I put up a post yesterday but for some reason it has disappeared so maybe it was my comment on Putin that caused it to be censored. Never mind I'll just post it again and see what happens.

President Putin was becoming very worried about how the war in Ukraine was going that he decided to consult a fortune teller as to what would happen in the future. She told him she could see him riding along in a huge limousine along streets filled with cheering and flag waving people. "did I wave at them?" he asked "no" she replied "the lid on the coffin was closed"

Well, I should know a little Latin as even we unclever boys had to 'do' it until 13 - learn is to 'overdo it'. Only clever boys did it after that (and only the very cleverest ever did Greek, the language that is not the pederasty. A very big change in one generation. My Uncle's schoolboy written Greek was good enough to act as platoon translator on their way North.

But you are right I am in contemplative mood as will be going to and from Manchester next week and hopefully the same the following week, however the second return assumes I survive the knee replacement. My Avatar and surgeon both suggest I am hardly the ideal shaped candidate for any form of anatomical cut and paste. Scary (as the adolescents would say).

You are also right in the old adage. Proper school allows one to fit in as easily in any 'cloistered' order be that a prison, a ship or, dare I say, special interest social media.

Good luck David with the procedures, any problems give me or ES a call, we are very experienced in low down joints (Dubarry's and The Crown) :jester:

Yes once the stitches are out you will abandon the croquet lawn for a soccer pitch. In no time you will be hill walking and pledging to do the easier of your 5 Marilyns . Cheers.

I am only doing this to get back on the croquet lawn. I might just be about hobbling by the time my sometime star player is back on two legs. Age wearies (that is most ungallant, I know) and she has been horses of combat since September after breaking one in two places. I am older (71, and hope to get more so!).

(Thanks.)

Good luck with the procedures David. With you in thought good Sir. You are exempt from Kneeling at mass this morning by the way.

A railway man, a footplate man, an expert. What a story to come out after 1885 posts, everyone will want you to be their best friend, including me.
Your task now is to keep an eye on that Mundrabilla chap, I think he is a spoofer, trains in the outback indeed!

Opt for roller bearings this time David.
Hope that it all goes well.

At least we have some outback! :curtain_call:

My late Brother James Still was a station master up at Murphys creek for some time. he also became secretary for the Queensland branch of the royal flying doctor service. so yes Australia dis have steam trains and I believe some are preserved and still get a run once in a while. Not sure I could fire to one though, must be hard to do upside down.

Keeps the water over the crown sheet!:jester:

Just been looking at Murphys Creek Tavern and their Menu, no roo steaks or bush tucker. Ned Kelly and the Jolly Swagman will be disappointed but they can fill their boots with Pumkin and Sage Ravioli or the Stir Fry of the Day. Hope the iron ore don't run out.

Indeed you have. I can't switch on the tv without seeing some ugly bugger and his missus driving a 6 waggon road train or mine detecting for gold or attacking a quarry with a chipping hammer looking for black/blue-green/red-green/white/and all colour combinations of opal. Has anyone got a real job?

Roller bearings indeed, can't beat them. Bet Lord V opts for British Timken rather than the inferior ones from Schweinfurt.

Very astute ES.
You just about summed up the place in one go.:jester:

Material unknown although think titanium involved. I do know a robot is involved and I am off for it to measure me up. No off the peg leg for V. Said to be easer on the hassock.

Titanium is very functional, may I suggest gold plate or epns. If cost is a problem lets try gilding with gold leaf. A touch of class dear boy.

maybe Tmac can fit a grease nipple to it for you David.It would save time when due for its 50 mile crawl service. Best of luck with it.

Without wishing to be ungrateful I will leave that to Mr. Kim and his friendly robot. Should it come to quick trip to the workshop it will be for you to drill a much needed hole. In my head.

But thank you, anyway. Please be assured I will reciprocate should that be indicated.

Be of good cheer David, all is not lost I have located a nubile female who has two greasy nipples and is willing to donate same for suitable recompense i.e. a fish supper and a pint of Guinness.

The transaction has taken place and I am now in possession of said nipples, a quick wipe down with an oily rag will see them in a satisfactory condition to be inserted into your knee caps.

