made an emergency run ashore to Tesco for vital injuneering supplies, beer and crisps, they said all you need is a mask and gloves but the feckers lied. Everybody else had clothes on and I am now barred from Tesco for life.

Of course.

(But I keep the key!)

Shirley the mask was well big enough to cover all other wee bits and pieces. You're bragging again, just like your stories about the Titanic and Esso Ulidia. Tesco's indeed, what's wrong with M&S? You are a cheapskate and in danger of giving us all a bad name.

Surely Ulidia was Groucho's (and it was Hesperus not Titanic).

We don't care.

anyone getting cabin fever yet?

Of course. It will only go away when we get MIJMA from Port State.

MIJMA? Would that be a Code 17?

It is/was in the international code of signals for the asking and granting of pratique. An obscure document even in my day and neither the old man (the youngest deck officer incidentally) nor I had a clue when the Yugoslavian authorities at Koper answered his plain language request for free pratique (Tilapa, 1972). However I now do have a couple of copies in different date and national editions.

(This isolation could easily have caused me to code 17 last night. I must be more careful. More than one bottle of port makes one a bit covid-19ish in the AM. Not to mention falling down stairish).

ah yes the dreaded Vino Collapso gets us all in the end Mr Varley. Mind you, if you stick to the better vintages its not so bad.
It just so happens I have a few bottles of very rare vintage Port left if you would care for one later. some half decent cigars too if memory serves me right

Your memory does not serve you well. You know in your heart of hearts that The Hon V does not do "Half Decent", are you proposing he puffs on a King Edward? Surely not.
There are others on this Fine Lady who would smoke a Woodbine if it was rolled on the thigh of a nubile Cuban woman, but not V, he is made of sterner stuff. Get a couple of Montecristo No 2's in the Bond.

R&J Petit Royale or Partagas D No.6 for preference. I did know two people that thought King Eddie's were good. I have told Higgins to admit them only through the tradesman's entrance.

I do appreciate a vintage from our oldest ally however I really prefer it aged in wood so keep the expensive stuff for yourself and leave me the Tawny.

It is rightfully said that a dedicated alcoholic drinks cheap port and expensive brandy (poteen only in Hibernian coffee or when the fire is difficult to light).

I feel it is a shame that small tobacconists shops have disappeared from the streets. The little trays of different tobaccos were as redolent of history as the shipping forecast. You could call into a shop like this and buy a really cheap pipe to smoke tea in. The worst think I ever smoked was a twig of elder drilled down the middle, the rim dipped in oil and lit. Why do we regard such things as being the good old days?

Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.

ha ha I like that!

I think there is a BWH version of that hoary old joke.

getting bored, Must be a port somewhere that will allow us to dock for the duration of this virus. Not that I am anxious to catch it but bunkers are starting to get low and provisions are not looking too good either.

Where's your bulldog attitude, sulking in your cabin ist verboten, dismal Jimmies will have their testicles greased and serve them right.

We are playing deck quoits and the admirable Mr V is trying to lay carpet on the poop deck and make a croquet lawn although the green deck paint is slow drying. Tmax is labouring down below making a set of hoops but methinks he has spent too long in the Drawing Office.

I regard morale as high on this ship.
I regard morals as high also due to lack of opportunity.

1.5 metres is so near yet soooofar

Sir William, don't worry, we are getting replenished in these difficult times by the same fashion that we get our Alcoholic stores. I suggest that, in the old tradition of Privateers, we locate a quiet beach somewhere where we can careen the ship, I am sure the old dear would love to have her bottom scraped, and we can straighten out the lumps where we had that tricky game of ship football.

A couple of weeks in a lean-to on the sandy beach, a little physical work and some careful seamanship, a little social to and fro with some local ladies, and we will be better able to assess the situation.

Not sure we need any more alcoholics. Surely we've well flattened that particular curve. Any joining now must surely be amateurs.

The lawn's just about there but mallets (bats) are likely difficult to get. Plenty of balls about but we really need phucks. Tmac's hoops are just fine.

Alkiefrolics in abundance Mr Varley. Good we still have a stock of Dom's white gloss,Red boot topping,and green deck paint left.

Glad to be of service young man, just make sure you strike the balls dead centre otherwise unexpected deviation may be experienced along with watery eyes :big_tongue:

Apparently I went ashore the other day and inadvertently found myself incarcerated in the local Gulag. Boredom is quite a problem however I have managed to complete five books in a week which considering the amount of colouring in required is quite and achievement even if I say it myself. Hopefully I will soon be released from my unforeseen incarceration, the Borscht soup is playing havoc with my digestion however I can now pass wind to the tune of "we'll meet again" in C minor. :balloon:

I will complete my injuneering log entry just as soon as I can obtain another piece of toilet roll and a suitable writing implement. The present stylus is rather soft and only writes in a most unpleasant manner.

Dosvedanya comrades :yawn:

Is this a disease of the lungs or a disease of the brain?
Mr Varley, be a good chap and cut along to WH Smith's and get Tmax another box of Caran D'Ache Luminance to colour in his memoirs.
Belay that last order, BillyBoy recommends a small box of Crayola.

Crayola sounds less expensive. I will get on to Amazon as colouring materials do not count as essentials. I would have thought his memoirs could do with just a dash of whitewash to avoid the obscene publications act.

Capital idea. Whitewash is something we in Northern Ireland are quite familiar and comfortable with. A substance close to our hearts and one Tmax has used liberally on newbuilds and not only in the FW Tanks.

white gloss for me please...Oh, errrrrm wash eh....cancel that then.

Limewashing in the tanks brings back a rather painful and embarrassing memory. On conducting a tank inspection one day I chanced to slip off the ladder and slid base over apex down into the tank. Thankfully not a deep tank but a fresh water one. I emerged from the tank absolutely soaked in wash and had to trundle my way across the deck, off the ship and back up the very long Queens Road dripping white droplets all the way accompanied by much raucous laughter from the assembled multitudes :very_sad::very_sad::very_sad:

So thanks ES, I owe you one for that :really_mad:

Just try to be nicer to me.

whats that?...Tmac dripping white stuff!...well been a long time since he had a run ashore poor chp. always busy below see.

BB always seeing the good in people.

Oh yes I have a kind heart indeed. care for a wee dram while you are up here?

Aye, a dram will make you see the best in the Devil himself.

(not that E-S is any sort of Devil, not when one is off-watch anyway).

There is The Devil who is a right bastard and The Divil who is full of crack and a tip-top drinking companion.
I know which one I would choose.

Probably the horney one :jester:

The one with the crack.

My heart, mind and body are pure. It's blooming awful.

Yes, being the son of a vicar does have its drawbacks Farmer John.

Marianne Faithful was the son of a vicar and she enjoyed herself.

Obviously not with either of them!