Thanks ES.
Helpful and practical as ever.
Took your advice re getting the Bunker C onto the shovel but, as a matter of interest, did your 'Ag Walla' happen to mention how to get it off the shovel short of burning the shovel too?
Think that perhaps I will stick with coal!

Similar to a run ashore with FJ or BB, a smear of KY Jelly will help. The very thick Bunker C will slide off your shovel and into the furnace. Coal is a so 20th Century fuel, google, "A. Scargill" for confirmation.

20th Century - that's me!
I knew that I had missed something but don't much fancy cooking my eggs and bacon on a shovel greased with KY Jelly.

Hopefully amusing aside. Friend of mine has capitulated to infirmity and now on oxygen (bottles for some reason, not generator?).

This, evidently, calls for personal introduction by qualified pharmacist. As we all know use of Vaseline on the fittings forbidden and this point made firmly by attending gentleman. What I didn't know was that the recommended lubricant is KY Jelly. A point made equally firmly to my friend and attentive wife who then dissolved in giggles to the immediate detriment of the oxygen demand.

:applause::applause:

Tom, consider the GD to be firmly in my hands, before you depart, can you clearly mark which is the bow and which the stern? Apart from that, I think we will be fine.

I wish you a very pleasant trip, seeing the littlies succeed is a great pleasure. Even when they really are not littlies any more.

Injuneers are real men, we put sand in the KY Jelly to increase the friction during grinding motions. :shock:

Never, NEVER stand in the way of an injuneer and their thirst, many a poor matelot has been trampled to death in the stampede. Further as us injuneers built the transporter thingie we each have personal divec...devesic....dvise.... things wot make it work on our wrists. :quill: One poof and we are gone :yawn:

Oh dear, Looks like the plasticos will have to go then

Injuneers, why do they keep sending their wrists to places? Must be to give them a rest.

Memo to self: must take stock of where we stand, personnel wise. "Wise" is probably not the appropriate word but lets continue.
TA is on leave, touring the untourable, woods and trees and mountainy men and their undesirable women and things that are only aching to eat you, grizzleys and crocodiles and polar bears and spiders.

FJ is in "Command", well I never. And me a huge supporter of British Tickets, shiver me timbers.


And Billyboy now 1st Mate or Chief Officer as he has taken to calling himself, he's due for a fall. And not from grog.

Varley has taken to searching Lidl for an auto-start stomach pump whose innards will not be corroded by full strength Gripitini, we wish him Goodspeed.

My old china, Tmac, has taken the absence of TA to let his wee Belfast Hard-Nut personality re-appear and is headbutting all he meets, a Glentoran Kiss.

Red 17 is behaving like a Teaser in a stud farm, just a wee pop up the gangway and off again once all the crew shows interest. (Lots of interest)

Thank God I'm sane and to prove it to myself I have swallowed the keys to the main engine and will pass them only when Mr Mundrabilla joins and takes charge of the boilers.

So there.

Wash your mouth out young man...Glentoran....!!!!!:yawn: Crusaders if you please, we aren't called the Hatchet men for nothing....:chuckle:

North Belfast born, bread and buttered :wave:

North Belfast borders East Antrim, as I recall from O-Level geography (failed).

I am going to build a wall, a big wall, the biggest wall in the world.

And you are going to pay for it.

All our passengers are aboard and are making themselves known to one and all, please adjust your dress as a refusal often offends. We will sail at Midnight GMT, aiming towards Namibia if my little school atlas is right. We have about 18,000 miles to travel, maybe more if we go round the outside. It is chilly here at the moment, which is strange as we seem to be in Argentina.

Our Plastico stewards are ready to serve a welcome aboard feast, roast Swan, spitted Boar and jelly and custard. Standbye at 2300, give the Injuns a polish and inflate the starting thingy, the number of turns on the elastic at present are 25,000 approx so keep the treadmills going.

I'm just going to get a vote on which is the front and which the back just to be sure.

Any comments about my ticket will be punished by keel-hauling, 2 passes side to side.

Damn, what a fool I am, the sharp end goes first, and the whirly end pushes us along. That's a real clue.

Yes FJ, these referendum things never quite go the way you plan, it seems.

the whirly end pushes us along.

The whirly end is more whirlier than you give it credit for. Beware, it may bite you.

I don't intend to push anything of mine into it. Are you mad?

The trick is to get it down to one simple question as we have done with Brexit. Simple, no problems.

Boilers. Are they those big cylindrical fiery things downstairs where we burn the secret codes, incriminating documents and the galley spoils?
Oh dear. Looks like sails and cold showers for a while - still trying to master shovelling Bunker C even with the addition of KY Jelly ........
The cold showers may well have the added advantage of protecting our lady passengers but, of course, there will be sufficient hot water for their showers. Perhaps we could share? Are they even still aboard, just otherwise occupied or have I been in the wrong place at the wrong time? (Story of my life) :jester:

Ah good morning Sister Agnes. Nice to be up and about early dont you think. (I forgot to tell the crew that our female passengers are all Nun's Readers heh heh)

Was Marianne Faithful once a nun?
Is she aboard?
What cabin?

I thought that they were penguins, but you can't fool me!

I knew that they weren't penguins when they brought some of those skimpy red knicker thingys down here to dry. :quill:

Ah, the sea breeze, with just a wiff of sanctity. Just a touch of Port, and the same for the course.

Attention Sisters (tannoy message) This evening there will be a tasting of our special and exclusive beverages which are brewed and distilled aboard the golden dreamer.
Most have unique names too!
You are all welcome to come sample them. Thank you.

(I saw empty Gin Bottles coming out of portholes readers)