Boss.. would dearly love to join in.. but am in no. 1 hold practicing my slapshot.. then off to the hangar deck to install my new mega-mega screen TV to watch the Lads play the Senators tonight in the Conference final... oh yeah... barbeque on the hangar deck, hot dogs, hamburgers, and lots and lots of Ahrn... :pint::pint::pint::pint:

GO PENGUINS! ! !

all this is too much to take on my first day aboard 'think i will go to the bar for a very large jack daniels with ice just for cooling me down don'tcha know

At what stage should I mention that I already 'tweaked' the governors? How do you think I got here?

If he tweaks them any more then ssr481 will be looking for the bits.

Anyway, as I am supposed to be 'the passenger', What are all these other people doing drinking in our lounge?

Terrible thing just now chaps (welcome aboard Tony but shouldn't you be on the bridge if those two are here?). All the snot loosening pills and blasting steroids up the nose has still not brought back my sense of taste. Only booze that tickles the fancy at present is V8 bloodies Mary with chilli vodka, fizz and an orange thing called Grand Julian. Enjoyed a pint on Thursday but not as much as it deserved by a long shot.

we are all one big happy Family aboard here Malcolm....Cheers!

Now, a barbeque is it. Really prefer food cooked inside outside rather than half botulism babies specially part carbonised over a split 45 gallon drum. However it would be churlish to grump alone in my house sniffing at Gripewater in the vain hope of sensing flavour. Does bread sauce go with penguin?

Ah there you are Varley. Care for a large libation and a fine cigar?

Not over keen on the Bar-B-Q myself. Them gulls never seem to miss. Last time one swooped down and stole the burger patty clean out of my roll. I have watched them study the wind before evacuating their bowels over the grill.

I study the wind before I get out of
me pit If it rumbles .get up sharpish if its gentle then I let go mostly aft

Perhaps you should try the tried and true method and call on the devices of Sister Eleff, or Red-17 ----some cotton waste on the end of a corkscrew vigourously inserted in your nasal passage, twisted, then rapidly removed should provide adequate clearance?? :bounce::bounce:

[COLOR="Red"COLOR]Being a 'umble Canadian, all I can say is "sorry" but I do hope the Ottawa Senators continue their recent performance.

With the lack of enthusiasm for a trip to the South Pole, I took it upon myself to sneak into the transporter room and then, having cracked the security code, beamed myself to the South Pole, planted the Golden Dreamer house flag there and returned forthwith, fifthwith, if not sooner. I don't think anyone even missed me? :balloon:

Well in that case, mine's a glass of W & J Graham's best Port.

Got to support the relatives don't y'know - leave the bottle....


Your jolly good health!:pint:

Oh, we always leave the bottle. The contents, gone like snow in Summer.

You forgot the Bunker C on the cotton waste to kill any infection - (never mind the lint free material recommended elsewhere on here). :yawn:

Have a word with Tmac Varley. an air line connected to ones stern gland might blow it all out for you.
Here have another bottle while you are thinking about it.....Cheers!

For complete efficacy of the remedy, it might be advisable to hammer some bungs into the ears as well.

Back already Tom? I heard you say something about nipping ashore for a quick one.

Were they the Washington Senators once upon a time?

I'm guessing from the black and gold colours that the Penguins still skate in Pittsburgh?

Problem is with the Euston Station tubes. If there was no eardrum (through which the GP can see and reckons no more room the other side for gunk) then a messy blow-through would probably do the job but I don't want to end up deaf - it is a much worse disability than many think. My reception is already in ARQ mode and doing as much Repeat requesting as it is 'printing'. We seem to be clear of the nose blowing vertigo that had alarmed me enough to run off to the GP but today's two pints just didn't taste like they should have.

David far be it from me to presume to offer medical advice which as we all accept is the purview of the beautiful Sister Eleff but may I offer an injuneering solution to your ailment.

1, place your male appendage (penile) upon a table near the edge
2, strike vigorously with a lump hammer
3. the congealed wax etc will thereupon fly out of your ears at a considerable rate of knots :shock::shock:

Don't thank me it's all part of the service :yawn:

Riddle me this. heard someone say today on a discusion the you cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.but can some of you old hands confirm the in the lifeboat lockers there are old tins of egg powder.so you can make either an omelette or a pancake

Did one, odd looks from chess partner. Did two, edge now closer, getting odder looks from chess partner while trying to comply as he moves table further from edge. Objective three not achieved (had GP been seeing wax through my eardrum he would have had to have been looking from the inside out).

I'll go and see Sis. and here's your lump hammer back sorry about the edging material stuck to the face.

If Sisters not there at the sick bay ask for Red-17. she is a trained nurse who has kindly volunteered to assist in the sick bay in times of need.
Maybe she knows a way to blow the blockage from you aural canals or nasal passages David.

Or scrambled egg. However one still needs one egg to break so as to have a little of its shell to scatter on finished dishes made from the powder.

Wow, that was a long nap. I must have needed it. Do I look better? It was beauty sleep, you know. I've just been skimming the posts to see what I've missed. Good medical advice from Tmac. Ouch! It appears that I may have a few more inseams to measure. For those of you who have just joined the GD, please have a browse through the uniforms. Funny, no one wants the swashbuckler and it's so Errol Flynn-ish. Then it's time for fun and games with the measuring. Next - There will be NO - I repeat - NO cooking the chickens! Gawd! How many times do I have to tell you! I don't want to see chicken on the buffet. My babies! Thermals have been ordered, Sir William, Sir. Amazon will drop them by drone. Last but not least!!! No one - no one calls me Patsy. Pat, Pats, Patricia, but not the other one. Have I missed anything? Can I get a bacon sarnie and a cup of very black coffee with proper cream? Please? (Another long work week ahead of me. I'll endeavor to do a better job of checking in this week.) . That is all.

And I inherited my position from Dom. I'm now the keeper of Dom's White Gloss. He left us the recipe, but in keeping with his humour, I think he left out an ingredient. No one has ever been able to make White Gloss the same as he did. Luckily, we still have some of the original recipe. Maybe we'll raise a glass of White Gloss to Commodore, Sir and Dom when we reach the land of the midnight sun.

This is the kind of stuff I've been waiting for

Farmer John -
Ice Cream cones (Heavy duty)
Left handed corkscrew (motorised)
Bald man's comb (with polish applicator).
Trouser furling rig (with Spanish Windlass).

Tmac -
set of metric glass hammers and rubber nails
bucket of tartan paint
left handed spanner (Imperial to BSF thread)
open ended screwdriver (non ratchet)
replacement horizontal steam trap
lubricating gel for the Golden Rivet (jumbo size)

Sir William, Sir
A couple of fulsons pulminators in every size or just extra large like everything else around here?

Go for it Red. Whatever you do, just don't bend over. :hippy:

Be advised that there are many ventures that could result in shafting arrangements here.

might need new tyres for our wheels Red-17. I have a bad back so cant lean enough to check. Wheels, of course, how do you think we get along when the tides out.
now, if you lean over this rail and look down maybe you can see the wheels. (heh heh heh)

Yes -- still skating in Pittsburgh.

No -Washington senators different -- but the British did a number on the Whitehouse back in 1814. Also, please let it be known that it was the Canadians who invented basketball, and modern ice hockey,

It seems the Washington senators are in a semblance of disarray at present. The governmental Ottawa senators are in a state of dissemblance over one of their number apparently having a penchant for a very young girl.

Having said all that, remember there is nothing wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family! :wink::wink:

As it is getting colder here in Invercargill, and the fact that we still have a cargo aboard to deliver to Taiwan, we will sneak out of the harbour at some time tomorrow morning, after a full English, accompanied with hot rum, lemon and honey (good for all sorts of ailments).

Would all departments please ensure that we have all hands aboard and that they have paid in full all their bar, bordello, shopping bills, etc., so we will be welcome back here again at some time in the future. :egg:

we could pretend to be here for another couple of days...invite the Mayor aboard with his 3 beautiful Daughters for drinkies and tour of the ship prior to sneaking out early in the morning Tom.....Or am i just being a devious old man as usual?.

speaking of partys. We will be having an appreciation party quite soon. all gentlemanly type party with our female crew members of course. this will be to show our appreciation for the herculean efforts of Farmer John who will soon complete a project that most of us aboard wouldnt know how to do (that includes me).

Are the South Pole crew back with the pole yet, please?

He isn't a Pole he's a Croatian......... or so he tells me :hippy:

They all look the same to me.

Foreigners I tell you....make em walk the plank i say...yes the plank.
gonna have to tighten up round here....anyone got a fag?

I never knew we had fagging on the GD. That's the last time I clean my own shoes.

Fag, oh fag, clean my boots, then go see Sir William, he wants some planks tightening up.