I have a strong agnostic leaning, with some thoughts. Best described by "I don't believe in God, but if I am wrong, I don't mean to be rude."

Tempted to make comments on that one but, as its the wifes 64th Birthday today I promised her I wouldnt be a naughty today!

How do you get away with promising only one day BB? There must be more to this somewhere.
Don't forget the :flowers:

Being busy but good. Making a wooden armchair for an old lady. with a lift up seat and a shelf for the bucket.

Might make some for the crew bar, save all the walking along the alley to the heads.

I spend all that time in the Trident with that damned comminuter pump and you want to butcher some valuable dunnage into a smoke-room thunder box. If I find any size of old lady laying so much as a perfumed fart where I am drinking she will find herself locked up with her seven pals and every bastard will know exactly that they are 'there' and there'll be nothing whatever being the matter. If she wonders about what the matter is perhaps she should have kept the matter in for longer or used the proper cludgy after breakfast like the rest of us.

As for us. We can just continue using the porthole like we always do. (Did you know SN has a cabin where one can go an show off their member to Members. Here all Members have to do is look out for members hanging out of a porthole, or a starboard hole when the other side full). If you can pin the right name on one before it is withdrawn its Member has to put a case behind the bar.

What's the procedure for Honourable and Right Honourable Members? I think they may require an ermine muffler.

Its 17.30 and already dark outside. Are we near the Equator Billy Boy?

It's a Bank Holiday in Eire today and I'm staying in the scratcher. Any probs or queries should be directed to Tmax, the lazy bugger needs a couple of days running about like a blue arsed fly. He's becoming far too comfortable as Chief Engineer, a bit like Vmin who ambles around with a cardboard Flukemeter, ambles between the galley and the bar, mostly.
Do Not Disturb.

I did ask that question E-S (you have banks?) but "Admin" have not so far elucidated the Membership requirements, especially as to their expectations as to what Lady Members are to put up for inspection. They have not even confirmed if there is to be a lounge steward.

(If you do have banks why does your allotment demand that Owners remit Mrs E-S and the little E-Ss in bars of carbolic and dhobi dust?)

My allotment is well fed with NPK, which I would not need to buy if any of my shipmates lived locally.
The Memsahib or Missus as you quaintly call her, an IOM term of endearment one presumes (the island is far too close to Liverpool) , uses the red soap when washing my smalls in the local stream.
I know you have a Zanussi or Hotpoint but the Mark 1 Memsahib at the stream has years of experience in the laundry department, and zero emissions.

Zero emissions? ..... Have you heard her when shes been eating curried beans?

Billy, boy; have a look at #6566
We would be better served if you and FJ did a wee bit of navigation and spent less time blackguarding the Memsahib. Rigel, Capella, Sirius and Vega should be in for a bit of attention tonight, if our Epauletted and Certificated Ossifiers can assemble the sextant. If they can find the sextant. Tmax thinks a Sextant is a pub on the dock road in Cork.

There are no emissions when eating curried beans, sprouts, eggs or artichokes (Jerusalem).

But that first knee-bending slap of linen on the rocky river-side after such a luncheoning has been digested (or partially so, anyway) and you can hear the little ozones hurling themselves into the carbollicky foam without waiting for the sunscreen.

Give them a star finder, almanacks, operational ham-bone or even a GPS and the answers'll be the same "We are in the wheelhouse" or "Magnavox, I'll give you Magnavox. It's miles out".

Oh no I don't, I spent many a happy hour there in Bougis Street, Singapore :big_tongue:

Are you still in touch with your nubile young lady friend?... you know, the one with the ping pong balls and the pint glass :wink:

Bugis Street, never heard of it.
Suggest you take your own advice; destroy all evidence .
Never heard of the place, and relieved when it was shut down.

We at Shipping History would like to wish you a happy birthday today!

Many thanks. E-S.

I think it a bit much 'We' at SH are to wish anyone a happy whatever without some of 'We' being asked. If I want to point out that you are another year older and not a jot wiser or richer then I will do so without the intervention of any Silicon based PA.

Have as many more as you wish for yourself!

Jeez there's a begrudger on every ship.

Birthday! Great I was looking for an excuse to have a party. Steward! lay up for a party on the pool deck on the double. I'll stand the first three rounds. Make sure theres Top quality cigars for Mr Varley please.

Happy Birthday ES and welcome to the old farts club. As a token of this special day you may purchase me a pint of Black Bush and a packet of Tayto cheese and onion. :pint:

I don't buy presents so by way of celebration you can have an hour off knob cleaning :chuckle:

By the way you kept that news very quiet so I suppose you have scoffed all the cake :very_sad:

As a token of this special day you may purchase me a pint of Black Bush and a packet of Tayto cheese and onion.

