There are a lot of smutty comments that could be made about that picture! Thankfully, I consider them all below my station!

Snigger, chuckle!
Dave

Some years ago when I lived near Spalding, our local barber had a sign hanging up in his shop.

"Keen angler, recently widowed, would like to meet nice lady angler with a boat.

Please send picture of the boat."

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a
cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some
deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said
'nothing'.

The reason I said 'nothing' instead of saying 'just thinking' is
because she then would have asked 'about what?'.

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep
thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other
questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more
painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a
guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they
"know"?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking,
I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and
even though I obviously couldn't really "know", here is the reason for my
conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might
be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say "You know, I think I
would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap in
that hammock.

John you have underestimated the power of hormones.
As a boy with two sisters and later a married man with a wife and daughter every house I lived in ran on hormones and they were always stacked against me.

There is a class of men who, for whatever reason, pay ladies to kick them where it hurts and also whip them on the buttocks. Perhaps they are all public schoolboys. In my school you would get a kick in the arse or bollix if you missed a penalty or let in a soft goal, that made men of us.

Sort of like, y'know, this?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aww4HT5g7ig



American comedian Buddy Hackett on the Johnny Carson Show tells some jokes about farmers.

(Stick with them until the end!)

"On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies"
Albert Einstein
:p

Oh! How disappointed E-S would have been in a proper school. However, on the punishment for failure at games I could recommend a light spray of the genitals with Right Guard. Sometimes this was done even without said failure on the field as a competition in its own right.

I was a day pupil at a boarding school for 7 years and I always thought it was a very strange and somewhat unhealthy upbringing.
One always wondered what the motivation of the parents really was.

Because they wanted a life? Anyway they had to put up with us in holidays. Nanny till 7. School till 18 (17 if really thick), when apparently we became adults.

Dayboy? We had one of those at St.Wilfrid's. He was seen by a parent taking their boarding child out (usually to Brighton or Drusilla's zoo near in Alfriston and perhaps followed by tea at the Lobster Pot in Seaford before returning). He was on a bicycle (also rarely allowed). Parent asks child "If day boy why not at home on a Saturday/Sunday?". Answer "Oh, he gets lonely without the company".

I am told now that Reed's has about 700 with only 50 or so borders. In my day it was a little less than 400 nearly all boarding.

Shipmates I can still remember
The way things were back then
In spite of all the hard times
We’d do it all again.

To hear the crusty Wurzels
And Adge Cutler sing
Makes us proud to be in Cornwall
Where Bob Clay is still the king.


Apologies to Mick Jagger and Waylon Jennings.

Something slightly topical…

Fast jet pilot on holiday….

It's Rory Underwood.

If you ever feel like your job is pointless and a waste of time, just think; somebody somewhere is fitting an indicator to a new BMW. :smoking:

I thought that particular mantle was now held by the Audi.
As a driver of an elderly BMW I have to admit that it tends to confuse people when I indicate, particularly on roundabouts, and worse, shock horror, when I let traffic join in front of me.

An indicator in Mexico is an invitation to the car in the outer lane to accelerate and block you from changing lanes! I still use it, having learned to drive correctly, but then again, my SUV wins against most other, common, vehicles.

Rgds.
Dave

I'm guessing what you gents call an indicator is what we Yanks call a turn signal.

Its a little orange arrow that pops out of the B/C Post. On the rhs (Stbd) if you intend turning right and lhs (Port) etc.
It is believed this is safer than sticking your arm out the window. 1959 sedans have orange lights that flash but it is thought these will not catch on.

Or you could always use your whip to indicate your intentions, as shown in the earlier editions of the Highway Code.

The Highway Code is printed for females, Ladies in the Home Counties, Women in the rest of GB and Wemen in East Antrim.
Men instinctively know how to drive and don't appreciate a totalitarian state telling them how to take the third exit on a roundabout.

I remember passing a driver of the female variety on the motorway some years ago. I had to accelerate hard to pass her as she must have been doing at least 85 mph in the middle lane. I glanced in her direction and was so horrified to see that she was applying lipstick and eyeshadow while looking in the mirror behind her sun visor, that I spilt my hot coffee all over my trousers.

How right they were.

In Germany they were known as Mox-Nix Sticks indicators by the American soldiers as no matter what the German driver signaled he always went the opposite way.

Mox-Nix meant eiitherway. Makes No difference.

Origin & history
An alteration of German macht nichts ("doesn't matter") that originated among American soldiers stationed in Germany after World War II.

But trafficators, as they were called, did ‘catch on’ - they caught on clothing of people walking past, they caught on any bush or shrub that jumped out at you, they caught on the housing so that you had to bang the pillar to get them out.

And talking of car lights, thank the Lord for LED's! No more changing the pesky bulbs!