Welcome back Tmac - we have missed the exuberance of your verbosity. Funnel suite has remained untouched during your absence. Plastico has left your usual daily bottle of Black Bush at the door. :)

Earl Alexander you are trying to brown-nose my boss. Tell him about the painted Jezabelles you entertained in his suite, Mr McCloggie has expended 2 gallons of Teepol and Parazone trying to get the smell out and as for the stains on the carpet, well I'm speechless.

It is all very well receiving Tmac's request and passing it on but I don't know how he will receive the rock dodger's reply. I won't be able to receive anymore myself as I had the gain full up when E-S started shouting and the front end burned out. Speechless? Neither a personal nor national trait.

As Yogi Bear would have said; Varley, sharper than the average Sparks.

Liverish, LIVERISH !!!! young sir I'll have you know my liver was pickled many years ago..... no I am not Liverish...just an unpleasant bar steward :chuckle:

have you ever met a chief Injuneer that wasn't? :huh:

Anyhoo I'm back aboard now but why does my funnel suite smell of Jeys Fluid and has a wet carpet? answers on a postcard to the usual address :yawn:

HA !!! have seen sharper tennis balls :jester:

It may not be the greatest of accolades but Varley may be the wittiest person on the Isle of Man.

??? whats all the commotion?

Ah our highly esteemed Chief Engineer has returned eh squeek!

Varley said what?....Ah thats just a Manx term of endearment...He likes you really.

Thank you, thank you. I have this warm feeling (I do hope I've not pissed myself again).

Merry Christmas
 

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you.

Xmas Gift
 

For Tmac,,,,,

Harry and Megan heading to Sandringham for Christmas.

My admiration for my Chief Engineer knows no bounds, and I am unanimous on that. However rumours abound that he is a bit of a Naval Architect so the hourly rate would not be on the Richter Scale. I do hope this scuttlebutt is an April Fool.
As Julius Caesar once said carborundum bastards grind you down and don't let them juventutem meam.

Rarotonga tomorrow evening. Beach party on arrival -- band competition -- Need our instruments tuned up lads, and Tmac there with his Lambeg. Farmer John, we'll need our portable grass hut bar and grill ashore to welcome our hosts. :hippy:

Just a preview of the competition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQin3x3XHJI

Thank you very much and the best wishes to you and all others as well.

Does your illustration show the most speedy way to travel in this festive time? It certainly beats sitting on a plane at Gatwick. I think the post-horn might get a little mangled after 12 hours or so.

Tom, our portable bar is all ready, could we requisition some more thatching material from the dancers you show?

This is too much. Yet a new dance in less time than it takes to change a fuse. Will someone please arrange a Rarotonga expert to show us the moves. Do I need a grass skirt or will Mother's that she used for the Charleston do?

Oh, go with the Charleston outfit David. I am sure the native girls will be fascinated with it

Appropriate I suppose Sir. W. The last time I danced in that I was doing the 'Black Bottom'.

Steward, bring me another juventutem, this one's split.

V in a tutu, would you be dancing Swan Lake? No, methinks the Nutcracker Sweet.

Well, here we are --- Wow! the girls are sure friendly here. And ------ unlike most places, the fellas don't seem to mind too much either. On our way again in the morning -- putting everything on automatic as I suppose there will not be a whole lot of interest in actually manning our posts. :)

Wow!...they are beautiful indeed Tom. Think I'll ask one if she would like a drinkie.

Not a Desmond E-S. More bead curtain and bombazine.

(Erm, Tom. What is it, exactly, that the fellas here do not mind? They seem to have a fairly healthy population, can't all be new blood).

Have you seen "The Fellas", as Earl Alexander talks about??? They're big tanned brutes covered in tattoo's and looking like bouncers outside a dodgy nightclub in Wolverhampton. Not the sort of chap we want to mix it with, I'm taking a King Dick ashore smuggled down my trousers for a bit of courage.

Seeing as another birthday has passed by, I thought I'd look in and see how the old GD was faring.
Still ploughing the waves I see, might have to spend a bit of time aboard.
Might just dust off the cocktail cabinet, see if there's anything left.....

Re: contents of cocktail cabinet, Jeffers.

"Hope springs in the human breast.

Man was born to suffer as the sparks fly upwards."

What the hell was that Retsina about old man. You could have poisoned us!