And I'll throw in a bar of nuggat. On the Antrim Road it is Nou Ga, but 20 miles up the road it is Nuggat. And 6 Paris Buns.

Ah Paris Buns, is them the ones that had the paper round the bottom and the sugary bits on the top? :big_tongue: AKA sore heads :jester:

As I understand it cake of the anniversary kind is not understood in that far off land. That diet, anyway, looks more Glaswegian than Dublinesque. Can you get the galley to deep-fry it? That would be the batter on the Nuggat to mix a metaphor.

I have put a case on. I don't know why. 'In my day' (dodder dodder) it was birthday boy that owned the sheet for the night.

What's this Dodder-Dodder crack?????

Chez Serang is on the banks of the River Dodder and our residents association would be appalled if a "Varley" type person was seen in the area. We talk of little else other than property prices, ****** and Irish not wanted.
Barrista I'll have a skinny latte with a double shot of vanilla.

Latte and vanilla?? Never seen you drink that in Bettys bar.

Well Bettys Cafe Tea Rooms in York, Yes.
Bettys Bar, No.
In Bettys Bar the clientele would snigger behind my back.

What a short memory you have young man, the last person to snigger at your expense in Betty's bar met the business end of my flogging spanner and as far as I know is still enjoying hospital food via a straw :smoking:

Us injuneers are not called the black gang for nothing, we are the original band of brothers :applause::applause:

The Varley genotype is in short supply and so at a premium and with a long waiting list (and if my forbear's bottom had been nifty enough to make the Dodder - y'r man Tone would not have had to top himself).

I may show the neighbourhood the threadbare face of a distressed gentlefolksperson but with Crittall windows I don't really have an option - the roof is new (and that f'ing leaks!).

Treat your roof as a hatch cover. Carry out an ultrasound test to pinpoint problem areas and carry out repairs.
If all else fails throw a tarpaulin over the slates and hope the neighbours don't notice.
Free advice is always best.

Thank you for the well priced advice. I called the yard back in and despite a bit of residual underneath the insulation (or, I suspect, in it), which now seems to have drained, I think I am tight again (as in all day rather than as a result of the usual post-prandials).

I look forward to hearing your pearls on the bloody Crittalls, we have (as I am sure do you) horizontal precipitation as well as the vertical type.

Crittalls had probably a touch too much style. They were far from a resounding success on the Titanic due to the fact that keeping water out was not one of their strongpoints. I'd have Regal Windows down first thing Monday morning and Grade 2 Listed Varl will be toasty warm when Jack Frost calls.
Pearls are freely given during lockdown.

Apologies all around for being tardy in response but V's houseboat sprung a leak and the A Team had to haste to Mona to add a bit if buoyancy to the craft, stability to the townland and Class to the Island.

Back to important issues, and it has to be said that it is comforting to have a Mucker with a big iron on his hip.
What a drinking team, me, Tmax and Marty Robbins. Ye-Ha.

It was very good of you to spring to my aid. But that was not my leaky bottom you were attempting to plug. That was the Jurby Hilton where they put you for not self isolating.

Style? Water? Their efficacy is limited to turning a draft into a zephyr and sometimes, I suspect, the attenuation level turns positive. Nabpcat, as a kitten, fell through the gap in the bedroom window. If your mucker with the big iron had shoved it up the conservation officer before you were banged up that would have been a service indeed.

I have the very thing for storing your freely given pearls. It is labelled 'Sarsons'.

A lot of vinegar from mona this morning, I suspect a bad burger on the way home last night.

I was quite well last night, thank you. As were the various comestibles, company and even dancing (try that in a monks' cowl). This morning's sourness comes from the temporary stickage in my gullet caused by 20 quid spent on charity raffle tickets without a sou's worth of prize to show for it and nothing to do with the free-flowingness of vinous refreshment.

Could have spent that on patent draft excluder (Nabpcat's no longer small enough to fall through, perhaps I should block them with stacked pussycats).

Nothing worse than a bad burger and soggy chips :big_tongue:

I can think of many better uses for a nice furry pussy :cat:

Viz-a-viz lottery and other games of chance..... I entered a wife swap draw and went home with a lawn mower :cloud:

I'd swap the Memsahib for a lawn mower.
A ride on model.

I thought only Eidfeasters were allowed to stack what you're fantasising about, Tmac. Not to mention that your partner in grime might pick up a sit-on rather than ride-on version.

All this waffle about soggy chips, lawn mowers and Titanic's windows is only camouflaging the fact that no one knows where we are.

wow! Back on line at last. 10 days it took to fix it. Our Mr Varley would have had it fixed in half an hour.