Might one schizophrenically suggest the Brig. With no access to pencil or paper.

It will nice to have someone to keel-haul, all the old punishments are going unused. I expect he will be happy to take a vow of silence for the next 7 years.

A good night out does not have to end with a big feed of Pork Vindaloo and a few pints of Wallop with the wee waiters running up and down the restaurant with galvy buckets of bot tunda pani.


Might I suggest a mild Chicken Korma and a glass of unexceptional buttery Chardonnay. The following morning a read of the Belfast Telegraph, when having a George, will take your mind of the messy business. Man-Up.

I am a dabbish hand at the ruby-murray-making myself. Never moderated to the point the flavour is lost in a high density flux escaping from the containment. There is no risk of hydrogen evolution during the process however some ablutionary processes that follow in the morning may contribute to flammable gas hazard.

My lime pickle even passes muster with some of my subcontinental colleagues.

Inclusion of pickled Brussel sprouts to the sauce is a recent variation that has yet to be properly calibrated. Fenugreek has, for some reason disappeared from the usual sources here which usually means the Hibernian occupiers have managed to find something new they can make oxidise very, very quickly.

Pardonny Moi young man but I'll have you know I can weld armour plate with one of my curry powered farts.... mild Chicken Korma indeed :p that's for wimps, unless it leaves scorch marks in your jock strap it isn't worth eating.

Further as a Norn Iron native you should know better than diss a wee Ruby Murray:applause:

David I have it on good authority that deep fried Brussels sprouts are available in some good eateries in Glasgow and lots of shit ones as well. :D

Brazing, when brazing is needed, you are a master. Korma brazing is vital.

All those drums of Fosters now loaded. Was going to hoist the Blue Peter, but with it being the tail end of a hot summer here, I couldn't find a blue peter anywhere. Found a few contracted, wrinkled ones. Engine Serang's was covered in purple spots -- should seek medical attention or at least borrow my jar of gentian violet.

Sailing in the morning after a full English on the Garden Deck. :)

I don't think one can even solder with Korma. One can probably use MIG to electrically glue bronze (Madrasi Incendiary Gas). TIG (Tandoori Intensive Gluing) might just do it if not 'Admiralty' grade. The old hands, of course, use stick welding for all sort. What used to be called ARC (Anal Reamer Curry). Whatever, I agree we should be on deck, upwind of the sanitary exhaust.

Nice breakfast, steward -- my complements to the cook. Could I get a couple of generous splashes of Four Bells in my coffee, please? :)

If we are on the garden deck for breakfast can someone ring down to finish with water on deck. My fried egg would have floated off had it not been anchored by the fried bread (one corner ballasted with a bottle of morning port). I took a shufty at the barograph after the 0800 traffic list. It is obviously not working, the water level has reached 'fine' when it remain Beaufort rain 8 outside.

Bugger, that's my other sausage washed over the side, I should have pinned it down with griptini olive pick.

An Olive Prick, who allowed the Italians to sign-on?

If you had an Ulster Fry, as Tmac advised, such a calamity would not have befell you. The Full-English is far too delicate to withstand the conditions in the garden Deck. A lard and dripping infused Full Ulster has been known to see-off a medium tsunami washing across the GD". Be a good boy now and do what Uncle Tommy tells you.

Hey Gang.. guess who... looking for a new Budgie and may have found one..

That must be the bottle for the biggest soda siphon I have ever seen.

Cut outs, get the hanger deack cleared and cleaned. SSR is approaching with a new Budgie. Tell the stewards to prepare another breakfast for Mr V. And call me when SSR arrives with his full load.

Welcome back SSR -- shouldn't have any problem with fuel for the gas turbines on the new Budgie with what's been going on in the Curry Wars between Tmac and Engine Serang. I think Varley has got in on the "action" as well. Fuel will probably have to be processed by osmosis separation as in its natural state it may have some semi-solids in it. :bounce:

My compliments to the deck crew, along with the co-operation of the injun department in slipping away from Freemantle before all those maidens turned up with parents and clergy in tow.

I think that in spite of Engine Serang's self professed adherence to teetotalism we should have a welcome back party to welcome SSR back aboard. :pint:

Service at the bar and tables may be slow for a while. I heard that one of the more senior plasticos, the one with the luxurious grey flowing locks, bought a large bottle of Bay Rum when ashore in our last port. Several of the younger stewards thought he wouldn't mind if they helped him drink it. Consequently five of the domestic staff are now in the sick bay.

Do you mean that, apart from the density, an Ulster fry differs from breakfast by the amount it is curried? I though the Hibernians had everything with that black draught (like Mackeson's only disgusting). I can see this might make the post breakfast visit to the ablutions more of an urgency than regular habit but I find muesli and fruit works well enough.

A proper breakfast may include kedgeree which often has a small subcontinental kick but it is not meant to be taken in quantities recommended to bring one down to one's marks.

I hope that does not mean all the Bay Rum has been taken. I use it to dose my junior's 'fashionable' barnet in case it has anything in it that can walk off onto the headphones. Does anyone know if ACC9 would do him any harm if I had to use something else?

Hair products need care, let's see the buggers drink my Mansion Polish. I have just questioned all the Plasticos, it appears only two have been consuming the Bay Rum, the other 3 are sick from laughing. Situation all sorted out.

E S --- Would you please do an oil change and filter on the Zamboni in #1 hold -- just in case SSR wants to hold a hockey game? :)

And could Mr McCloggie please get his deck crowd to return the goal nets. They're not meant to be used for trawling off the stern for fresh food.

Found this in the injun room store :curtain_call: