Well, perhaps if I were, how shall I put it? Built 'less sailorlike', then such a manoeuvre would be less painful should I attempt such to-ing and fro-ing.

This thread has taken a turn for the worst. But I'm reassured because Tmax didn't feel it necessary to add his tuppence worth, Ulster once again maintaining standards.

course all set for Dublin Guinness works. Iron mike on the wheel. Radar alarms set. Cut outs on look out. Cruising at 20 knotts.

Shooush, FGS don't let Mr V read the "G" word as it will start him frothing at the mouth and then tell us all about his fling with Ena Sharples. Mackeson my hole, it's dishwater hence the slogan, "Guinness is good for you and Mackeson isn't".

BB don't forget Arthur Guinness isn't a one horse town, he has a palette of beverages for the discerning tippler and I'm sure there's an offering that will tempt the most ardent dishwater swiller ashore. Parley Vous.

Harp lager - That was one tipple that oft passed my lips in days gone by.
I discovered on one occasion that the difference between a blue label and a yellow label affected one’s ability to stagger home.

Now now. Just because I gave up that black mortuary mop squeezing at the age of twelve doesn't mean I object to its native following. Just to it occupying innage that would be better innage were it to have matured in barrels for 5 years before voyaging over the bar of the Douro.

As for Harp. I am minded what a professional brewer reported before putting his Norseman lager on the market. He was reported in the press (eagerly awaiting its release) that it was not yet quite ready ".... as it still had too much flavour". He has told me since that this is not quite what he meant. Maybe not but suitably damning of pissner marques in general.

Ahhh the old Harp lager.....:pint: reminds me of making love in a canoe.....it's fu*king near water. :wink:

It seems I have to remind ES of the famous Belfast drink.... A Wee Willie and a White Horse, often partaken of in the Edinburgh Castle in York Street. :thumb:

Ah to be sure now Murphys stout was not too bad on a night out.

I found Beamish drinkable.

I thought that was a museum :applause:

No, it is something which is not quite a beam, but nearly so.

Strangely it was not far from that excellent eponymous museum when I was introduced to it. Alan Brewster of TDE, where I was playing proper super for a bit as the proper proper super had had a heart attack, took attending supers for snooker on Wednesday (if I remember right). The club had that up and I enjoyed it.

Today is the Queens big day, let's be nice to one another. Let's agree that all alcoholic drink is nice but some is nicer than others. All food from The Raj is nice and the portrait of the Head of State was never as dignified when we sailed Foreign Flag.

Another bit of good news, Arlene Foster can now call our Tmac "Tommy" rather than "Sir" ; democracy in action.

But but....I think she spelled it CUR ES.
No nick names from me, I will always call him Chief.
Best Chief engineer i have ever sailed with.

Happy Birthday Sire, and lang may yer lumb reek.... or as we say here in Norn Iron, "may you be safe in heaven ten minutes before the Devil knows you're dead"

Parrrrrtaaaaaay for all in my funnel suite, booze and nibbles provided however be careful of Nibbles as he tends to scratch especially when he is picked up by the fuzz.

Special delivery of imbibing fluid for the party, Okell's for David, I was asked if I required Old Peculiar for David but I said he seems normal to me. Flagon of the mountain dew for ES, stick him in a corner with a straw in it and peace will reign for the evening. Sir William copious amounts of Guinness and Champagne for you, well the champers is for Irene but I'm sure she will share a glass or three. I'm driving so I'll just stick to the Black Bush..... Slante. :pint::pint::pint:

Very nice too Chief. Thank you for your kindness and excellent hospitality.

I am wondering if maybe we would be wise to stick to Home trade limits till we get a roll back on fuel prices or if we should lay up somewhere for while.

Maybe even moor alongside a tanker that has an inebriated crew and suck there cargo down a bit.
I see one of Rowbottoms is moored up river. I suppose we could moor alongside and feed them Poteen for the night. The cut outs know what to do after dark.

While wishing to be included in wishing of Sir W best lum reeking I regret that an Admiralty Marshall has just boarded with a writ for reeking of lum within harbour limits for too lang.

As for the peculiar compliment, all I can say is that the medical opinion that my kidney cyst was almost normal is the next kindest one but also no nearer to the mark (and better Bushy's than Okell's although if kept well both are good and, dear deity not home trade - HM's adjacent treasury will be after me for tax)).

Dear David, If you're worried about tax I suggest you emigrate to the Isle of Man. A damp island full of shady people. You'll fit in without much plastic. Good Luck.

Best wishes BB.:applause:
Your usual birthday gift is in the mail.
Might take a while as not many ships call at Mundrabilla these days for some reason.

I don't think you are following the news E-S. If you want a vaccine for your diseased monies London is the place to get it. Those with really heavily besmirched wallets find too little here to entices them over (not claiming that absolutely none make it across). Those of us who fled HM's adjacent government when she asked Mr. Wilson to hold it for her for a year or two are avoiding not evading (again not absolutely all these shipmates have obeyed every one of the rules as they evolved but the Vs did not find them too onerous to stick to).

Does not YM's photographic tableau explain the absence of callers with commendable efficiency?

