Now that we are CFCP* propulsion I think that it might be a good idea albeit at some risk as I believe that he is into winding things up. We must keep up with technology. Isn't he a Leckie of some sort? If so, there are some slush lamps down here that could perhaps be replaced with electricity.

* Carbon free clockwork power! Those who know nothing often use acronyms to impress those who know even less.

Standing by leaning on my shovel waiting for the spring to break, run down, or a fuse to blow .... We might blow a tube but we never get out of phase.

But you will still need a means of conveying the wishes of the pilot, however loosely one intends to honour them. FWE - Finished With Escapement. STB - Spring Tight Below. Date drive geared to shaft. Big hand geared to shaft. Little hand geared to shaft. Teeny, weenie hand geared to shaft. Etc.

A whole new slang. "You've one more tick-tock left for the prop or a strike on the fog gong"!

I have no problem with tick-tockery. It is spring and weight driven tick-tockery that requires thumbs nimbler than mine (and fingers less thumblike). The principles of Dr. Hipp and Frank Hope-Jones can be applied to platform escapements and so bring the considerable engineering advantages of electricity to clockworkery (Many to be seen at Dr. Nye's fabulous 'Clockworks Gallery' * in West Norwood).

Var, however should not be used by any but the shamans of the 'J' notation. We do not like Vars because they are impossible to understand and difficult to accept and require us to use more copper than does same-sex electricity. Clockworkery would do away with them but that, too, is impractical as distribution of useful clockworkery would be hopelessly inefficient (although with the help of Mr. Hope-Jones can be done electrically or, as plumbers know it, "magically").

* - Wot can be googled.

How does this clockwork thingy deal with 3rd and 5th harmonics?
Tmax should have control of the big key, he spends most of his working day winding me up.

Typical plumbers. Worried about things in synchronism rather than out.

With weight driven, pendulumularly governed clockworkery there is a potential synchronistic problem, the 'Thursday syndrome' or 'Thursday kerfuffle'. It can be avoided by simply cutting Thursdays out of the calendar. It would not trouble a maritime ME (Motive Escapement) as Mr. Harrison eliminated both weights and pendulums from seagoing clockworkery (why they didn't follow this ashore and avoid buggering up the calendar I don't know).

Its Pope Gregory's fault, he was a hoor for the pendolino.

Right, you , moany lot. I am sorry I have been quiet and ineffective for so long, I have just got home after a fairly long session in hospital that happened very quickly. I will have to retire to a steamer chair on some sunny corner of the GD. I have just been diagnosed with bowel cancer, and we are still poking the thing with a stick to see what it really looks like. I can't make any major commitment to anything much right now, I do reserve the right to be rude to one and all and also to say that you all mean quite a bit to me.

As to current position, we were somewhere of the Caribbean.

Upwards and onwards!

No change there.

welcome back aboard Farmer John. sorry to hear your diagnosis. I have the best steamer chair set up on the boat deck complete with a side table and a large G&&T with ice and a slice ready for you.

Welcome back FJ. Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Take care.
YM

Nasty news. Seems to be a master Mariners complaint - perhaps using the connective fundament for talking it instead of passing it could be considered causative.

Now, I suppose, I have to spend every working afternoon on the telephone to distant navigating types on diverse topics. Especially those not concerned with ship management and favouring the smoking of tobacco (in Cuban or pipeborn formats) - other leaves also recommended (especially for the stricken in the vitals).

Master Mariner? in reality I was never more than a Middy back when BF still called them Midshipmen. My progress to Commodore was, of course, well earned but perhaps a bit on the notional side. I never went for the uniform.

[QUOTE=I do reserve the right to be rude to one and all and also to say that you all mean quite a bit to me.

[/QUOTE]

What you mean is we all owe you money ;) Very sorry to hear your news, stay strong mate but your wee cabin chair is ready and waiting on the sun deck. (the bit at the back with the glass roof)

P.S. if any instruction in the use of rude words is required the injuneering crew are at your disposal. ES actually expanded my vocabulary in profanity when I accidentally dropped my flogging spanner on his head :shock::shock:

I require no instruction in the use of rude words, working on the land must be where many of the earthier terms come from, then we started building ships and it all developed.

Chair on the sun deck sounds most acceptable.

I can see the Master's report now:

"This Middy has behaved himself to a level of self satisfaction that can entertain no doubt that he will inevitably achieve navigational Mastery. More vegetables, however, will improve his conversation, in quantity if not quality or direction".

I was very lucky, six inches to the left and he could have hit me on the shoulder.

Just as well.
We wouldn't want you to have a chip on your shoulder.

No. A chip off the old block is one thing. A chip off the old bloke is quite another.

he had his Frank Spencer beret on, how could I resist? :chuckle::chuckle:

Wearing a black beret in Belfast is always asking for a reaction; exothermic, endothermic or even incandescent.
Dressing for the Bottom Plates 101, Learned.

It didn't help that you also had a small bulls-eye painted on it.

I'll know better next time. No RAF roundel on my headgear. What a Silly Billy I am. (No pun).

Gerry sends his regards, he was never in the Injun Room by the way, he only pretends to be an injuneer. :chuckle:

FJ if you want to retain command may I suggest you move your deck chair to the Wheelhouse. Vmin has invited on board a motor mechanic friend of his, a Mr Frank Hope-Jones, who is tampering with the innards of the ECDIS, the Radar and the Galley Clock..
Cook is flustered, butter eggs for dinner and a mutton chop for breakfast? Take control and frogmarch this imposter down the gangway, and his sponsor as well, if at all possible.

Only a plumber would think the electric map machine could be tended by a motor mechanic (especially one whose co-contraption with a railway engineer called Shortt engineered a timepiece that proved the astronomers' suspicions that Mother earth was not a good timekeeper, well - 'Mother' how could she be)

Rather appropriately this relied on the hit or miss principle. More, I am afraid, hit in the case of ECDIS. Despite much generic and specific STCW directed training.

You are probably right. It will work better if operated from a steamer chair (now he'll be off worrying if it uses too much water and YM how much extra shoveling he'll have to do).

Wrong again Mr V. Steamer Chairs are not plumbed into the desuperheated main but a nice tartan rug is supplied in-lieu. It also comes with a retired major, his blue rinse wife and an effeminate steward with a tray of beef-tea.
This is the sort of cutting edge technology we expect from Cunard.

At Stanmore (an ex-'fever hospital' where Pa was confined for a while in the 50s) the beds were still plumbed in to the heating system. If FJ is to be confined to the bridge I think you should consider, at the very least, a bleed from the whistle supply to keep him warm (Conoco Europe had funnel locker turned into a 'sauna' by this cunning modification). A lithe steward may not be enough to keep him warm on a cold night (Mrs Major will surely be unavailable on bridge nights).

Stanmore?...that the town with no chairs?

Been busy in the Bosuns store, doing some Carpentry.
Are we there yet FJ?

Great news shipmates

McDonald's adds triple cheeseburgers to its permanent UK menu.

Also available, duty free, on offshore tax havens.

Not sure about the bleed from the whistle line.

Last vessel on which I travelled (that's what us landlubbers do) was an Elbe Paddler whose almost only concession to being steam powered was a spit, a gurgle, a rattle and a shower of dirty water out of the whistle followed by a very feeble 'peep'.

Vessel didn't even rate a fireman being one of those automatic hot water service thingys.

Whistle probably full of COVID-19, birds'/rats' nests or some other crud which would be of little use to FJ.

Don't know about Mrs Major either as I have no knowledge of her.

A friendly word in your shell-like, give her a wide berth as she is a formidable woman. I don't know her first name but it is probably Marjorie or Edith, definitely not a Sharon / Tracey or a Sally.
A measure of her determination and aggressive tendencies can be deduced from the fact she is Vice Captain of Lord Varley's croquet team.

Thanks ES.
I had an inkling that 'vice' was involved somewhere.

Indeed, have the helmsman give the major's lady a wide berth unless on a bridge night. You wouldn't want to have a tweed streak on the boot top and she mightn't appreciate the term rubbing strake at such close quarters. Her visiting card has it as Belinda.

Seems awful quiet aboard here. my guess is something is afoot and someones conscience is keeping keeping them quiet.

That turd in the swimming pool is not mine and it has a Belfast look to it.

If we didn't allow nude bathing secrets like that would not slip out.

Has it a Fleg on it?

Well, they would but it would be more of a tea bag effect.

Turd? ...Thought it was a mahogany log. One of the Plasticos for sure as it is countersunk at one end.

Well I am up here in the driving room, no pencil lines on the Map thingy. wheel on auto pilot, long range radar shows land mass off the Starboard bow. I look down and theres the crew standing round the pool contemplating the removal of a log.
Cruising at 15 knots, calm seas light breeze. Time for breakfast I think.
Steward! full English please!

Billy, Old Stock, our multi-national crew are no longer serving breakfast. The Chief Steward tells me the galley will serve up Petit dejeuner, Fruhstuck, Frokost, Desayuno or Almusal; no more emulsified high-fat offal tubes with a touch of the runs in the early afternoon.

Boris has rightly buggered everything.