I have carefully referenced the instructions of Lord Howe and Sir Home Popham and suggest that if the bloomers were for signalling purposes the hoist should have been made at the mizzenmast. I am now researching in Motorship to see where they should be employed if intended for the entrapment of wind for propulsion purposes.

I have carefully referenced the instructions of Lord Howe and Sir Home Popham

Jesus it's Friday, would you go out and have a pub lunch, a few scoops in the pm and go home about 7 and fall asleep in front of the TV. Popham is driving you demented.

Not a bit. I have had a decent lunch in a group of about 12 (I had pork). After which a dumped friend of mine and another went for a pint or two at the Market. I am just back and will not start my TV snooze for another three hours. The codes of the ancients no longer tax me, only the siting of bloomers for their optimum drawing potential remains unanswered.

It will depend if they are set as stuns'ls or spankers.

I fear I am no longer intellectually equipped to a suitable standard to partake in such verbal exchanges the verbosity of which is alas beyond the comprehension of a simple injuneer. The tone and thrust of the badanage is going directly above my bald pate and the feelings of inadequacy such actions therefore generate are more than I am able to absorb into my limited vocabulary. So I is going to bugger off to the injun room and read my anatomical magazines in peace.

Are they the ones with the nice pictures Chief, or the ones with the maps of the galaxies?

Think he may be into Bovine or Sheep rearing. He's just picked up a Magazine called Rustler Roy.

More Gynecological than Agricultural :big_tongue:

Always be careful as to how you mix and match with these two. A police acquaintance of mine described spending ages attempting to sneak up on a cow to collect samples with a pair of tweezers.

Yawn.....Stretch......Pharrrrrrt.

Quiet aboard!...must be a secret party going on somewhere....
Steward! Go see where everybody's hiding will you then whistle up a full English for me will you.

I'm in my funnel suite boss, Squeek and Eric are making sure ES is off his arse and polishing any knob within reach. :chuckle:

Just been water-skiing. Anyone want a go?

Sorry to tell you, old man, but I think they just used the magic pipe to empty the shit plant. Please take a good shower before turning up in the smoke-room.

Havana fumigation in progress David? Pipe full of St Bruno works well too.

I have just taken delivery of latest consignment (via London - being unable to afford chartering GD for the cargo).

I started the pipe with Erinmore (why I know not as that did take some determination, almost as foul as Uncle Teddy's Digger Flake). Then, until my first trip, it was Amphora. Condemned to Three Nuns or Balkan Sobranie I could not then taste any of the Amphora when I returned on board with an armful from Bottlek Stores first time back. Since, it has Balkan Sobranie (despite the formidable Chief Super, Eddie Bruce, accusing me some 10 years on of only doing to because my boss, Ryan O'Hare smoked it too). Not available now there are one or two very good imitations although I put on the pipe rarely these days. A single Havana of an evening is 'it'.

In an effort to stop a young friend (thirty somethings are now young to us?!) from smoking cigarettes I proposed that he might switch to a pipe and/or cigars (as Pa's plot to prevent me from ever taking them up). One size does not suit all. After a month he was smoking all three (later on he found hypnosis quite effective although I notice he still takes the odd fag).

Tried the pope back in early 60's some baccas were not for me though. I did however settle on a Dutch bacca, very aromatic it was, smelt a bit like burning toffee papers. Found after a while I was getting jaw pain so went back to Old Holborn roll ups.

Pardon me for my lack of edkushion as I is a 'umble injuneer but what has homosexuality got to do with smoking?:confused: although I do admit the aroma of burning rubber is quite the aphrodisiac given the right circumstances :jester:

I think the double negative probably degenderizes the vernacular vocabulary definition (the study of which might well go someway towards correcting your intellectual disability, not to mention your spelling, whilst leaving the slang no further mutilated) - unless on the other side of the pond. While he might consider the kindness in giving the old fart occasional chess or go 'odd', or even queer, his wife is of the conventional appropriately gendered variety.

As for the erectile propensity of burning rubber, does it work for electrical insulation as well? I fancy I might be able to equip prophylactic sheathing with microswitching or similar to use your plumbing as a pre-fire alarm sensor.

