Emporium? Can he actually play the damned thing?

In Belfast the definition of a gentleman is one that can play the emporium but doesn't.
Our friend, and gentleman, only plays his on the Twelfth of July. Bless him, the wee pet.

I have arranged a tour of the Palmera rum factory with a follow up "tasting" at the Aruba Flavour Store"

This is just one of their products which might arouse your interest, libido, and hopes:

Why do we need a lilo, my cabin has a water bed.

Water? Now that Tmac has finally converted all the cooling media to alcohol it must be the only reserve of water we have, bar the icemaker, of course (and I am working on getting that cold enough to freeze gripewater).

Only a Lambeg Drum dear boy and only on the 12th....NOT August.... we don't shoot Grouse in Norn Iron..we have numerous other targets :big_tongue:

and the odd (very odd) wedding and Bar Mitzvas :yawn:

OK I give in, the a/c and plumbing have been returned to normal service. It is now safe to use the heads again so kindly remove the thunder box from above the injun room fiddley. Squeek and Eric no longer find it funny.

On a more serious note I see my funnel suite still awaits the finishing coat, may I suggest a liberal application of Tartan paint, McDonald to be precise, would restore harmony once again and stop me battering the bejasus out of the lot 'o ye. :bad_mad:

Finally as a token of my good will, you will find chilled water fountains and ice makers installed in your cabins as well as a personalised Gripitini chiller for a certain individual :wink:

Well Tmac mucho grazio, as they say in these here parts, for the Personalised Gripitini Chiller in my cabino. There's no point in being the Chief if you can't drift the odd wee cooler into your Oppo's day room.
The entire Injun Department is invited for the baptism of the cooler at sundown.
Henceforth today will be known as "Woodward Day", and not a Governor or Governess on board.

I'll see if ours will join us for a tipple. I don't think we should frighten him with loud discordant noises so please refrain from emporium and drum practice until he goes.

(If Woodward day were to be a charitable event then he is almost obliged to turn up).

I feel the blue seas calling, I fancy a little recreational swimming, I am going to take the motor lifeboat (old style) for a perambulatory pic-nic somewhere pleasant, who cares to join me? I am packing ship's biscuit and some very tasty water so it should be good. The old dipping lug sail has one patch the size and colour of a peachy ladies bloomers, so all the good old jokes can be wheeled out. I think a break away from the fleshpots of the port would do us all good.

Water? Are we taking E-S with his bunk or just the bunk?

.Ah! The good old dipping lug. It was always my job to dip the damned thing when we were tacking and it always turned out to be the most recalcitrant invention on God's green earth.

I'm all for coming along - will try to think of some of the good old jokes. I'll also bring along something to put in the water to make sure it is sterile. :pint:

I doubt anything from E-S's bunk could ever be sterile. Mulling irons are our only hope.

Might add a bit of "jaune sais pas" to the Gripetinis, 'though.

(Oh, ho. Le joke Francaise n'est pas?)

There'll be less of the, jaune sais pas, after Brexit. We'll drink Rickard instead.
Must stop eating chips in the bunk, my cabin attendant is complaining. BillyBoy can you not find a proper job for V?

Happy to have a group along. Tom, don't worry, the water is cunningly sterilised with some high proof spirit ( a selection is with us). In the same way, our comestibles are augmented with some smackerels.

Due to your concern, the dipping lug has been converted to a standing lug and even that is all modern materials (wood and canvas).

It's a pity ES can't come with us, rolling in his chip fat sodden bunk, shouting for a steward when they have blacked him and drinking from the decanted remains of his last docking bottle, it is a shame, we could enjoy his company if only he would get into the realms of reality.

Ho for the open water, I have packed a load of barbecue needfuls (grill, charcoal etc.). We should get some excellent fish. Good days.

A bloke from Manchester took a trip to Paris. He needed to pee so he went into one of those circular metal street urinal shelters. He found himself standing next to a Frenchman and at the same time saw a fly on the wall. In order to impress the Frenchman he pointed to the fly and said "Ah! Le mouche" The Frenchman shook his head and said "Non, c'est la mouche --- it is feminine!" The bloke from Manchester looked very closely at the fly and said "Boy - You've got good eyesight!" :wave:

Wow! Way to look after things. But one other thing -- I trust you did a recent cement wash on the inside of the emergency water tank.??

Oh! To hell with the water. :pint:

Damn me, you're right. 'La joke Francaise' it is.

Jaunt lacks Je Ne Se Quai, I think ES will remain on board. I will eat a poke of chips, keep my belly button full of vinegar and sip a cold Chablis. I will watch the absorbing "Triangle" on Sky catch-up. Bliss.
Lard, dripping or healthy sunflower oil, decisions on a Sunday, I think not.

I had an order in for a new rig for our jaunt. This is what we have been issued, bit of help from the chippy and an old hatch tarp, some dunnage and some whammy, we will be ready to go. Are we down-hearted? are we hell.

Come on, let's get to work.

He is much more skilled on the encomium, though I believe after an over long session on it he rubs himself down with some panegyric and wraps it up in some eulogy.

Oh the joys of keeping a Thesaurus, they are such a rewarding animal.

Weren't dinosaurs technically reptiles? :huh:

Please refer all technical things to the Injuneer Department.


Please refer all dinosaur things to the Dick Department.

Please, dear ES, tell us about the dinosaurs.