There is a place where they only use 25 letters of the alphabet.

And they don’t know why….

Grammarians say that “i before e except after c”.
Scientists have disproved this.

Lawrence of Arabia used to live near me, he was working at catfoss airfield he used his motorbike to get there and back.

Front page headline from tonight's Evening Telegraph ( Dundee and district).
Guess the local police learned something new :pAttachment 4064

Ha ha! Yet another example of people not proofing what they write!
Rgds.
Dave

I wonder whether the Sub-Editor did it on purpose to see if his boss was paying attention - In which case obviously not.

Maybe the Subby is on his last week before starting with a new firm and had been sharing the odd hauf and hauf with his current colleagues.

Has anyone else noticed that time feels like gravity - The further you go the faster it gets.

If I have said it before then I obviously missed it because it was going so fast then it was all a blur.

Take care to ensure that you do not meet yourself coming the other way.

Relative size of my Avatar…

WORD TO THE WISE :-
Dont play leapfrog with a unicorn .

Tony

Yep, seemed a good idea at the time.

England football fan…

The English Press gives me the bokes.

In Fort William now that the midges have stopped flying they can enjoy the pleasures of an open top bus.

Apple or raspberry?

Clever.
My response was too short for posting rules, consider this sentence irrelevant.

You decide to fire up some 'heritage' audio kit; You find an old vinyl record.
You realise that you are not actually listening to the music when you spot:

33+45=78. :p

Rather like saying that you know something like the back of your hand and then noticing some little white spots...:huh:

Could be beri-beri?

Nah, that’s a red rash. :big_tongue:

Well that’s that sorted…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcQm90mikhs

They will have to change the lyrics after all these years.

Thanks Trumpy McTrumpface.

There I was sat in the cafe at Asda drinking a cup of coffee and eating a jam doughnut.
Another customer leans across and says "You always seem to be eating jam doughnuts, that could be bad for you. At your age you need to mind your blood sugar..."
I said "Well my Grandmother lived until she was 97"
He said "So did she eat a jam doughnut every day?"
I said "No, she used to just mind her own business"

Here is a weird thought:
'I' always goes before 'E'.
Except when your foreign neighbour Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty cafeinated weightlifters.

Indeed.
Believe me.
Beleive me.

I thought it was Adge Cutler who said " I always goes before Ee."

As an idle thought, check out the history of silent letters in the English language........ All invented to "conform"! One quarter of the way through 1st year (Comprehensive, year 3), Miss Bolger announced that we would not have to parse sentences any more as English would no be taught as a "latin" language any more. Thank the Lord!

Rgds.
Dave

Ah yes. Latin, the origin of the 'must not split infinitives'. Mainly because such a thing is impossible in Latin anyway.

Suitable for this thread...

Sorry to be contrary, but my experiences of sailing in the '70's showed me that most crews relied on alcohol and "waccy baccy" for their daily sustenace!

Roy.

I am reminded of the Frenchman who was advised to abstain from drinking alcohol.
"But I really enjoy a glass of wine with my meals"
M. Le Docteur: "That's not drinking, that's part of the meal."

Do you have, perchance, the contact details of M. le Medecin?

I understand that perhaps tous les Medecins et toutes les Infirimieres are of a similar opinion in France.
My Neice, now retired, is/was one of the latter from where my information came.