I just hope it is used in the erogenous zone. Tmac seems to cover this.

I have heard that the feet can be fetishized as erogenous. If you know that there is a foot fetishist aboard, especially one with a foot (or within an inch or two) there is a tangible risk without involving the soap.

I've got a foot. But I'm saving it for Fergie's cruise in October. Red hair and false teeth are an unbeatable combination, believe me.

Most of the ladies T knows requires soap on a rope.

Lifebuoy??

Difference between a lady in the bath and a lady in Church?

The one in Church has a soul full of hope.

Billyboy's ladies appear to have a **** full of soap whilst Tmac's have a **** full of rope. In addition T's are rumoured to have a lifebuoy c/w self activating safety light.

Dear Administrator, Please delete #5527 because it is far too smutty and erroneously indicates Tmac mixes with the wrong sort. Many thanks.

just looked at that TV thingy on the bridge. we appear to have a large yellow mass off our right hand side Tom. That other thing with the line going round like a clock hand is making funny beeping noises too. best you check it out while i whistle us up another bottle of Four Bells eh!

Fool, it is a tv. The yellow mass is Boris and the thing with the line going round like a clock hand is his hied birriling around with all the crap he has spouted over the past month. A radar picture would be like a breath of fresh air.

That's the thing that tells us what we are going to hit isn't it? I have never believed it can be that accurate (beam width, aspect of target, bloody minded electronics etc.) would this be a good time for us to check my theory? I reckon we're going to hit the little dot to the right, left …….. right, left ..... of the clockey-going-round thingy and not the big bugger with the flashing triangle on it (Roadworks?).

I took it as a compliment :chuckle::chuckle:

anybody on the bridge call for flank speed?.... we going somewhere or just making our presence felt? :smoking:

Proceed to the Bar with all dispatch.

Jeez Tmac I always misunderestimate you. You always turn the other cheek, but that's a boarding school education for you. Varley could have done with some of that discipline, make a man of him, so it would.

Is that a message from the agents or are you just thirsty? Again?

If I got you the wool would you make a template for me? Don't think for a moment that we properly schooled types didn't know what it was like to feel a man! (Have I got that right, grammar never was a strong point, all the cold showers).

The TV thingy is the door on the microwave and the big yellow mass you saw was some left over fried chicken on the turntable warming up while I nipped to the head to shake hands with the unemployed.

The line going round like a clock hand is the timer indicator on the coffee pot -- the beeping letting us know that it has finished brewing.

Perfect timing then for the Four Bells. The only remaining question is whether you would prefer cream in your fortified coffee, or do you prefer it black? :bounce:

That's Sir William for you -- here we are halfway across the Bay of Biscay and he thinks the water is calm enough to go water skiing. :jester::jester:

Black for me Tom, NO Sugar please.

Never mind the coffee - just the fortification will do, please. (Actually I don't drink but I am sure that I could barter the fortification for some decent coffee.)!:jester:

Found this at Victoria Dock today and wondered if it had been lost overboard or stolen from the Golden Dreamer on her/his/its/(whatever) recent visit to Melbourne.

I told you. The little dot disappeared from the Permanently Perplexing line-going-round thing at the same time as the percolator perked. Black for me too, hope you washed your hands.

Those are very funny shaped survival craft, more like rescue jacuzzi. I do like the cocktail table. Do you suppose the small dot's crowd would mind us keeping one if we picked them up? The flashing triangle stopped now so I suppose we have a chance at the big bugger.

Looks like my Jacuzzi.

It is our portable floating Roulette table, it pays for at least 50% of our stores.

I rest my case Tom.
 

Did you ask Tmac for more revs again?

Your wish is my command !! The rest of you line up behind Sir William and I will ensure the barista will serve exactly what you want. (Coffee that is !) :pint:

Behind Sir W? Wasn't curry on the me-and-you last night was there?

Tom's "Barista" looked awfully like Cedric the Nice steward from Birkenhead. He can draw lovely designs on the froth with the nail on his pinkie.
Bugger off Varley, you know what a Pinkie is.

I do indeed. But I've never seen one with a nail. More Albert the Good than Cedric the Nice by the sound of it.

Cedric is more Bohemian than Saxe-Coburg, as many Birkenheaders are. Cedric, being a stalwart NUS man, grows the nails on his pinkeys only for scratching his bottom and picking his nose as he believes it annoys the Smokeroom lounge lizards.
As if.

Lets cut the crap, Baristas my bollix. Give the men Maxwell House, 2 teaspoons of Tate & Lyle and a good dejoram of Black Bush. That's the stuff for the troops.

Where on earth did you learn that uneducated dribble of 2 teaspoons ??? On a high class vessel like the Golden Dreamer II we refer to the sweetening of beverages as "one lump, or two?" in solemn memory of Mr. Cube. :)

I stand corrected and am morto (Dublineese for mortified ) that Mr Manners has been let slip. But I did warn that signing on riff-raff could have consequences for decorum in the wardroom. I do feel a victim as does Tmac but Lord V ( Eton, Oxford and the Guards ) can mix easily in his superior way.
Billyboy has just corrected me ( Wilfrids, Reeds and Marconi) still quite an impressive education. Little wonder the crew are in awe of him especially when he demands little silver tongs to drop in his sugar lumps. Breeding shows.

Don't confuse schooling with education! Schooling does indeed make one more easy in the company of any type likely to be a guest of HM as well as drinkers of that Hibernian Black Mush. Education is what makes one avoid both. Especially the latter.

A bit like putting a tomato in a fruit salad.

I thought he had a whiff of a ticket puncher about him.


Please adjust your dress before leaving the conveniences.

I feel we are straying from the proper subject of the care, maintenance, sustenance and entertainment of the GD and crew to a world of sandwiches without crusts and croquet on the Rec Ground.

Never fear -- Sir William was never close to being a ticket puncher. Sir W's spot was up the front end of the train -- the bloke with the shovel I believe. Fireman Bill I believe was his name, and he could cook a mean lunch on his shovel. (Who needed a microwave back then?) Still needed something to wash it all down with though. :pint:

V is taking a bit of Incoming elsewhere so let's rally around and show solidarity by inviting him to a Pub Lunch in the Smokeroom. All hands assemble at midday in best bib and tucker and fcuk the begrudgers.
Tmac!!! Get out of that frigging boiler suit (Dongareens) and wash behind your ears, like a good boy.
Once on GD Articles always on Articles.

Watch out for that Article over there, don't sit dow….. oh dear. Too late.

NURSE!!!!!!

Best Bib and tucker it is then lads.

Ulster fry's all round is it? i can put a few bottles on the bar for the occasion!

Steward, Take a case of vintage port to Mr Varley and inform him we are having lunch in the smoke room with drinks and that his attendance would be very much appreciated.