I prefer a good Vat 69 myself, well except for when I get some hair stuck between my teeth.

Gentlemen normally take them out and put them in a glass on the bedside locker. Be nice, T.

Don't know the meaning of the word lad, you NEVER hear the word NICE and INJUNEER in the same sentence :thumb:

Tip from a professional, ALWAYS keep the teeth in, much better to nibble than suck :thumb:

Shipmates Good News..... Tmax has invited us down to the Changing Room for drinks and nibbles at, at sex, which is 18.00 hrs on the H&W clock. On past performance it could descend into a bit of a swarry so be sure to get an Access All Areas badge.

Tmax. Are we talking of heat engines or do we just expect hot stuff? With your grasp of efficiency I expect Tmin would be too hot!

(And might I add your advice about my teeth and the bedside locker - that porcelain there is not meant as a denture quencher, can't you tell by its size?)

Varley dear lad, not to worry the latent heat from the injuns is ducted up the big pole thingie at the front with the lights on it, to keep the crow warm in its nest and to defrost the lights.

All you require is a super sized tub of Vaseline and the world is your lobster. Please don't confuse that with a tub of Chockfast otherwise you might be in for a sticky end.

I've seen you shimmy Chief and while you can still do that I'll keep the Chockfast red-pencilled.

I may have misunderstood E-S. The porcelain container would be OK for keeping one's hair in I suppose but it would then not only look ridiculous in the morning but might not smell too good either.

And another thing! Vaseline is no good for crabs. Not unless you set it on fire after application.

Did you hear about the couple who didn't know the difference between Vaseline and putty?
All their windows fell out.

The stuffs no good in place of puttee either - the boots fall off.

And Ypres mud will get into the turn-ups in your trousers.

Steward!... set up the pool bar please. it my birthday. drinks all round on my tab if you please.

Best wishes for your birthday BB.
I'll just have a coffee (and three Drambuies to go with it, please, seeing as you are paying ).
Geoff (YM) :jester::wave:

Happy Birthday Boss, I trust the memsahib has a treat in store for you but failing that a libation or three can be had in the injun room. Admittance gained upon receipt of the secret knock :supercool:

Sir W. Have as many more of them as you yourself can tolerate. Here I have festively wrapped this big tub of Vaseline, I've only used a teeny bit.

Ignore Tmac, that secret knock is coming from the crankcase.

DON'T USE THE VASELINE It's a trap, Varley put sand in it :eek::eek::eek:

Hoi, my injuns don't knock they humm gently like a satisfied cat :thumb:

As Tmax and myself often say to one another, it's better to hear it than smell it. And we are unanimous on that.
Almost unanimous.
Mostly unanimous.
In fact blood has been spilt during discussions.
But we settled things with an evening in Hatfield House.

Sir William, have a good day, I am lifting a glass to you. A pint mug of Champagne half and half with Guinness is most acceptable for a birthday tipple.

For the mathematically challenged, that makes 2 pints or a quart.

Rounded up to half a gallon.

Why stop at that? Let's make it a full Gallon.

Aye those were the days :shock::jester::jester:

A full galleon? Have you checked the stability booklet? All things considered things go better when it's us that's full and the old tub has some ullages about her.

I have checked the stability booklet, it is a photo of the GD with "TOP" and "BOTTOM" clearly marked and one of Tmac's drawings of a raygun in the margin. I aim to follow this assiduously.

And a pencil drawing of a drumkit with Them on the bass.

Chief Plastico tells me that what you have there is a sign from their 'bibliotheque erotique' (otherwise pornie's bookshelf). He'd like you to put it back.

(I'll see if I can find a plug for the Lodicator-I hope no one has been scribbling on the instructions for that!)

Stability Booklet, ha-ha. When were we last loaded to our marks? The Load Line Disc is suffering from drought and Mr. McGregor himself couldn't open the hatches. A firkin of beer and a baron of beef a cargo doesn't make, Me Hearties.

Shows how little attention you pay to my instructions....:( The hatch covers are Kaverner :smoking:

He is a bit of a Lad, but never short of something daft to say.

(Ruffles ES's wiry curls and laughs in an acid sort of way). Curls on head, before anyone starts.

I don't know about you but I was down to my marks last night after finishing the lamb's gravy. Isn't that what they mean by taking a stiff one?

Why do we need a brief, and an expensive one at that, to open the bloody hatches?

Well Herr Kaverner couldn't open the hatches. But the good news is that FJ has found V's Stability Booklet and it consists of a single page. This information rich page tells us he will develop an angle of loll after 4 pints and will turn turtle if topped-off with fortified wine, navy rum or Hydroxychloroquine with a jorum of Gordons in it. Smit Tak righted him the last time but FJ, BB and Command will be slow to sign another LOF after the industrial quantities of keekh that fell on them.

You seem to have found an old school report. I was referring to GD's Stability Booklet not the lower sixth laboratory records of my personal inclining experiments.

I have an old school report, written in red ink at the bottom it says "John is Incredibly stubborn", then the pen tears the paper a little in the signature. Incredibly is underlined three times.

written on mine it said (upon leaving school) Whoever gets this boy to work for them will be very lucky. That was nice eh?
The following morning I sailed as deck boy on a pleasure boat out of Newhaven to various destinations along the south coast (piers between Hastings and Shanklin)

One report reported that the Serang would have trouble making the grade on deck but could blossom in the engine room or as a Marconi Sahib.
As an old head on young shoulders I plumped for the Black Gang.
Deck indeed.

"Whoever gets this boy to work for them will be very lucky"

You could take that two ways I suppose.

My skool repert said "This boy should go far, the further the better" and I made it all the way to Australia :jester:

Apparently that is what the injuneer said to the greaser :smoking:

Botany Bay one presumes.
Botany Bay to Helens Bay, the boy's done well.

Tannoy! attention!...there is a land mass off our starboard bow and according to this map thingy up here, at the end of the pencil line there is no land. Someone come up and take a look. Also the TV thing in the corner is playing up. no picture just a line going round and round..

Billy there's a technical term for your dilemma; LOST.
Engines to STOP.
SLOW ASTERN.
All way off ship, ring STOP.

Now put on a very concerned look and interview the navigator, without coffee, and scratch hole. Apologise to the engine room for waking them up. Borrow FJ's Tom-Tom and find out where we are, if there's a Little Chef or McDonalds anywhere near we can drop the Jolly-Boat and head off for a hearty breakfast.