andf jones in the corner with his meat in his hands saying "They dont like it up them"

So many of the ladies of Walmington on Sea were prepared to do anything to get some of Jonesy's meat.

Sexist legislation! The law denied men a ration entitlement to that cut.

Avast behind !!! I recognise that lady, built for comfort not for speed, what I wonder is she doing aboard? Oh well will investigate later however in the meantime it is I, your friendly, cuddly and generous Chief Injuneer for it is indeed I escaped from the nefarious clutches of the medics. Glad to report the stern gland remains intact despite the various accoutrements inserted therein and the video taken is due for release by Hammer Horror Films in the New Year. Doesn't have any sex but is deffo X rated.

My thanks to ES for standing in superbly Squeek and Eric have never looked so relaxed, or well fed.

I shall retire to my funnel suite anon while I complete my recovery with copious amounts of Black Bush to ease the pain and dull the memory of the past days.

Fear not I shall soon come among you again, indulging in the merry badinage with all and sundry while striking the fear of God into the plasticos and the deckie type persons.

Not a stave of Lignum Vitae to be had on Norn Irn. Heavy demand recently.

not wishing to put a damper on things but it would appear that a surgeon appears to misplaced a sponge he uses for washing his car.

Balls no doubt!
Err... Sorry I meant bowls.

He did and now he spends hours just looking for his teeth..... :big_tongue:

Thanks for the good wishes shipmates, not quite out of the woods just yet, I have to be pumped full of chemicals for a while so ES is under special orders to make sure all the fill and stripping lines to the pump room are fully operational and the ullage gauges are set correctly.

I can fully recommend the stern gland procedure to those with Covid or Diarrhoea.... you are feckin' too scared to cough :cloud:

I know it's a tad early but a really great Christmas wish to you all, may your days be filled with happiness and joy this festive season and the days that follow. I count myself very lucky to know you all and am proud to count everyone of you as a friend. :applause::applause::applause:

I hate people that do this, but, me too.

ditto! from me too!

It sounds as if Tmac must have switched to the dark shrubbery a tad too soon after the drain cleaner.

I'll reserve my benefactions until the Kings College carol service. Only if I forget (have been left with the waifs and strays, seven so far, to fed on the day so may be busy tearing legs off the bird and shelling sprouts) should you take this post as one of wishing all the crew the compliments of the season this early - I have not put up any decorations as yet and put rude notes through the doors of those that have.

Seasons Greetings and Lang may your Lum Reek.

" ES is under special orders to make sure all the fill and stripping lines to the pump room are fully operational and the ullage gauges are set correctly"

Under special orders indeed; stripping lines, ullage gauges?? Are we being converted into a chemical tanker?

Ah, 'tis that time in the year when the tilt of the earth's axis presents a perpendicular from the Tropic of Capricorn to the solar orb.
So light your winter fires and enjoy the moment, each and every one.

And, a great profit shall come upon the land.

A wet day recently, somehow meant that I was inveigled to explore the storage space for baubles, tinsel, twinkly lights and an artificial conifer - This is now displayed, so apologies to Mr Varley but I promise to remove said obstacles to movement soon after the new year's calendar comes into use.

Believe it or not but I'm being forced into the roof space tomorrow to find the Christmas stuff I put up there last January. LED coloured lights, plastic christmas tree, paper streamers and a bronze Baby Jesus with the in-laws and assorted animals and wise men.
I'll leave them out until mid January just to annoy Oul Grumpy.

I believe that #6683 makes E-S an accessory before a breach of MARPOL. Try and find an IMO Christmas card with that printed on it (sorry, midwinter festival recyclable instrument of charitable postal greeting).

May your lum ever emit a light economic MARPOL compliant reekless haze (except in port where you should rely on 'cold ironing' - a system that provides neither flatness of clothing nor sufficient short circuit current to allow an efficacious scheme of protection).

(And do make sure you have the plastic and spelter, i'll bet, decorations down for twelfth night. Just a nod to wisemen).

Midwinter Festival my arse. Its Christmas.
Does anyone think the Queen and family head out from Sandringham on Midwinter Festival morn to go to church.

Queen Elizabeth is The Sovereign and holds the title 'Defender of the Faith and Supreme Governor of the Church of England'. Her Book of Common Prayer makes no reference to a Midwinter Festival, so neither will we.

Not sure you can be a dinosaur. Weren't they VNC WRT the Ark?

(I am not sure HM would lay claim to authorship over Cranmer, that would put her I/C Clerical rearguard for a very long time)

On the fourth day of Hanukkah my true love brought to me:

Not another candle!

One of the great traditions of Christmas time is the placement of a fairy on the top of the Christmas tree however not many people know the true story of this tradition. Allow me to enlighten the unknowing.

God instructed the Queen of the Fairies to bring him 12 Christmas trees, one for each of the days of Christmas. Unfortunately the lady couldn't count and brought 13. Upon asking God what she should do with the extra tree he told her in no uncertain terms which is why today we have a fairy on the top of the tree.

FYI Santa has obtained another Reindeer to accompany Rudolph, her name is Olive.....Olive the other Reindeer.... geddit??? I'm wasted here, pearls before swine. If anybody wants me I'll be under the plates with my colouring sticks.

Bah humbug :yawn:

I have a miniature model moose on my tree - I call him Chris.

Oliver doesn't rhyme with Prancer or George.

A lady reindeer. Good, they take less cooking than the bulls (and if she's been prancing with George she may come ready-stuffed).

She was dancing with Dasher. Donner und Blitzen ve vill not of ze presents ziss jahr getten. Oliver is male (with LGBTQIA+ tendencies) but Cynthia is all girlie.
Frigging reindeers are nothing but trouble. Haunch of venison for Christmas Lunch, anyone?

Surely you mean "Frigging reindeers leads to nothing but trouble."

NO I don't mean that.
FJ why are you trying to complicate our beautiful language. No need to transpose my post into the second declension and add a past participle in the dative tense. But that's Hull for you.

speaking of Hull ..Its time for our annual dry dock. I have a floating dock booked for next week. Usual travel passes for those wishing to go home for Christmas. I will remain aboard as usual to keep an eye on the dockies.
floating in on Saturday 19th. ship will be in its berth (close handy to a local bar) by the 2nd January.
Christmas bonuses will be paid as usual.

I look forward to the usual Christmas bonus.
Same as last year I assume?

Drydock in Hull, good news.
I recall me sitting in a warm classroom in Queens Gardens looking out on ships being repaired in Drypool, in all weathers. PPE was a donkey jacket and a Hull KR woollen hat. Hint; not the best season to dock in Hull. Grand Bahama Dockyard is an alternative.

we already booked for the new float dock in Gib. However, the Bahamas does sound inviting. I,ll get on to the agent and see if he has a job for us in that neck of the woods.

I am struggling with "....IA". Incestuous Arabs? Incontinence Arachnophilia?

(Can we please check the C19 statuus of wherever we intend to dock? No point in being stuck on board without enough shore power for the AC and no sanitary resources. We'll be using the gin to bathe in before you can say 'phew' (not that that did Blücher any harm).

Shore power supply and sanitation all laid on.

Its AI, and we will have none of it on my ship.

Google tells me that it is an umbrella word. I thought that they had stopped using that instrument for those that pick up something when 'intersex' (can no one spell properly these days?) especially when anally inspired even if only indulged annually.

mv Bulimba passing Greenock outbound.

Are we going to visit her for a Bunga party?

Half-Wit jet ski's from Scotland to IOM.
And raises the IQ of both Dependencies.

Perhaps. The contrast would have been greater if he had made it to Hibernia (but not if he had started his journey here from there).

(What a wally! A jetski with a 4 hour endurance, must be rather like a 45 gallon drum with outboard and handlebars).

ss Llanishen in ballast Dover Straits.

Keep her in the middle helmsman! dead slow now,...slow astern!...all stop!
Get them lines ashore cut outs. Fwe Tmac! shore supply cable connected. water for sanitation connected.
Gangways in place.
Merry Christmas to you all. enjoy your Christmas break but stay safe all of you. see you all back here safe and sound in a week by which time the ship will be moored over by yonder bar, the one with all the festive lights you can see.

Adelaide Star.