All we would then have to do is mute the circuit between being put on the shake and breakfast and in the vicinity of Emma's (Danny's?) bar. I suppose the Plasticos might be responsible for falsie alarm or two too but I am sure we could handle that (but not personally if you don't mind it might come off on the cigar cutter).

Yes Sir W. Amphora had a rich vanilla smell like Holland House.

(I am not sure all our friends on the adjacent Island to the West would approve of you stuffing the pope with combustibles and setting them on fire - it is not yet November after all).

Bloody ice-cream tobaccos. The twist all the farmers used to smoke, cut a bit off, rub it to fluff it up a bit, stick it in the pipe and when you light it, all the world goes sort of circular and you have to sit down for a bit. I would say I was never a big pipe smoker, but a friend used to carry a special "Cadgers" pipe, it could empty a pouch in one fell swoop.

I understand from Pa that that was called a 'prick' of tobacco and the pipe a borrowers pipe. When cadging a fill from No.2 son he would reuse the expression "Give us a chummy rub".

spoke to a guy who had a saxophone in his hand one day and said "bet that holds a load of Bacca" He looked at me gone out. Must have been an EU supporter, no humour at all.

Finally, a clue to the nationality of a lady I spoke to on a plane to Paris some moons ago.

As she carried her howling offspring down the aisle and towards the exit I suggested that it was not quite so bad that she should contemplate throwing it out. Her lack of humour suggests that she was, indeed, European.

you silver tongued devil, doubtless you could charm the knickers off a nun ;):applause:

:applause::applause:

A true gentleman would have offered to throw it off for her. Shame on you !

Got a lovely telegram this morning from all at SH wishing me a Happy Birthday. Much appreciated. Hope wife, children, grandchildren remember. Cheers lads.
( Now overcome with emotion ).

Quiet aboard at the moment. Seems to be just me and the plasticos. Think I will lock the door to my suite, Grab a bottle and watch a movie.

Oh. Happy Birthday ES. Bottles in my suite if you have a thirst young man.

Are you sure it was from us and not signed E II R?

All the best, take a bottle on my tab. Have as many more as you would wish for yourself.

My cup overfloweth, all I need now is for Tmac to invite me to the Beaten Docket or the Bellevue Arms for a hydraulic lunch. Isn't life grand.

You are on your own then. All the Googlable ones seem to do some aural torture called carryoakee. I never knew of the term beaten docket or that spent betting slips had a following of their own. Had I known you were an aficionado I would have kept all Pa's for you (I had to get rid of them, the builder said their weight was the cause of the ceiling sagging).

Lunch on me in the Shaftsbury Inn my friend..the Beaten Docket has changed ownership and is not worthy of your presence as you do have some standards left :D As for the Bellevue Arms, not too bad, a bit spit and sawdust. :paper:

It's your birthday so you are excused bilge cleaning for today and a nice pastie supper flown in especially for you from Long's chippy :thumb:

What more could any man want, and my good wishes.

I've stayed in the Europa and the overrated Fitzwilliam and sneaked around the corner for a fish supper. As for standards I have some and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Used to drink in the Shaftsbury Inn when we went to the dogs in Dunmore Stadium and lived in Floral Park. Prefer Brennans as I don't have to spend an age trying to get the grease from under my nails..
Chief you bilges are not as you would wish them

Birthday over for another year, thank God. I feel very uneasy when my shipmates are nice to me, a bit like Julius Caesar in Henry VIII Part 2.
Back to the daily grind, soougie the bilges, buff the golden rivet for guests and get mint sauce from the pantry for lunchtimes Mint Juleps. Ship Ahoy.

We pat you on the back to find the best place to stick the implement. My favourite is the old Green River knife, though other departments favour the screwdriver or the... Injuneers aren't allowed anything sharp.

Hoi we resemble that :bad_mad: injuneers don't need anything sharp a lump hammer or flogging spanner makes our point sufficiently well :p

Tmac's tongue is sharp enough for most of us down below. Beware.

Them stainless steel teeth of his scare the heck of me too!