Anymore of this loose talk, YM, and you're in danger of being re-classified as a Clown. Pinch of salt indeed, some of your comments are saltier than Lot's wife's arse.

Three things spring to mind;

1. You are living in a greenhouse

2. Put a caravan on your wicket and use the "House" as a shed.

3. Blackmail Crittall by inviting Kevin McCloud to Chez V and discussing an edition of his hard hitting programme Grand Designs..

Your shipmates are determined to ensure you don't put in another winter with the cold wind from the Mourne Mountains blowing up your jacksie.

'Re-classified'! Will that mean more money or just a bigger shovel?

As for Lot's wife, all you need to do when next on the bridge is to make sure that you don't run into her. She is not far away I suspect.

Heads will roll if there is yet another dent in our immaculately painted hull. :o

The greenhouse is fine. The family think more of the grape vine than me.
A caravan! From the inclemently cool to the cryogenic.
Would be a good idea except that someone is suing KM for professional negligence (sometimes I would have him for bad taste).

You are all kind (usually), but that end can be achieved by the other means.

YM I think you have some explaining to do.

One of Warne’s close friends – Sporting News chief executive Tom Hall who went on holiday to Thailand with the cricketing great – revealed Warne enjoyed a very Australian last meal, wolfing down Vegemite toast.

ah the wondrous Vegemite on toast with sliced cheese and thinly sliced tomatoes. Of course it has to be Australian cheddar (Bega extra strong) and Queensland Butter.

Queensland Butter aka Echo Margarine.

Stick to Kerrygold, it'll make a man of you.

Cornish Butter is nice too as is their clotted cream with fresh Strawberrys.

You supply the toast ES and I will bring the Vegemite and the Bega 'Strong and Bitey' cheese for BB.

Can you make toast on a peat fire or do you have toasters over there?

One thing that I learnt travelling throughout Europe is that the EU is incapable of making either a properly working toaster or bread that will toast. Following Brexit this problem may have been rectified.

Carried my own jar of Vegemite everywhere (of course).....!:jump:

One cannot be cavalier with either peat fires or toasters in rebel held Hibernia. Especially in the areas for ablutions where any bathing equipment is devoted to the making of poteen.

(I would not be surprised to find BP looking for the odd shipment of the stuff to shore up the shortfall caused by Idi Putin).

You observation on the Eurotoaster Standard maybe that most are designed to pop up which is probably down when the antipodes are considered. Perhaps there could be some sort of standard converting attachment to catch the finished bread emerging from what would then be a pop down toaster.

I make toast the old fashioned way, heel of a loaf stuck on a prong and held in front of the furnace door (open) until golden brown. What the hell is Vegemite anyhoo, sounds like Bovril on steroids? :confused:

Why does holding things like that turn you brown? If you keep it up for longer do you turn black?

I would have thought you had enough trouble with ethno-ecclesiastical prejudice over there to sign up to another bigotry.

(I understand Vegemite is Marmite but without the airmiles and with a lid that unscrews from the bottom).

A lid that unscrews from the bottom! Old Einstein wasn't as smart as he thought he was. Did Slim Dusty or Rolf Harris (Yes he's one of yours) or (one of theirs) sing a song about a jar of keekh with a lid on the bottom? I feel certain Judith Durham is too saintly to go near a subject like that.

BTW is there much Russian money swilling about the highways and byways of Mona Oblast?

Just don’t buy anything marked дрожжевой экстракт

дрожжевой экстракт translated it probably means "made in China"

Does дрожжевой экстракт actually translate to 'yeast extract' or is it something more sinister? If so - 'other than Vegemite'!

My education consisted of 15 years English, 5 years German (O-Level failed), 3 years Latin, 2 years Greek, 1 year Irish and 71 years Ulster-Scots. So I don't stand a chance with Cyrillic script.

Och sure all you need is how tae spake Ulster :chuckle:

I can swear in several languages, people say it is a lack of vocabulary to resort to swearing, rubbish I know thousands of words but I still prefer f*ck !!:chuckle:

When did Cyrilic Script join us? Engine or deck?

