Nothing worse than a foremast light stuck up your Jacksie.

Does Sir.W enforce a retirement age? Got my post lockdown dental appointment just today. I am too high risk to be examined in the top floor surgery (they are on three floors), I must avoid toffee and other sticky things to eat and should lightly crush any tougher nuts before trying to eat them.

I am to go again in January - anyone got a spare foremast light? I have a home in mind for one.

Crushed Nuts must hurt.

Oh dear David you do seem to be having a rough time of it good Sir.
not to worry though as our tour driver has a wheelchair in the boot for the bigger sites that we may wish to visit on our tour.

Oh, Squire Varley in his tweed jacket and waistcoat sucking a Werthers Original. Pass the sick bag Billy. I think all those years in Glasgow eating Forfar Bridies and deep fried Mars Bars washed down by many pints of Dryborough Heavy have taken their toll. Mole-Grips are my answer.

Aye! I can tell from all the rounded-off boltheads.

(The family has always believed in the string and door handle method of extraction. Belief, however, is not practice).

I can sympathise with anyone having teeth problems. I had false teeth since the age of fifteen. just 6 of my own lower front. I still have those as no dentist can deaden the nerves with multiple injections. I have to make arrangements to be admitted to hospital for a general anaesthetic to get them pulled eventually.

Deaden the nerves, deaden the nerves, Tmax will advise half a bottle of Black Bush followed by half a bap wey shugar on the tap and Bob's yer uncle.

A Shergar bap! My, he's lasted well in the 'fridge.

How about a little BLACK DRAFT.

It's his teeth John not his Duke of Argyles.

Oh careful, Black Draught leads to Back Draught....Open the ports lads domeones on "IT"

Is the Isle of Man, a Crown Dependency or Protectorate or just a parasitic growth off the coast of England, entitled to field a team at the Commonwealth Games?
Idle talk around the better pubs in Douglas centered on the fact that their legendry Croquet Team (aka Varley's Chosen Few) were out of favour with the Committee and that Hopalong Varley was malleting his balls with a wiggle thereby imparting an illegal top spin and gaining an unfair advantage.
I will put my name to any Petition to the Tynd Thingy to get the team re-instated. Come On chaps lets all rally around poor old Mr V.

If Mr Varleys team do not play we could manoeuvre across the harbour entrance, partially submerge and block the Harbour till they do. Wouldn't take a lot to swing round and head for Douglas with our "Big Red Button"

I think we compete to be in the GB team for our part in the Commonwealth Games. We bat for ourselves in the Island Games. Those who live in a rebel held, Pope and potato rich environment should not be the first to cast stones.

(We plan to play on the 7th - visitors welcome. This year my team is losing against my last employer, or more accurately against my last employer's 13 year old demon grandson. I had hoped adolescent ganglification would ruin his eye for a year or two, sadly not. My only hope now is that he has discovered the fairer sex). I don't know if we would find a berth form GD at the moment there seems to be several small but ugly blocks of flats bobbing about, must have missed TT or early for GP.

very disappointed in the TT this year. I spent hours staring at the screen tying to spot a bearded gentleman with a bottle in one hand and a large Havana in the other remonstrating over the noise of souped up motorcycles screaming passed his house.

He's the large guy in the sidecar.

And there's more good news, Abakebraba have applied for planning permission for an 88 seater kebab shop on Nimby Road in Douglas.

I have no complaint about motor-bicycle noise. It is only for a few days a year.

Were the great unwashed and Jeunesse Doree alike to enjoy their pre- and post- midnight Kentucky fried McMuckburgers on the same annual cycle I would view them with as much sanguine tolerance as any passing Dalai Lama could possibly want.

As for Abu ben Adhem's application for a Sheeshshop, a tribe of 88 needs no increase. Quite the reverse in my opinion.

(Large? Woke bastard, fat is the word. Bottle, yes. Large Havana, no. Too much droolie waste, Petit Royales are about my ideal).

Lets just say a tad chubby. I'm a great believer in the saying that anyone who calls a spade a spade should be forced to use one. (Mr Wilde). Petit Royales are acceptable in society but you really must introduce your jaded palate to the joys of fast food. You won't look back.

There speaks a man of wisdom, a denizen of Longs Chippy in Sandy Row no less. Many an altercation he took part in when some miscreant ventured to steal one of his chips.:really_mad: Not for nothing was he known as the terror of Hope Street.

I must have lived a sheltered life as the only fast food I can recall on that barren rock in the Irish Sea was a wallop round the chops with a Manx kipper.:big_tongue:

Were we to have a Wendy's. Like the one in Golden Leaf Mall, Charleston. Then I would have fed myself to death by now. I used to stock up on quarter pounders with cheese to last me half way back to Le Havre. The only damage that this did at the time was my relations with cook.

As it is, the Government is asking for public opinions on introducing a portmanteau word that would more economically describe our fast food vista to the unfortunate visitor. The best one is already taken as it is widely used to combine 'bowel' and 'movement'.

Hold the Front Page.

Hose pipe ban on IOM. Croquet Club in turmoil.

Oh no! and Mr Varley was going to cut his lawn and water his vegies today as well.

A sad crop of broad beans already harvested (yield not taste which was unparalleled). Croquet will not be dry regardless of weather. Presence of Sister-in-Law might mean that it is slightly drier than normal.

(Potatoes in 'elephants feet', which my people think easier for the old geezer to harvest, have done their thing and lie ready for the taking. I did not tend the grape vine, again ! This year so I doubt a good crop even with hosepipe).

I thought he was the hope of Terror Street ???

August Bank Holiday Monday here in the Protocol Protected isle of Ireland. Isn't life just grand, bit of sunshine and an MNOPF Pension.
By the way there is a crisp tenner to anyone who can explain the Protocol to me.
Didn't your girls do well in the Association Football match against the despicable Hun with their empty gas cylinders and their dark foreboding team strip. Go Chloe.

I don't usually watch games on TV. On this occasion I did, only to be thoroughly disappointed. I was told that footballers swapped shirts on the wicket after the goal stumps had been drawn.

(And you'll have to pay more than that to have the proctological mystery explained).

proctological?? some kind of backward thing is that? some strange things going on in northern paddy land. A Bog Trotters initiation perhaps.

Captain Sir can we have less of the northern paddy land and Bog Trotters and a bit of realisation that us BT's have provided decent work for many tens of thousands of people from the Phillipines who have similar terms and conditions as Irish Citizens. Redirect your spleen at Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and UAE, if you dare. Do not let V's petty prejudices colour your normally sound judgement.

No more Mr Nice Guy.

My spleen is a qibla finder? No wonder it is irritated by the post prandial Port. Is Kuwait near enough or do I need a compass adjuster?

As for drawing a comparison between BT's and HLM Philip II's Asian subjects I suppose there is a lot of F on F uncivil squabbling however it is not usually over potatoes or Oliver Cromwell.

Come back Oliver Cromwell all is forgiven :kiss:

Thought our Philippine over seas workers went there to Be teachers and Nurses. an Interesting point is that pinoys going to the UK get well looked after but UK ex-pats coming here get SFA and they say its a reciprocal country.

Let us say 'as well looked after as our own'. We remain prejudiced and we remain largely uncaring of the unwashed end of society except to use as a ball to kick around between every government and its loyal opposition.

Enough of this gay banter. All we are doing is giving V ammo to scatter gun us all. It's true Oliver Cromwell took a bit of a dislike to the Irish but he had no great love for a lot of his own countrymen, discuss Charles One.

Gay bantering eh? Save me a comely youth. Not too tender 'though. My brass bound bum stretcher has come down with de-zincification and the Black and Decker is a bit industrial for the novice and there's no fun for any party if one splits.

Splits eh! saw a young girl upside down a pole do that once.

From Szczecin?

no, in soho

Was she the one firing ping pong balls into the pint glass? :big_tongue:

I seen it on Opportunity Knocks or Britain's Got Talent. Great family viewing and a welcome boost for Table Tennis.