I am taking notes, you live and learn.

I have spent two days rodding drains and opening the portals to the nether regions. I am absolutely knackered, a steam pipe in the right place would be good. I even had to break a date with the sheep I know so well, but I am sure they will forgive me.

Be more care full when you are rodding drains FJ. I have a bruised stern gland now. Think I will stand for a while.

The Drains you were rodding wouldn't happen to be Fred Drains, if so he was in my class at school. His bigger brother Toby Drains was the bass player with the Swinging Blue Jeans.

I've been trying since 1958, when I first heard that joke.
It was one of Frank Carsons best, during his apprenticeship doing Clubs and Orange Halls. For a fiver.

Drains, bloody drains. It's enough to make a fellow run away to sea. Day three, still plenty of Sh1t.

Should we have one of these aboard the GD? :yawn:

There doesn't seem to be a bar onboard. Otherwise she looks a little twee but perhaps the plasticos might find it attractive when cruising.

The tender that we have would tow that thing up to about 300ft altitude.

Something with a bit of a snarl about it is wanted, I think. Let's call it a Gentleman's boat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVDCFKc0TLU

We used to paddle these around the boating lake at Bellvue, if we did it right the girls got all wet :wink:

Is this in the same way that every male imagines that a handbrake turn makes all the girls gasp and long for your attentions, while the girls think you are a fool?

Mind you, the GD in a handbrake turn would make anyone piddle themselves.

You note I didn't say "PISS", it's naughty.

Waving of large pocket handkerchiefs, wearing flip-flops ashore and rubber underwear when afloat do not suggest Gentlemen to me FJ. 'Fast' remains something good in Religion but rather the reverse 'in the city'.

Will Norton 360 protect me from Corona? The frigging wedges of lime gives the old ulster a bit of gip.

Is a corona discharge or coronal mass ejection part of this game or am I being alarmist? And if not which end is implicated?

Never in the history of epidemiology has it been recorded that anyone who drinks Black Bush has caught Corona Covid-19 or indeed Covid-1 to 18. This is very good news and deserves a wee pour-out.

Aye nothing like relaxing with a nice Black Bush of an evening, and the whiskey isn't bad either :supercool:

Bought, well acquired one of those Alexa thingamabobs as apparently they know the answer to everything so I thought I'd try it out. "Alexa what do you get if you cross a vagina with an encyclopedia?" back came the answer "A c*** that knows everything" seems they are not so useless after all :smoking:

Leave Miss Bassey out of this discussion.

what Tiger Lil's disgusting?

We are not in self-isolation here yet. I see that the grabber crane at Bridlington arcade is now loaded with toilet rolls, I understand that business is brisk.

I live about 20 mins from Tagum City. they went to code red yesterday. Dont go out much at all anyways these days. too busy in my little workshop. Take Wifey to church on a Sunday and grab a bit of grocery on the way home.

Hmmm no one up here on the bridge either. Think I will ring down FWE and drop the hook thingy. everyone seems to be in self isolation. I'll run up a yellow flag and we will stay here till people feel better.

FJ thinks self-isolation has a sexual element to it, Vmax thinks it has something to do with the Bustie Breakers and Tmax is concentrating on the word Self (A H&W failing).
Me; I've locked myself into my stateroom with a good book, a packet of rice and pasta and a toilet roll. BTW what does one do with this pasta stuff?
Stand By for heavy rolling, wash your hands and no snogging with Sweaty Betty.

Whatever one is doing with a Bustie one should have clean hands.

Pasta? After boiling (for the time given on the label which also informs you it was not made in Italy and therefore need not have been part of your buy-panic) one wraps it between two sheets of much recycled quilted forest product. Do not assume that this becomes a self wiping bowel-grip snack, reserve some of the paper for the morning.

I thought Jamie Oliver said you could eat it. Does he speak English?

Buck-up shipmates, I'm going to slip a pizza under your door. I'm experimenting with red wine in zip lock bags but wine tight integrity, as yet, alludes me. Hic.

There is no gap. Fluawei can limbo.

(You sound quite tight to me).

Of course there is a gap, the bloody ship was built on the Tyne. Now had it have been built in Belfast only flat breads and chapatti's could be slid under.
So me oul segotia, will I send up a Margaritta or an Isobella?

I am tight, a lot tighter than a zip-lock bag.

I did hear you were tighter than Aberdeen on a flag day.....LOL

You'll never get any part of the Lady Isabella under my door, Jerry built or otherwise. She's Victorian engineered and fettled.

I know your cabin is palatial and spacious but fitting a 72 foot wheel in it is out of the question. It's the Margaritta for you my lad.
PS, thanks for the education.

I am led to believe that Varley has been in secret communication with the Superintendent ashore regarding the ongoing crisis and effective countermeasures. My spy advises the the GD will be STUFT within the next day or two for use as a CCCC (go on work that out:chuckle:) for Boris or as I prefer to refer to him by his native American indian name "Walking Eagle" which translates as "big fat bird so full of shit it can't fly" :thumb:

So there we have it lads, our future is assured on this long term charter provided nobody coughs, farts or sneezes :chuckle:

CCCC
Cantrell and Cochrane Cordial Carrier. (Well they have OJ tankers in Ijsselhaven).

Rest easy. I thought the inclusion of cordial meant non-alcoholic. The interweb suggests it is just another purveyor of bothiebath abuse juice. Probably lifts paint like the others.

Coronovirus Case Coffin Carrier?

Coronavirus Cough Control Centre (NOT as good as David's I admit)

BBC news reports Lord V arrested for failing to Self-Isolate. Punishment will be 3 months in jail or 6 of the best.

Sadly we birch no more. He's probably safer inside than being at the mercy of an angry bogrolleless mob baying for pasta and threatened with pub closure. (We now have two confirmed cases - both acquired off Island it is thought. We are still only advised to stay away from hospitality but this is not yet mandated).

(Have just read we have a new acronym over here. PIPs - Potentially Infected People. Pip, pip).

Now, there is a commercial opening, a whole industry could be developed.

13 cases today and locked down. The nine-tailed cat not the birch.

Wine Cellar chaps tell me that alcohol is not being classed as essential WRT freight - what hell has this speck of genetic material wrought?

Tell your Wine Cellar chaps that alcohol is not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that.
Do you have your own Sommelier in Chateau V?