We have a fair few Ukrainian and Russian students at King William's and some professionals in the wider community (I know one Russian lady lawyer and one Ukrainian teacher who was in tears at last Friday's lunch meeting more especially over vile comments posted on an Irish site on the topic of refugees). I am told the Island is not sufficiently upmarket for any Oilyghasts to have been taken up.

The topic of refugees is far too serious and emotive for me to comment upon so I won't.

getting a bit too noisy here now. I suggest we cast off and head away from here. Anyone know of a decent bar in Malta? we would be safer down there. someone might think I am an oilygarth and try to impound the Golden Dreamer.

When I was in the Andrew we drank and misbehaved in The Gut. BB proceed with all dispatch.

Full ahead both, revs for 25 knots please Tmac.
ECDIS set for Malta, long and short range Radars and alarms on. Iron mike has the wheel. to the bar! the bar I say.

St Patricks Day dawns bright and clear.
Tmax is preparing his famous Irish Stew, I am concocting a big tureen of whiskey punch and organising a beer-lift of Guinness from the Bond.

All hands are invited to help us drown the shamrock in T's suite at 11 hrs.

Not ready yet. Still ironing my hi viz (orange) shirt. :p

Enjoy your day.:pint:

Fine I will be up there soon. I just happen to have a bottle of Black bush and a couple bottles of Jamiesons I have been saving for such an auspicious occasion. Stewards has made Cabbage and bacon and thawed out some white sausage.

BB you're a child of Jesus, and St Patrick.

Paddys day
 

Happy Paddys day Lads.

Open house in my funnel suite tonight lads, eat drink and be merry and no worries as I will be footing the cost. No I haven't gone mad or soft in my old age but it's St Paddies Day and I can't keep up the pretence of being a miserable oul shit today of all days.:chuckle:

Anyhoo things could be worse we could all have contracts with P&O. Bloody disgrace how this was handled and announced, shame on the lot of them. :really_mad::really_mad:

May the road rise up to meet you
and may the sun be always at your back
May you be safe in heaven
10 minutes before the devil knows you're dead.

Tannoy: Attention all crew, stand by for docking manoeuvre. we will be alongside in 15 minutes.
Reduce to half ahead....slow ahead!...pilot comming along side.

Good God is it the 18th of March already? Tmax is a grand host and the guest Sommelier for the evening a Monsieur de Varoeuly had ever such a light touch when on topping-up duty. Why are we slowing down? are we at Eastham already? Com'on Tranmere Rovers.

Thank you Pilot. 2 and 1 each end cut outs. gangway and cable when you can. FWE Tmac!
Time to get the go ashores on and head ashore.
Fuel barge will be alongside around mid day tomorrow.

Please don't issue orders coupling 'cutout' with 'cable'. At less than 2 quid an hour we will be without lights before you can say knife and I will be four on stop on until we leave.

No worries Mr Varley. get ready for a run ashore. I have heard of a luxury lounge bar I want to check out. Nice background music, comfy armchairs and pretty young girls for decorating the place. Top of the main street next to the cigar shop.

My shipmates spent manys a pleasant hour searching dockside pubs and clubs looking for girls (and boys) with balaclavas and handcuffs; now P&O Ferries are bussing them in. Enlightened times indeed.

Ah wonderful Belfast, nothing like the taste of smokie Vodka with a dash of ceiling plaster as an extra garnish. The balaclava boys were so helpful in asking "what size do you take in a hood?" or "would you like a limp for the rest of your life?" such a friendly city and such exciting times. :jester:

P&O Ferries bringing a taste of the Orient to sunny Larne :supercool:

Growing up half the village worked on the ferries.

where I originate from people mostly worked for British Rail. I did, worked on the footplate till 1962 then transferred onto the Newhaven - Dieppe Ferries. Happy days!

Mr. V is very quiet recently, Thank Goodness, but I believe he is up to his oxters in sh1te in the other place. If he gets Parkhurst or the Scrubs we will visit him.
At least with his education he will understand the Latin phrases used by their Learn'd Friends.