I knew that there had to be a reason David. Why didn't that occur to me?
Now that I think about it, it has also kept Paddington Bear from visiting too but he is probably too busy having tea with HMQ. (What a stroke of genius that was!):applause:
It has also successfully precluded ES from visiting so there is a plus to everything after all.

I don't know YM. He has a penchant for drinking stuff that is black. If it runs at a relatively low temperature I would keep it in the 'fridge to make sure he doesn't take a fancy quaffing it.

Have I missed a birthday? Why wasn't I informed?
Paddington Bear! Isn't HM a bit of a card?
Now that the hub-bub is over is it acceptable to call her Brenda again I, must check with Sir Arlene and Hislop. Joined the street party at my London Condo in Delamare Terrace, all a bit flat until Pol Roger appeared, brother of Brendan and a sound chap. Mundrabilla is a bit of a backwater nowadays caused by the dockers being bolshie and refusing to discharge toilet bowls, yes, toilet bowls that they chunder and boke in after a few icy cold Swans.
Let dear old Boris be an example to us all, honesty and decency will get you nowhere, and fucK the begrudgers and the poor and do not give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free because they're heading for sunny Rwanda. And Jeremy Corbyn is to blame. And Ken Livingstone. And Rayner the commando.

D’you feel better now?
(and it’s Betty, not Brenda).

Are you quite sure? I have it on good authority ES is on first name basis with the Pope :wink:

The Pope…
Which one, Frankie or Benny?

Well, I don't know the name of what he's had too much of but I will still lay odds that its colour was black.

The Big Yin says it is green.

It's Brenda.

List of people and organisations frequently parodied by Private Eye


This is a list of some of the people and organisations most frequently or famously used as a source of humour or target of insult by the British satirical magazine Private Eye.

The Royal Family

Queen Elizabeth II is often referred to as "Brenda", and the Prince of Wales as "Brian".[2] This is a result of the 1969 BBC documentary Royal Family, after which the magazine gave each member of the Royal Family working class nicknames, as though they were characters in a soap opera. The Duke of Edinburgh was "Keith", Princess Margaret was "Yvonne" and Diana, Princess of Wales was dubbed "Cheryl".[2]

Ah, so it seems that my literary input is somewhat deficient, not being a reader of Private Eye - I have picked up the odd discarded copy over they years and browsed it, but that is about it.
I will, of course, bow to your much superior knowledge in such matters.

For some reason the term ‘Betty and Bubble’ and their boy ‘Big ears’ seems to loiter in my mind.

Two newly learned domestic hints I should pass on.

If you don't want to carefully nuke a bowl of spinach to accompany a decent stew that turns out to be a decent curry then make sure you label what you put in the freezer.

If you wonder that the ball of one of one's newly installed ballcocks is held on to the arm of the device only by virtue of it never operating at an attitude where it would fall off (either held by floating or against the bottom of the cistern) then wonder no more. It can and does come detached and the resulting overwhelming of the overflow can all but bring down the dining-room ceiling.

(Not to mention the wet feet when paddling along for one of the night time pees).

It is said that these things go in threes. So I expect the next hour or so will bring about a spectacular defeat at chess - mine. That or perhaps a Red Arrow will turn rogue and bomb M'Lady's garden where I am invited this evening to watch them.

Heigh-ho! says Anthony Rowley.

why dont we check the ports on the north coast of France. I am sure Mr Varley might approve of that

The RN regard the RAF chaps as acting superior, being lazy buggers and crabs in general but everyone is an admirer of the Red Arrows. The Memsahib and myself will turn out to watch them in Bray on 24 July.

Q. What has the Republic of Ireland and Isle of Man got in common?

A. Neither of us pay a halfpenny into the coffers to fund the RAF and the Red Arrows.

The Common Purse does indeed pay for those services that the UK does or must provide on our behalf (defence, statutory responsibility for H&E regulation, consular and diplomatic representation etc.) as do VAT receipts (split 70/60000). There was a state fiddle until recently where the Island inflated its population figure (upon which the VAT split is based) by including exaggerated estimates of visitors. We were rumbled.

Presumably the Red Arrows come into that equation which is why we usually get a show over TT. I can only imagine that their touring of enemy occupied Hibernia is aerial reconnaissance.

They`d turn up at the opening of an envelope.

How do you know there`s a pilot in the room ?
Don`t worry, he`ll tell you.

Now, the BBMF, fine bunch of men.
And all (mostly) done with Merlins.

The M.P.DA. well worth a mention here...(master Port Drinkers association) of which our Mr Varley is a time served member. Dont try drinking him under the table or you will loose.

BBMF? Black Bush Mechanical Fraternity?

Battle of Britain Memorial Flight.

(The medics still seemed more concerned with my single uninhaled nightly havana than my single nightly bottle of port).

Lets head for Cherbourg. Have a day or three there before moving on to a Port worthy of our visit from my fine crew.

But I already have a port worthy of a visit. Just not quite as much as there was yesterday but still more than there will be before I start breakfast tomorrow. Where Cherbourg figures I know not, but anticipate some jolly good cheese.