Happy Birthday Sire, to mark the occasion the whistle will play "Happy Birthday" at an ear shattering and deafening volume from sunrise to sunset today. The injuneers are immune to the effects of this cacophony of sound as 1, we are all deaf, 2, we have muffs on our ears, 3, we never listen to a bloody thing anyhoo and finally 4, we are all ashore in the pub with your credit card....Slante :pint::pint::pint:

[QUOTE=Tom Alexander;
I will only admit that the "Titanic" situation had nothing to do with the injuneering department. :wave:[/QUOTE]

Too right Squire, the sluice valves worked properly :hippy:

Crikey! All those anniversaries. A barrel of 1812 Gripe will be available from 1900 (on me). The Noilly is already behind the bar. All we need is a little bit of left hand down a bit and we can have a deckfull of three year ice and a polar bear to go with it.

The Noilly is behind the bar but The Prat is in front. So sad.

YM, there is more aboard this ship than you can dream of. If it is potable, we have it, though I am not sure Coke Zero is potable.

Sir William, the bar is all sorted, best horses doofers served and a toast to be drunk to your good self till we can drink no more.

Where did the engineers get all those muffs from, some of them look like Mole asses to me. Good thing they can't hear that we turned their Calliope off after one chorus.

I say E-S is a bit previous isn't he? The Sun's not over the grandstand yet (and it ain't. Haven't heard the bikes yet today - they're not getting a marvellous TT under their belts).

Isle of Man TT's was always a great favourite with all in County Antrim, up there with the North West 200.

Just been across the road (felt a fart coming on and thought I'd see if could get it to McDonald's before it escaped). Roads were closed but opened again before I got back across the road so looks like today a total wash out (rain in North and West, tentative schedule announced for tomorrow).

Buggered lock on No.1 bedroom - with it closed and locked, of course. Guest arriving tonight. Good day all round - fuckertyfuckfuck fuckerty.

Wot you need is a good injuneer, if I ever find one I'll let you know :chuckle:

A very Happy Birthday to the admiral, and congratulations to the Skipper. Any beverage that appeals is proper to raise in a glass, except anything beginning with the word "Coke," "Coca," or "Pepsi," which should only ever be used to remove accumulations of crud from lead acid accumulator terminals.

Submit your injuneer proper now found.

Managed to finesse it (without brute force I may add).

Locksmith still arranged for tomorrow AM - suggest reputation would take a turn for the worse if guest found involuntarily confined to bedroom.

Coke Zero wasn't potable so they changed its name to 'Coke - No Sugar'. Much better!

Rather partial to calliope music but I thought that ours was a bit short on steam pressure ............. perhaps a bit more burnable pool deck furniture is needed or a return to coal firing. It's bloody hard work firing Bunker C with a shovel.

:applause: :applause:

Don't heat it and it will solidify enough to shovel. My Ag Walla told me so, it must be true.

You call me louche! I cook with gas. An Ag Walla is simply a fashion of the nouveaus unless one has a stately pile and staff.

Available in a range of colours; Dartmouth Blue, Linen, Pewter, Aubergine, Cream, Black, Pearl Ashes, Claret, Heather and Blush: which you should.

Should I acquire a pile I will ask cook what colour she would like. You know I talk of a live-in pile, different from the ones I have been modelling in MIG in 2018 (although both can be uncomfortable in winter).

Arriving at B-A. Dunno how that bl**y Tmac and his injuneers managed to get ashore already -- think they've been using the transporter without authorisation again. I'd offer to join them but it appears our new passengers are lined up on the quay and ready to board and all I can say is WOW !! To heck with the bar crawl, come on up my lovelies. Welcome aboard the GD II. :flowers:

Farmer John -- Could you please relieve me for the next two weeks. Have to administer an extensive family road trip in Western Canada culminating in the High School Graduation of my oldest Great Grand daughter.

You main concern is to get all these lovelies who have just joined to Miami. I believe Sir William has the fine details.

Yes, there are certainly some lovelies amongst the ladies who have just joined.
What do the 'fine details' consist of and I trust that Sir William will share them with the rest of us?
:flowers:
Enjoy your shore leave in Western Canada by the way Tom.

Thanks ES.
Helpful and practical as ever.
Took your advice re getting the Bunker C onto the shovel but, as a matter of interest, did your 'Ag Walla' happen to mention how to get it off the shovel short of burning the shovel too?
Think that perhaps I will stick with coal!

Similar to a run ashore with FJ or BB, a smear of KY Jelly will help. The very thick Bunker C will slide off your shovel and into the furnace. Coal is a so 20th Century fuel, google, "A. Scargill" for confirmation.

20th Century - that's me!
I knew that I had missed something but don't much fancy cooking my eggs and bacon on a shovel greased with KY Jelly.

Hopefully amusing aside. Friend of mine has capitulated to infirmity and now on oxygen (bottles for some reason, not generator?).

This, evidently, calls for personal introduction by qualified pharmacist. As we all know use of Vaseline on the fittings forbidden and this point made firmly by attending gentleman. What I didn't know was that the recommended lubricant is KY Jelly. A point made equally firmly to my friend and attentive wife who then dissolved in giggles to the immediate detriment of the oxygen demand.

:applause::applause:

Tom, consider the GD to be firmly in my hands, before you depart, can you clearly mark which is the bow and which the stern? Apart from that, I think we will be fine.

I wish you a very pleasant trip, seeing the littlies succeed is a great pleasure. Even when they really are not littlies any more.

Injuneers are real men, we put sand in the KY Jelly to increase the friction during grinding motions. :shock:

Never, NEVER stand in the way of an injuneer and their thirst, many a poor matelot has been trampled to death in the stampede. Further as us injuneers built the transporter thingie we each have personal divec...devesic....dvise.... things wot make it work on our wrists. :quill: One poof and we are gone :yawn:

Oh dear, Looks like the plasticos will have to go then

Injuneers, why do they keep sending their wrists to places? Must be to give them a rest.

Memo to self: must take stock of where we stand, personnel wise. "Wise" is probably not the appropriate word but lets continue.
TA is on leave, touring the untourable, woods and trees and mountainy men and their undesirable women and things that are only aching to eat you, grizzleys and crocodiles and polar bears and spiders.

FJ is in "Command", well I never. And me a huge supporter of British Tickets, shiver me timbers.


And Billyboy now 1st Mate or Chief Officer as he has taken to calling himself, he's due for a fall. And not from grog.

Varley has taken to searching Lidl for an auto-start stomach pump whose innards will not be corroded by full strength Gripitini, we wish him Goodspeed.

My old china, Tmac, has taken the absence of TA to let his wee Belfast Hard-Nut personality re-appear and is headbutting all he meets, a Glentoran Kiss.

Red 17 is behaving like a Teaser in a stud farm, just a wee pop up the gangway and off again once all the crew shows interest. (Lots of interest)

Thank God I'm sane and to prove it to myself I have swallowed the keys to the main engine and will pass them only when Mr Mundrabilla joins and takes charge of the boilers.

So there.

Wash your mouth out young man...Glentoran....!!!!!:yawn: Crusaders if you please, we aren't called the Hatchet men for nothing....:chuckle:

North Belfast born, bread and buttered :wave:

North Belfast borders East Antrim, as I recall from O-Level geography (failed).

I am going to build a wall, a big wall, the biggest wall in the world.

And you are going to pay for it.

All our passengers are aboard and are making themselves known to one and all, please adjust your dress as a refusal often offends. We will sail at Midnight GMT, aiming towards Namibia if my little school atlas is right. We have about 18,000 miles to travel, maybe more if we go round the outside. It is chilly here at the moment, which is strange as we seem to be in Argentina.

Our Plastico stewards are ready to serve a welcome aboard feast, roast Swan, spitted Boar and jelly and custard. Standbye at 2300, give the Injuns a polish and inflate the starting thingy, the number of turns on the elastic at present are 25,000 approx so keep the treadmills going.

I'm just going to get a vote on which is the front and which the back just to be sure.

Any comments about my ticket will be punished by keel-hauling, 2 passes side to side.

Damn, what a fool I am, the sharp end goes first, and the whirly end pushes us along. That's a real clue.

Yes FJ, these referendum things never quite go the way you plan, it seems.

the whirly end pushes us along.

The whirly end is more whirlier than you give it credit for. Beware, it may bite you.

I don't intend to push anything of mine into it. Are you mad?

The trick is to get it down to one simple question as we have done with Brexit. Simple, no problems.

Boilers. Are they those big cylindrical fiery things downstairs where we burn the secret codes, incriminating documents and the galley spoils?
Oh dear. Looks like sails and cold showers for a while - still trying to master shovelling Bunker C even with the addition of KY Jelly ........
The cold showers may well have the added advantage of protecting our lady passengers but, of course, there will be sufficient hot water for their showers. Perhaps we could share? Are they even still aboard, just otherwise occupied or have I been in the wrong place at the wrong time? (Story of my life) :jester: