you are a braver man than me Gunga Din :thumb:

I tried to obtain a po for the injun room, just for the convenience like (geddit ???) but couldn't find a shop selling them. Sir Billy said to try Boots, but it was no good the crap ran though the lace holes:chuckle:

Tank yew I'm here all week.

The residue, E-S, should not be on your willy! Did you consult Jake against my advice?

Flatus does seem to amuse the plumbers more than those of us who occasionally come up for the light (or to mend it). We had a second in Fyffes who would perform his ablutionary discharges with a sheet of Bronco over the sanitary vent in order to savour the perfume for as long as possible. There was also Harpic. Another second or junior chief. There would have been no trouble at all should Tmac have left anything around that needed chipping. His fluidic evolutions were both frequent and sufficiently industrial to take the metal back to SA two and a half.

A bowl of flowers, a well cooked meal, a fine wine, beer well hopped, the smell of the good clean earth, a salt laden wind from the sea. C'mon, it's not all farts in life, you know.

Though quite a lot of it is.

Ah how we miss the Late Commodore Briggs. ne could hear him comming with his long raspy farts.

No raspberries for a month or two yet unless frozen ones. Could the pan take a slack bowelfull of those without cracking I wonder.

And you could tell where he had been for days after. :(

I think we could close all those injun room vents so that when we sail, if there is no wind, we can enlist the injuneering department to provide the necessary propulsion power ---- in the words of the song:

The Captain's name was Carter, He was a dirty farter,
When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship wouldn't go,
They sent for Carter, the farter, to start 'er.

Also at our next concert"

The Captain's name was Carter, he was a dirty farter,
He could fart anything from "God Save the King" to "Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. :)

A well cooked meal, a fine wine, beer well hopped,


FJ, you may not know it but you have discovered the recipe for slow, silent, biological warfare type of sneaky fart. Patent it and you will be a rich man. Few friends but a big banky balancer.

I don't know about raspberries -- BUT - Blackberries --

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii0PNk4DjQs

I think my Ladm takes the biscuit for "Cushion Creepers". Little Devil dropped one in the car and I had to anchor up and abandon ship while it cleared.

What biscuits have that effect? They have never done it for me. Curry and porta. Now there's a sure fire recipe.

(I haven't unpacked my raspberry pie yet, perhaps it will be uneatable when I get round to it).

Our cargo of sand is finally completely loaded (kinda like the rest of us like to be?) After we sail I can open our sealed orders which (for a tidy sum) request that we call at Honiara on Guadalcanal to pick up some yet as to be determined documents from WW II to be delivered to the U.S. Navy when we reach Honolulu. :supercool:

"Sealed Orders", "Sealed bloody Orders"


I'm right well sick of Cornish Pasty lunches, the novelty has worn off and an ugly mob is threatening to storm the Pussers cabin. Better call the Master at Arms.

Calm yourself lad, indulge yourself in a libation or three, nobody goes nowhere, knowhow without the blessing of the injuneers sealed orders or not:supercool:

Point of order Mr Captain, sir, why wasn't I informed we had a cabin full of pussy? I have been prowling the bars ashore for just such a commodity and now I find we had a cabin full on board all the time :( If ES is pissed at current developments you haven't seen how pissed off a pussyless Chief Injuneer can be :shock::shock:

It's a long haul from Oz to Hawii but I've bought a cracking novel to pass away my sober hours. The rise and fall of H&W, half price in Easons in Darwin, time will tell if it's a bargain.
Have any shipmates got a book to swap.

What about "Meetings with amazing manuscripts"? I try, during morning ablutions, to alternate between a novel and an 'improving' volume' this being one of the latter.

All I can say is that I must be much improved but it don't feel like it.

I picked up a "Who done it" from Hatchard's when in the smoke last week. After four days I am beginning to think that, too, should have had a turkey on the dustcover.

