Well the creep could have been 12 yo. His voice, unlike his fingers, had not broken. Can one use a damp cloth to get blood stains off ivory?

Sorry, Farmer John --- have been AWOL over the weekend. Camping trip with no WiFi, rain, and soggy firewood -- just like the old days --- DYB, DYB, DYB, - DOB, DOB, DOB, ARKALA, Etc.

Count me in for the current shindig. Triple Cuba Libre par favor, Senor. :pint:

Also, it appears that there has been so much bitching and complaining over the weekend, that nobody has noticed that we have arrived in Hawaii with our cargo of sand and top secret documents. :(

Of course we knew we'd arrived. It is just that with a bang like that no one wanted to be about when P&I came aboard.

Bringing sand to Hawaii is like bringing coals to Burton on Trent.

I didn't know Beryl Burton lived on a river. She may well need some best anthracite for her stove. :confused:

We new we were in Hawaii when we smelled the whiff of Spam and Pineapple fritters. What has any pig done to deserve that (if it really is pig).

Camping is not the same since gas cooking, no-one ever cuts their foot with an axe any more. Mind you, I suspected that some did it to get off the camping. Camping in the Lake District at Easter many years ago, the milk froze solid in the tent. It was a fantastic trip though, wish I could do it now.

Nothing to cut with the axe, do you say. Sparky, m'fingerless lad, just go an give Farmer J a hand would you? (well what's left of one, anyway).

This was a special kind of sand which I gather they are using to make refractory cement for the boilers in their Navy laundry. Takes a lot of laundering to get all those Yankee uniforms as white as snow. Besides, who are we to question why we are doing something as long as we are paid handsomely for it? :)

This was a special kind of sand which I gather they are using to make refractory cement for the boilers in their Navy.

Must be a 1950's Yarrow 3 Drum. Is it a museum? Or fired on coal? These pineapple munching surrender monkeys are very backward, even FJ and BB and TA should be able to impress their womenfolk.

Impress their womenfolk? We have our cutouts to man the rigging, scrub the hawse pipes and dance hornpipes, I can't see Hawaiin vahines doing that.

Farmer John, if you can get the cut-outs to string our "festive" multi-coloured lights throughout the rigging and the palm trees on the garden deck, I can arrange to have a local hula group aboard to enjoy an impromptu luau.

We,ll just have to keep E S from trying to "harvest" their grass skirts with his lawn mower. The girls, I suspect, will be much more inclined to have them quietly removed later after some Mai Tais and some exotic hip swinging. :supercool: :supercool:

I may have a lawn mower but Tmac has a battery strimmer which is much more insidious indeed no maiden is safe. Mai Tais will not cut any ice, if there is any ice. Where is McCloggie, I'm missing him.

Talking to a lady at work about holidays a few years ago when Hawaii (or was it Tahiti?) came up. I said to her that I could imagine her in a couple of half coconuts and a grass skirt. Couldn't get away with it these days.
I would have settled for a pair of hedge clippers.:curtain_call::wave:

Tom, consider it done.

Nail clippers for the real thrill of anticipation.

No. Both Maidens and rope are needed if you have a garden slope to mow. With either strimmer or a Thorneycroft job it is easier for one's good lady to complete her duty if she is gradually lowered down the slope by her beau. A lucky man it is to have a tree at the top to take a round turn out of the tether to further lessen his toil.

(Method: Late Capt. Andrew Douglas)

We are in Hawaii :huh: feck sake I was told we were going to HULL !!! so I stayed below. Bloody deckie crew never tell us 'umble injuneers where we are going, just drag us along with them :bad_mad:

I'll bet Sparks knew all along the destination 'cause he has a bloody window to look out of :paper:

Hawaii eh? what a bummer that is, grass skirts everywhere and the strimmer is broke (don't ask) the clippers are blunt and some bar steward nicked my lawn mower. Fed up so if anybody wants me I'll be in the bar but it better be a bloody good reason to bother me :cloud:

AH HA !!!!! soooooooooooo the plot thickens, and where pray did you acquire said piece of equipment? :smoking:

Pierrotte, Poiriut, Poriuoit... yon Belgian defective has bugger all on me :chuckle:

So you didn't log that thump when that short fellow was on the bridge? Now you say he was Belgian as well - should he not have been using a crate of Godiva to peer over the dodger?

Grass skirts? Where is my bottle of antihistamines? Can't see anything when my eyes are watering, and don't ask about the sneezing.

Tmac, sorry to bother you, but I've found a barrel of 20 year old Black Bush in the well under the port prop. shaft. Having some plasticos deliver it to the bar for you to sample for quality, etc. :)

Dear goodness, do we still have whirly bits? I thought we sold those off to make copper bracelets.

Ah Tmac, come on in and sit down. Steward! whatever Mr Tmac wants on my tab please.
Nice to see you found time to visit then bar Chief. We dont see much of you with all you have to do down there.
Local ladies dance team comming aboard in about an hour to give us a culturasl dance display. Should be good to watch

Tmac, perhaps you should get your hearing aids checked?? I think we mentioned that the injuns were in the HULL. So it follows that, as long as you are aboard, you are always in HULL, no matter where the HULL is.

Anyway, welcome to the bar - please avail yourself of all the fine drinks, tab nabs, finger food, etc. Girls along shortly (or should that be grass skirtly??) :hippy: :hippy:

Hull? Might explain the smell of fish but I would have thought a bit chilly, yet, for anything but long-jills, gloves and galoshes.

Mini bus aproaching alo9ng the Quay. Might be the dancing girls lads!