Please report at your convenience to the injuneers workshop where ES is standing by with a 7llb anaesthetic prior to my installing the new, well second hand, lubrication devices.

No need for thanks, ES is actually quite looking forward to the procedure, unfortunately the resultant headache from his ministrations will be the least of your problems. :eek::eek:

A wise man once said, *If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried*, but in this instance I intend destroying the evidence upon first sight.
Keep your nubian female and your 7 of chloroform. Nipples on a knee are as much use as tits on a bull. I am sending them by DHL to Brest where they may succeed.

I understand I am to have an epidural so you can use that chloroform on Vlad the Insaner.

It does remind me of the first time went under the knife are reported my drinking habits honestly but ended with 'But I have been a good boy and not had a drop for the last three days" "A pity" says the gasman "I'll have to give you more of mine".

*the first time I went under the knife *

Is this a common occurrence?

Have you got a touch of the Munchausens?

Good luck with the epidural David. it failed to work for me. I was put to sleep with an injection then the epidural was put in to me. However when the knife was put in my body was reacting to it. So, they had to quickly intubate me and feed me gas to keep me under while they removed my gall bladder. Bit more elevated than a Knee. It just so happened that my Stepson was the ODA at the time in that Hospital so I got the news first hand when I came round.
Speaking of round. Open the crew bar steward! first round is on me.

Is "under the knife" a euphuism for being half cut? :pint::pint:

On the first adult occasion possibly (I had been under for my appendix around 10 or 11).

(E-S not so common, 2 failed and 1 successful laying open of fistula. Arthroscopy on Stbd knee (the one they're scrapping is port side).

Thanks a bunch Sir. W. If that happens to me, too, at least I will be able to dine out on it. Well...........

Isnt it something to do with brass bands?

Whacko also.

One is hoping V is doing as Nursie says. He can be quite headstrong at times.
A spoonful of Bushmills helps the medicine go down.

Had E-S suggested Rochas and in a somewhat larger volume than stated I might have swapped chiefie for nursie. As it is I am huddled in a nearby hotel room, distancing and mask wearing awaiting tomorrow's ceremonies which start with a light breakfast before 0500 with active hydration (H2O) encouraged until 0900 to arrive at the Spire 1100.

Breakfast? before 0500? Water? Strange people!

as long as when they are done with the dockyard work you dont have a Starboard list David.

Long John Varley has had a Stbd list every evening for years. If any particular Terrroir had a southerly breeze across its upper slopes he assumed a Port list (no pun).
Billy Bones please acquire a parrot asap but not one of them coloured ones that sh1t all over the Smokeroom.

Done yesterday afternoon. Awake throughout. Saw the bloody boney bits before they wheeled me back. On zimmer last night. On crutches today. Physiotherapy, would do well in torture chamber.

Deballasting difficult and messy. Crapping not yet urged. Future bulletins will be pinned to foremast.

(Tryping this with periodically compressed iced water cuff). Nurses urging water, complied, now I have low sodium as overdone it. Now in restricted water intake and domestic salt as medication. Told you the bloody stuff wasn't good for one).

Re: parrot E-S - stuff it.

Hope you aren't behaving like Frankie Howard in Carry on Doctor.

Parrot?
Maybe a Norwegian Blue would suit.

Good to hear the worst is over David. Fluid intake should be restricted to only the finest vintage Port till further notice.

Pining for paracetamol.

2 Panadol and a light breakfast. Make sure you get a script for Vimovo before you are discharged and lay off the booze for a few days.
You could still make the IOM Olympic Croquet team, you're still a youngfellow.

Hmmmmm I must say that parrot that ES brought was very tasty if a tad on the chewy side but the sage and onion stuffing was delicious. Squeek and Eric had a leg and a wing each but as usual I went for the breast.

One wonders what other culinary treats ES has in store, perhaps fricassee of Bat or some horses douvers with some of those little sausages on sticks with cheese and pineapple.

One must confess despite all my training as an injuneer ES makes a far better chef than a spanner monkey.

why for you need a contraceptive? I thought it was your knees receiving attention, although you refused the offer of my greasy nipples.:very_sad:

Paracetamol is quite an effective contraceptive, you put one in your shoe and it makes you limp however with your obviously dodgy landing gear one would have presumed such artifice would have been unnecessary :paper: