So it appears I get about a bit, On TV in Melbourne indeed, would be nice if they paid the royalties as I is a poor ragged arsed injuneer wot has fallen on hard times. (stop sniggering at the back ES & Varley)

So sorry to hear about the loss of your shipmate, mine crossed the rainbow bridge a week before Christmas 20 years ago and I still feel the loss and the empty space just as much every day.

We need to have a period in dry dock because the big whirly thing wot is on the end of the pole thingy sticking out the back needs a bit of TLC. We have a spare "borrowed" from Harland and Bluff but I needs to glue it on when I takes the old one off and I can't see what I am doing if I do it underwater:( in any case the bubbles get up my nose and makes me fart :supercool:

It's a bit cold for Jaques at Marseilles, perhaps the far east? I have never done Hong Kong (I was out that way with a recently flooded and mutinied OBO but she was too long for H-K and so it was Singapore (again). Wouldn't mind Singapore - bunking ashore of course (is the Ladyhill still going?) but the boss always said it was a sanitised version of H-K so I would like to try the rarer dish.

Do you have a circular metabolism Chief? (bubble/nose/fart/water/bubble/nose..........). It must only be a minor change in habit, you clear the smokeroom at least three times a night, usually just before it's your round, on curry nights that goes up to five at least although it's a bit hard to attribute any flatulental particularity amongst the ensemble performing forte.

Sad coincidence. Have just heard from a widowed friend that her woofer 'Charlie' died at the vets overnight. Oddly he got on rather well with senior pussycat.

A widowed friend, indeed. Could be a euphemism for something smutty.

sorry to hear that YM. Lost my loyal pooch over 30 years ago. Still missed sadly.

Smutty and Sweep? Has some sort of ring.

I see on Discovery Channel that all the cruise companies employ an Environmental Officer to tell lies; sorry, to ensure that they strictly adhere to the highest standards and protect our fragile seas.
We need one on GD2 and I propose we engage the lovely Ms Thunberg, a Greta decision.

Thanks to you All for your kind words on our dog Tigger's demise the other day. :curtain_call:
She has left a big hole in our hearts and lives after 18 years. :very_sad:

Geoff.

Harbour Master says we have to be away by tomorrow nights tide lads. There is a dry dock available in Falmouth for our Christmas break and bottom scrape.
Tmac, we sail on tomorrow evenings tide, we will head to Falmouth for Christmas lay up. Main engines on for 18:00 hours please. Yes 2 cases of black bush (one for each engine) as usual will be ready and waiting.

Steward! please take these two cases of Black Bush to the engine control room with my compliments.

Cut outs, get the shore supply cable aboard. single up to a slipper and raise the gangway.

Ring down stand by please.

Apathy BB, Apathy reigns. Falmouth will turn apathy into mutiny. Falmouth because you have a fancy woman, a bit on the side, a scarlet lady. Bollix, we want to drydock in Harland & Fox. If you and the Managers insist on Falmouth all the lads will head for Belfast anyway and will sing down the phone to you;;;

Oh Billy dear
we're over here
And we're never coming back,
What keeps us here
is the great black beer,
the Ladies and the crack.


Varley, as is his pattern, will Yule in IOM and Lang Sang with the Lads in Belfast. Not exactly a man of mystery but a solid citizen.
Billy the balls in your court. Oh the loneliness of Command.

We had the choice of the glutton's car park or an outing or two to l'entrecote and the old man chooses fish and chips. How will the bread sauce and stuffing go with that I ask myself.

Dined with a now positive covider on Sunday (and with some of the same crowd last night) with all these positives about are a comensurate numbers of negatives required before covid actually covids? The ghoulish reply would be 'no, only a good earth').

(if I ask myself should I use a question mark or is a spanner blow more appropriate?)

Hey dont mock me..I am only the owner. you all had a chance to seek out a suitable dry dock port and nobody spoke up, after a week. Falmouth it is then. Belfast is a no go due to the fact Paddys wont work over Christmas week Even though offered great sums of punts. No dock available in IOM. Only one I could find was in Falmouth.
Christmas leave will be granted to all, Transport home will be provided as usual. anyone wishing to pay off may do so.
I will be advertising for crew as from January 2nd. Hope to get deck officers this time around.

Let go the slipper! ... thrusters hard a port!... stop thrusters! slow ahead both!, Keep her in the middle helmsman.
Ring down full away, revs for 20 knots.
both radars and alarms are set, Ecdis dialled in, I am off for supper...

Philadelphia for bunkers and stores the shoot across the pond for Falmouth.
we are 2 days out of Filly so should work out fine.

Two days out of a filly, good man. I hope you cleansed your old man with one of the wonderful BOT VD Kits.
How in the name of all that's holy are you going to land her in Camden and the place on HI DOE for goddammed communists.

In #7453 you bluntly, and foolishly, stated; "Belfast is a no go due to the fact Paddys wont work", T-Tommy is fit to be tied and is incandessent (spell check Mr V, please) with rage. Expect laxative chocolate in the plum duff over Yuletide.

I'll have to check myself, we're all LED now (except my kitchen in which the last fitted light is now unuseable. Can one still get gas mantles?).

Anyway. Poor old Paddy, perhaps his will start working again when he's opened that package from Numan.

Yes of course you can purchase gas mantles - The shed dragging brigade still use them apparently. It seems that while they can carry bottled gas, shore power in the middle of a field is hard to come by.

Trivia; The gas mantle was invented after the incandescent electric lamp in response to the new upstart completion.

Being a baby-boomer I was reared with mains electricity coming in on a wire and mains sewerage going out in a pipe so gas mantles are not in my vocabulary. Are they by any chance related to the mantlepiece?
I have heard mention of a Tilly Lamp and a Hurricane Lamp and wonder if the Academic Mr V could put all these gizmos on a time line, unless he's playing darts in the Old Market tonight.

Not sure about predating the electric luminaire (of whatever pattern - wiki says they were at the Great Exhibition).

(The Market tomorrow after luncheon, perhaps, but not for 'arrers').

The Tilly lamp probably did have a mantle I can't remember that detail but do the light from them well enough. In boyhood in Seaford power cuts were not infrequent and the atop the lockers in St.Wilfrid's School staff common-room there were a slack handful of them which were lit when the lights went out. Much like the primus and blow lamp the pressurised paraffin was heated on its way to the burner so that it was effectively gas when allowed to escape, burning to heat mantle and vapourisation tube/vessel/whatever at the same time.

Turning electricity directly into sewage is a phenomenon I have never seen and whilst it would be fascinating to hear how this is achieved I fear it would irritate those of a Doom-Goblinesque following. Did it injure many sewerage workers?

2 days out of Filey, you say ???
Play your cards right and you could see who put the Great in Yarmouth.

The 1883 Crystal Palace Gas and Electrical Exhibition is the one where both Mr Swan's electric light and Monsieur Clamond's gas mantle were shown.
Mr Swan having his patent in 1880 and M Clamond in 1881.
But, Herr Carl Auer von Welsbach's mantle, which used Thorium Nitrate came in 1884 and was the model of those still used to this day.

Ah yes the Mantle. great invention in their time and no need for a Faraday cage.
I was sent to the shop to buy one once. Got curious as a young child as to what was in the that pretty cardboard box and ended up putting my finger through it. seem to remember my aft being sore for quite some time.

Still have a hurricane lamp somewhere but not used in donkey's years.
Also have kerosene blow lamp which I do use from time to time. It scares hell out of the YMs and the (adult) kids as they wait for it to explode and take me with it .......... :curtain_call:
The thing that does scare me is gas. Invisible and lethal.

Nearly burnt the Commissioner's Special Carriage to the rails in the outback on the way to Alice Springs back in the 70s. Timber and varnish burn well! Coldest overnight in Central Australia on record (-7C IIRC).

Gas space heater in the dining saloon:

• Turn on gas at tank
• Turn on gas at heater
• Light match near heater
• Nothing, bugger!
• Little blue flames over about a square metre surrounding the heater.
• Turn off gas tank and flames die.
• Rat crew cabin for extra blankets
• Booked fault on arrival in Alice Springs -oh yes we knew about it split hose but hadn't got round to fixing it!!!!

If the Commissioner had been travelling I bet it would have been fixed beforehand.

Hi YM, have your Jolly Swagmen stopped digging coal out of the ground and selling it to the enemy? Will the submarines you are buying to put manners on John Chinaman have coal fired auxiliaries?

Yes we are still digging both iron ore and coal which we will sell to anyone, even a potential enemy - like the scrap steel sold to Japan in the 1930s.

We (our politicians that is) are totally unprincipled and completely at the behest of anyone with money. We have even sold the Port of Darwin to the Chinese!

Yes, the new K class will be coal fired everything - even the galley.

All is not lost, however, there are savings! The turbines have been replaced with steam reciprocating saving on the capital cost.

Unfortunately, coal firing and the steam reciprocating will preclude submerged operation but this is not seen in Canberra as a problem as the water at their RNSW Navy wharf in Sydney Harbour is not deep enough to allow submerging anyway.

So a few extra Admirals in the offing. Submersing is an added extra and if the truth be known a bit of a faf. Beloved only by our American allies who are unable to control anything on the surface.

stand by for docking lads. ropes and fenders port side.
stop engines...let her drift in a bit...slow astern Starboard!...stop engine.....make fast. Once we are bunkered we will move ship across to the other side and moor up for the night.

You rotter. The bond's sealed and I've only a gallon of Rochas to last until breakfast.

Would that be Eau Rochas Homme, Rochas Madame or Rochas Mademoiselle?? One hopes it is the Homme but we live in testing times.

Well November has gone so we all can get back to drinking and posting and BB can review his berthing manoeuvring rituals "stand (sic) by for docking lads. ropes and fenders port side.
stop engines...let her drift in a bit...slow astern Starboard!...stop engine.....make fast".
The Bridge Resource Manual takes a dim view of such carry on. PSC will pick it up.

PSC can PSC off.
Right ho lads 2 and one each end. we can get a run ashore here then skip across the pond for dry dock. after that who knows! we may well go into permanent lay up. Cant get reliable deck officers these days for love or money.
shame as it was a good thread once upon a time.
Vacancies for commodore, Captain, 1st,2nd and third mates, bosun and chippie. urgently required. I cant continue without staff. too old for that nowadays. I am just along for the ride.

I've got a Royal yachting "Day Skipper" certificate and am more than willing to stand watch on the Bridge.
Some say it was a good thread once upon a time and I agree. If you do not have any joining criteria then folks like me join and spoil it all.

Well at least you still have a Chief Injuneer, a great second and a somewhat erudite sparky type person so all is not lost. :flowers:

Maybe Santa will be good to you this year, I've long given up on the old barsteward, last year he left a pile of sh1t on my hearth and despite digging through it with my bare hands I couldn't find the horse :bad_mad: If he drops down the funnel this year he is in for a hell of a surprise :yawn:

Eu de Rochas Tawny. A dab behind each ear to attract itinerant deck staff and for to soak any new subligacula to avoid tinea cruris (there's erudite boyos, for skiddies and crutch rot, respectively).

Also efficacious when taken internally especially against split in choirboys.

Yes it was a lot of fun at one time ES. Had some great crew who have since crossed the bar. The likes of John Briggs, Dom and Jim Barnes for instance were some really great characters and played their parts really well.
I guess we will have to wait and see if any volunteer crew come forward.

we are all amateurs aboard here with the exception of my Engineers and electrical officer. No previous experience requires as training will be given. So, Step up readers and fill the empty spaces on our crew list. Anyone fancy being our agent? could do with a few good jobs to boost our coffers.

TANNOY: Attention all crew (or whats left of us aboard here) we will sail on tomorrow mornings tide for Falmouth docks (unless a cheaper dry dock becomes available along the way).

anyone going home for Christmas let me know so I can arrange transport for them. I will be staying aboard as usual.

I think we may have to stay aboard to keep Sir W and others of such extreme nostalgia from topping themselves.

We could also beat the former with sticks for eschewing sate in Singapore for fish and chips in blighty (did he perhaps mistake cider with Rosie for cider made vinegar?).

(One should eschew every mouthfull 100 times before eswallowing).

Bollocks to Falmouth (no offence nice place if you like that sort of thing) but I pulled a few strings and got us a berth in the Belfast dock for the duration of the holidays. :jump:

Refit all booked and paid for and at "mates rates" as well, if we get over the bar before they realise we have scarpered we will save even more :jester:

The sites of old Belshaft are on the doorstep, The Rising Tide, Dubarry's, Amelia Street, The beaten Docket and the Boom Boom Room are just a few to be visited. :smoking:

The pox doctor will be available from Boxing day just in case you got an infected prick. These Covid jabs give you more than a sore arm so don't say you weren't warned :jester:

Can we open the bond again? That gallon of Rochas I had has mysteriously disappeared and I have only the Havana I had saved for a post turkey smokathon.

I suppose the heathen place may have a Chinaman to provide sate and flied rice?

(I should let the prick go ashore by himself Chief, we can always give him a lateral float test if he develops a sniffle.

My booster didn't trouble me at all but the bloody kitchen ceiling looks to make both the leg and the arm sore - don't get much light from a gas hob without a mantle).

Thats brilliant news Tmac. Thank you very much good sir. Please come to my suite so I can sort out your Christmas bonuses later.