Pawnbrokers make up for Hitler as they have three. Not only that, they openly display them in public. One hangs lower than the others because it is on a longer chain.
:yawn:

Well, that is the best idea I have heard all day. 00.01

If Hitler had gone to sea, he would have gone around in circles. :chuckle: Or perhaps they could have hung him from the forestay as an anchor signal.

I can see how we won now...we had a pair!

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner. :bounce:

We have cases of that $hit. Can I say that here?

I believe you Farmer John as I have just checked out Lord Kelvins Balls on Google.:eek:

Nothing out of the ordinary, or spectacular -- A few funky little bars, touristy oriented - but a little bit up market from what we are used to. Nice food, and good quality cocktails. Little bit of music on some days of the week. Perhaps we could enjoy one evening here if we tone down our expections of licentious, drunken behaviour. Actually, from what I am seeing it would be appropriate to ask the lady members of our crew to join us ashore in a quiet, enjoyable, companionable evening?? :hippy:

Glad to hear you are back Tmac. --- Sir William did an admiral (doctor of injuneering) job while you were away, except for the time when he rang up to the bridge. We thought that all of a sudden we were running Doxfords down there as he said something like we only had enough air for one more start. Upon raising the fact that we were still ful away at the time it was resolved that what he actually reported was that he only had enough air for one more phaart! :wink:

I'd of thought we'd have heard from SSR by now -- blowing his horn about the prowess of his beloved Penguins. I would like to 'umbly remind him that their win was only due to a Canadian lad, assisted by another Candian lad scoring the winning goal --- and it took double overtime to achieve that!!

I do suppose, however, that #1 hold will be reserved for the finals for Lord Stanley's cup?? :bounce:

Thats a good idea Tom. A nice sociable evening would be good for the entire ships comapany....Crew bonding and all that.

Well, preGMDSS this wasn't a problem for us. Ma sent me two telegrams a day so I could get two wipes and one polish using MIMCO's best red forms (S-3). No good for doing music 'though.

Very good for tracing maps when at school.

Please Explain.

What do you take me for, Red? Only a cad would wipe his arse on his employer's stationery unless it was addressed to him.

I should also ampliate. The form was no use with a comb, either before or after.

no good after...too many bum notes.

Not only is it pointless to sample a Gripetini or Summery White Gloss'n Pimms to add insult to injury my friends are now accusing me of blowing steroids up my nose only to take advantage of them at Croquet! Nothing in the kit's sharp enough to slit my wrists, oh woe..

Red-17 and Pats. Go up to the radio shack and see if you can cheer Varley up will you. Take a box of cigars and a bottle of vintage port with you. Poor mans had a bad day.

I think you may have misunderstood my please explain Varley. I wanted to know what GMDSS meant.

I do hope that the cigars and port offered up by King Billy cheer you up Kind Sir. :flowers:

OK - TANNOY: All ashore that's going' ashore. Gentlemen: Please attempt to wear clean shirts, cravats,long pants (with belts - ditch the old baggy wrinkle), and shoes with matching socks. Ladies: Little white cocktail dresses would be fine.(Underwear optional). :hippy::hippy:

My profound apologies Red. Global Maritime Distress and Safety System. The largely automated system operating in various wavebands and with user interfaces that allowed the intelligence conveyed over the air to be sent and received without the interlocution of a telegraphist. In, say 1971, when Mrs Varley's little boy first sat at a live 'key', a human at one end had to transcribe text into Morse (usually by eye and fleetingly) and the receiver had to transcribe it by ear and write or type it out for delivery to the addressee. All else of operation was in the calling and establishing a 'conversation in Morse between sending and receiving station. We also kept the kit in good order and fixed it when it broke (although my experience one leave with the depot staff at East Ham left me with an excellent idea of how good and bad some of us where at that!).

Marconi Form S-3 was the red pad used to take down the received message:

best white trousers on, White shirt with breast pockets and epaulettes on. clean black socks and polished shoes on. Red paisley patterned cravat on. wallet, satellite phone,Blue pill's, oh, and a couple small pieces of that plastic bang bang stuff just in case.....all checked out... "On my way Tom"

Pushing the boat out.
 

Clean socks? That is going it a bit.

just thought it would make a change from painting my feet black Farmer John.

Thank you, Sir, for setting such a fine example. (I do suggest, however, that you do up your fly -- that draws the observer's attention from the otherwise displayed attention to detail!! (As it can be said - "Your office door is open, and your secretary is peeping out") :huh:

Oh, Sorry about that Tom. Good our female crew did'nt see my secretary. they might have been traumatised heh heh heh.

yes well...ashore...errrrr......ummmmmm bars..drink, eh, ummmm, errrrr, What was the question again?

Ready for the "go ashore" in full injuneering rig.... greasy boilersuit and budgie smugglers..... what, WHAT ????.... what's wrong now?

oh yes, very nice Tmac!..polished shifter in each side leg pocket too. Why you have a lump hammer there?...Oh, I see...the lycra boxer shorts eh.

Come on then lets go ashore and check out the fishermens pub on the quay first.

Right-on!! I was going to comb my hair before I went ashore, but seeing as it is there all by itself, it doesn't look out of place anyway. On my way Sir William. :bounce:

a large glass of whatever beer you have and a bottle of whisky please. And whatever my crew want on my tab.
Come on you crew type persons, shout up and drink up, My treat for all you do for me.

I'll have a pint of Guiness and Creme-de-menthe, please, Sir William. Let's keep it civilised.

Just water and a dash of bitters for me.

Sitrep:

Now taking to blowing seawater up each nostril several times a day as well as the steroids (the recipe of a Countess of my dining and croqueting acquaintance. I had to, otherwise I feared going on to her usual medicinal conclusion which is using one's own 'water' if you get the passing reference - there's no old wife's tale like an Irish old wife's tale).

Perhaps I'll have to move on to that. Everything now tastes like it's had some of the Atlantic added to it.

The slice of lemon sets it off wonderfully.

Varley, how about living underground for a week or so? In my experience, when you emerge, you can smell everything, the grass, the soil, everything.

I have a salt water sprayer for my nasal passages Varley. Have to use it at least twice a day. seem to have so many allergies these days.

Glass of water with a dash of Guinness it (it will look beer then varley) for Mr Varley please.

Oh heck, Tmac just gave that waitress a Titanic Rivet. Silly girl is asking how you put batteries in it!

The only contractor I have employed for 'underground' was chosen as he undertook to make sure his customer stayed there. He's had enough of our custom for a year or two - I HOPE. He also set fire to them first which I would find uncomfortable, time enough to burn later.

That would cap it all and cap it badly. Allergic to alcohol! I don't think it's that as I don't swell up and go blue with Annie's Fatalic Shock. As an indicator of how bad it is I had asparagus last week. Not a hint of it when going to pee.

If salt water in the passages doesn't have the desired affect Sir William, try WD80 to displace it. (It's like WD40 but works twice as fast.) The white spirit might make your eyes water a bit, and you'll smell just like a freshly polished engine room.

Hey Boss, I'm in.. as long as it doesn't conflict with the Lads in their quest for another Stanley Cup (yeah, I know, they shoulda lost this game, but stole it back)...