Tom,
We might be an 'unconventional' bunch ('crew' even !) but I have no doubt that you can be assured of all of our best wishes.
You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Please come aboard at any time you feel able.
Geoff (YM) :wave:

The Commodore is hauling down his broad pennant? He has obviously made the admirals' list and has a flag instead. He can discharge the duty of commander in chief perfectly adequately ashore. True the expedition should have a commodore but not like those substantive ones now, just in loco Praefectus classis. As C-in-C has assigned the position to Farmer John, that is who it should be.

Let us make the point that the C-in-C has made admiral meritoriously and not as one famous admiral put it as a method of removing from the fleet those captains totally unsuited to command a King's ship. Like superintendents in a later era, I hazard.

Let us hope he will soon be fit enough to return to his flag ship. We will watch for his signals.

Best of luck shipmate, there is always a nice cup of steaming hot char for you in the injun room, Squeek might even throw in a tab nab or three. :eat_arrow:

Tom, keep on, we think of you a lot. I confirm I will take over as Commodore, always with the GD in my best sights.

I am much better on the bridge after your advice to write "P" and "S" on the back of my hands, get it right most of the time now.

I will always have a mug of something warm and intoxicating on standby on the bridge of a watch. Take what you want from this pleasant silliness and dob in any remark you wish to.

We will be slow steaming to Lerwick, arriving on the same day as the Election, end of works scheduled for 05.01.2020, sailing for the next job in consultation with Sir William after consulting with our agent.

I raise a toast to you future health and fortitude, Tom. I am sure everyone will join me.

This slow steaming is not good for water-skiing, anyone up for a game of Pooh-sticks? E-S can play the part of Eeyore, he is the most mournful.

Slow steaming ????? feck sake I was told we were finished with injuns days ago and have been adrift waiting for orders. :paper:

Typical nobody tells the bloody injuneers anything but when they want something done or fixed it's " coee Mr Injuneer do you know there is a leak in my cabin? "

Never mind son, you hum it and I'll sing it, in Welsh as well bach. :applause: That's how talented your injuneers is on this boat. :curtain_call:

Temptation, temptation, don't push me. Good breeding only goes so far.

Tmac, we drift in such an ordered and disciplined way I felt sure you were working away at things.

FJ the word you're looking for is Sang Froid. Tmac has buckets of it, a mighty man and a direct descendent of Finn McCool.

Engine room
 

Sen the new sign on the Engine room door!!

Tmac, have you a spare bucket of Sang Froid, E-S says you have buckets of it and your fishy extremities are well chilled.

He also said you can't fight and you're at least partly responsible for some destructive behaviour.

FJ I'll SELL you a bucket of that sanger fur stuff, injuneers are NOT noted for their generosity :bad_mad:

Can't fight is it, I fear young man that ES is luring you into a false sense of security. Have you ever known a native of Belfast who couldn't fight? God sake man this is Norn Iron, we fight each other just for the fun of it ;)

ES is just sore because I bate 'im with my cap :jester:

My dearly loved Belfast Granny wasn't given to fisticuffs with the neighbours, but she could give you a good scare if you got across her.

We all know you Injuneers are not given to open-handedness, but a fair price for a bucket of Sang Froid would be the filling of the Black Bush tank and a generous libation down the voice pipe. I intend to make black pudding with it, should be good.

E-S definitely said you wouldn't step to the line for a punch-up.

E-S said no such thing. Holy Mackrel I'm in enough trouble with T without you adding your tuppenceworth. Believe me Tmac is a street brawler and well able to slug it out with thugs, vagabonds and the feared riveting gangs in the yard.

Although suave, debonair and a fine man for the ladies T is not to be trifled with and you have signed my death warrant, Cheers FJ.
Back into the bilges for old E-S, with the pointy end of T's podging spanner up his jacksey. Cheers again.

I have lost the thread. Are you claiming E-S as your long lost Belfast Granny or that they merely met in the steamie for light fisty-cuffs whilst at laundry? I must say that losing a Great Aunt is no great negligence but losing a Granny is an offence at the top end of the scale.

Lost in the mists of the Dollytub and Copper, if E-S can tell me what was found in the underside of the bedside table after some 60 years, Granny, I thought you had gone.

Gum
 

Chewing gum? with dentures still attached?

Is Dollytub and Copper a new police drama on BBC 2?

It was a pilot episode some time ago but all the characters were a bit wet. Never really got up a good head of steam.

Nah a complete wash out, as a soap opera it lacked any real depth :big_tongue:

If its as shallow as some of our shipmates we're in mucho trouble. Full Astern Both.

Sounds like a bit of angst there ES, somebody stole the cherry off your bun? :(

Your rats ate the cherry and the pink fondant icing and the wee silver balls and the toasted almonds and the cakey body of the bun and to finish the aluminium foil cups. Still counting my fingers. Angst galore.

Stop moaning. They left the hundreds and thousands for you to lick of the table didn't they? (But miss the little black ones, they might have been left by the long-tailed fellas).

Shallow? Moi?

With this slow running I can't tell if we got full astern. Tmac, can you go and see if the roundy roundy bit at your purlieu is going roundy roundy or if it is going ydnuor ydnuor?

I never even knew we still had two of those twirly thingamabobs down the blunt end. I was using a big pump stuck on the end of a pipe to push us along. As far as I can recall we flogged the brass whirly things to a Gypsy type person to cover Sir Williams bar bill. :huh:

ydnour, ydnour is what comes from the washing machines. Eek squeeks (or is it Squeek that eeks?) every time the Port shaft makes one revolution. If he's tied to it face up one can hear it clearly by the bridge wing lookout on that side. When we get another cadet the revolvometer for the Stbd shaft will be repaired too.

Did you send a polite note to Tmac requesting the movement you mention? I am sure he would have complied if you signed it.

Hear that readers?...Peace and quiet runs through the ship. Must be getting close to that time of year again. No clanking of wrenches, no raised voices, no clinking of glasses......
DANG...forgot to remove my ear plugs!

Peace on earth and goodwill to all men was popular until Tmac got his Chiefs and Vmac began wearing a boilersuit.

Is this why we get sudden acceleration when we meet a shoal of Mackerel, followed by massive clouds of birds in our wake?

We do have some time to go before seasonal festivities, Sir William. Can we pick up a few coasting jobs as we move up the coasts, just some small tasks to pay for the heavy toll unwanted gifts always take. Mink lined knickers cost a fortune now, you know. Perhaps we should have a chat.

Morning Farmer John (commodore), Go for it! Just tell Dartskipper (Captain) which way to aim the ship.
Here is my list of Agents, use the Sat phone or ask Mr Varley nicely and he will radio it ashore for you.
Steward!..full English please, coffee pot and Rum bottle if you please.

"Ask nicely?". If you don't stand-us one do we not thirst?

You will, anyway, have to cross my palm with gold francs but seeing as it's business I will knock off the ship tax.

Anyone got any ports for a quick call? We will be picking up a consignment of Fisherperson's Acquaintance, a mild violet flavoured dragee. Dartskipper, can we aim for Eastbourne, we can collect from there, we are taking this to several ports on our way North.

Varley, thank you for your help with this, a crate of Cointreau is in your cabin. I know how you love that whiff of Sugar Beet.

Bugger, there goes the blood sugar again!

Anything consumed on the GD has no medical effect, that's stated in the articles. How could it be otherwise?

Well something last week gave me a dose of the sh1ts.

Try Bisto, it browns and thickens all in one. :flowers:

Ah ES!! now THAT explains why you were moving so quickly around the injun room. I had, wrongly it appears, assumed you had forgotten the parable of the old bull and the young bull :smoking:

Isn't it usually brown already? Cornflower or arrowroot would be less invasive. Making it browner as well might result in the stool being of a Robertson's Gollihue and causing Sister some alarm.

It's only brown when GD2 runs out of Guinness.

Did you eat something that week? That can cause it.

Scatalogical themes need to have some element of entertainment, at least try to do this and I don't mean just go through the motions.