I think yours is one of a series. It covers only the reciprocating years, still, for the time you will be devoting to it it should last you until Vol II (in which we hear how Mr. Parsons, a young gentleman of an Hibernian noble line, got in to share the hot fog).

I read quite a lot in the Little Library, can be challenging at times.
Must do a bit of research as I thought Parsons was a Geordie.

It's crap as I know the fellow wot writ it :jester:

P.S. Spoiler alert...the Titanic sinks in the end...just sayin' like :quill:

4th Son of the Earl of Rosse. Pretty much a polytech being a dab hand at electrickery as well but, as you say, did much of his 'thing' in the Northeast, was with Clarke Chapmans for a while but fell out over patents and working on his own account. Between nature and nurture a clever family all told. Edward Kirton gives enthusiastic presentation and did so for the RINA/ImarEST branch here in November, worth catching if you have the opportunity.

Sunk. Damnit they kept that quiet. Are you sure she was OK when she left the yard?

Guaranteed as far as the bar, after that they were on their own. :yawn:

H&W don't make icebergs but if they did.....................:huh:

Thanks a bundle lads, you spoilt my enjoyment of Chapter 1 and 5. However I am consoled by the belief that British Captain, Verena, Ixion, Kenya Castle, Iberia all missed icebergs.
I cannot vouch for Carronbank or Laganbank as Andrew Weir generally preferred coral reefs or apparently unchartered islands to run up on.
The only reason H&W don't make icebergs is that it could be a profitable endeavour and not in need of a Government Grant.

Would they sink too??? :(

I reckon abou 2/3rds of them would Tom.

I thought it was about 90%.

Tmac, why are you boasting that you know the author of the book? I have read it, he doesn't sound like any great shakes to me. Probably hangs around on some ship in the Engine Room with a few animalistic helpers, drinking to forget the past and blot out his awful future. How unlike your good self, a fine upright person who labours under the almost complete inability to express himself and yet smiles all the time. Have a glass of Babycham, no-one else will drink it.

How are Eric and Squeek, by the way?

Wow! Do they still make that "Maidens' water" ??? Must admit that in the past I had a penchant for "Double Courage" ----- three of those a a sort of Rosy Glow spread around the room.

"It was Christmas in the bunk house and the boys were feeling Rosy. Rosy didn't like it so she got up and left." :)

I don't remember, but I have the feeling we have left Darwin?? Well done fellers !! (I was going to write "fellaheen" (the plural of fellah) but we've only got one "fellah" aboard (Farmer John) so that wouldn't have worked. Really - we're getting really good at this silent running stuff. Quiet? party on the pool deck. :pint:

Right and correct FJ, I also have a lot of time for T but the poor bugger can't string two words together. Perhaps he's lis dexic, or similar. Then bloody marsupials are full of virus's and bacteria and should be quarantined in the Bosun's store.

If you bring the Babycham to the boil it will be quite safe if you drink it as soon as it's cooled.

Actually, we have a vat of the stuff in my stores, I fill all the empty champagne bottles with it and send it back through our trans dimensional portal to the cellars of the bars in the houses of Parliament. Then we get back the proper stuff.

Surely the trans dimension is only that small difference between drinkers of that persuasion have in bladder/overboard distance?

Overboard? It all goes in the vat. I do mark the bottles, we have never had any recycled in to us, only out.

Eric and Squeek are fine and send their regards as wish to enquire if your trouser legs are still available for upward exploration during the Easter holiday?

As an injuneer I fail to see the need for verbosity in expressing oneself in the vernacular. I find two simple words suffice in every occasion, the second one being "OFF" prefixed by a four letter word of multiplicity application i.e. it can be considered a Verb, Noun, Adjective, Interjection or indeed an Adverb. :quill:

Just so long as the word is not "beer".

Squeek and Eric are welcome to investigate my trouser legs, as an agricultural toiler I always wear Nicky Tams, so their upward progress will be impeded at some juncture.

A nice pair of Nicky Tams can be fetching but only if hairy baler twine is used. Blue polyprop is not acceptable in polite society.