Yawn....stretch....pharrrrrrt
Must get up and see whats been happening while I have been in the Sick Bay.
Hmmmmm nothing in the log. (Looks out porthole) ship not moving. Nobody in the Crew bar!. very cold and windy day. Nobody on the Bridge.
Might have to put the old girl into Lay-up at this rate

Its bloody cold up here in the Focsle, ought I single up?

WTF you doing in the sick bay? something tells me we should fly a yellow fleg or is that only for the pox? perhaps you have the pox, go and wash your hands you dirty little man. The Earl of Laxey will be horrified as his island is disease free (except for gout).

well there you go Readers. Engine Serang is on the ball. First up and about as usual. Well done ES. Let go forard! let go Aft. full ahead, revs for 15 knots. head for Douglas.
Steward! full English please plus coffee pot and the rum jar.

There'll be singing and dancing in the streets of Douglas tonight. The Noble Lord will be erect the marquee tent on his croquet pitch. Ladies, negative high heels. I'll bring my Bob Wills LP.
Tmax has just contacted us, he has organised the Field Marshal Montgomery Pipe Band to come across on a trawler from Portavogie and they'll Beat Retreat up and down the pitch, there won't be a dry seat in the house. Bring it on.

Only someone from Aberdeen would drink it with a spoon.

Aberdeen you say, no I don’t think my long lost ancestors came from that far north.

Not even a ground birding nest on the lawn until the snow has gone - when frosted the grass is damaged if disturbed.

I am not sure Ma ever banned heels to preserve the parquet but the good Dr Taylor doesn't allow them at his fancy gaff charity 'do's. The place is on the market for much mullah. On the eye; easy from the front, difficult from the back but, as it is said, "Chacun a son gout" (and the blood test indicated that my chacun was certainly not gout!).

No one with a beard drinks anything with a spoon.

Barlinnie perhaps?

George MacDonald Fraser apparently wrote all about them in 'The Steel Bonnets'.

Feck sake !!!! just back aboard from the annual bottom scrape and shaft stuffing and what do I find? the bloody injun room is a shambles, Squeek and Eric nissed as pewts comatose in the pump room. Turbines run down, steam leaks everywhere and ES conspicuous by his absence pinning a note on the bulkhead " feck this for a game of soldiers, I'm off to the pub" Even Lord Varley appears to have abandoned ship for a sojourn as DJ on Manx Radio, gives "moonlighting" a whole new dimension.

Doubtless our sainted owner Sir William may be found in the nearest shoreside hostelry sipping Guinness with a spoon while bemoaning the vagaries of life and having such a motley crew.

I can see that copious arse kicking is in order starting with the injun room crew, pass me my H&W shit kicker boots retribution is nigh.

Ah Tmac, come on in and sit yourself down. Miss! bottle of black bush for my chief engineer please.

Indeed I have the dimensions to dazzle should I moon. But I would not do it from Douglas Head - might be some sort of offence against navigational aids. Suggest our worthy chieftain of the plumbing race retune if he wants Manx Radio, I only appear as an advertisement for Bushy's (although Andy Wint lives next-door but one).

Not my fault - I didn't do it. Nothing to do with me, it just happened. Anyway I have been ashore on night shift playing trains.

If Pete Waterman set out to build a model of Australian Railways he would tip a lorry load of sand in his back garden, level it and lay a few rails. QED.

Tmax, get your muffler out and your piece box, you're back in business. Put your bowler (negative sash) on Stand By. The RFA had the last ship to leave the Yard and the first to return. Three Cheers for Richie.

Doesn't HHI still offer a one-stop ship-shop?

Has Tmac got a copy of class rules with the chapter on ice strengthening still in it?

HHI ?? Not a bother, as H&W workers said in the early 1960's: the Japanese, sure they're only wee Chinamen. And weren't we right.
A one-stop ship-shop is a dangerous concept, all our eggs in one basket. Far better to have the ship made from penny-packets of blocks fabricated in back sheds throughout the Realm and lorried and barged on the highways and byways to some second rate politicians constituency and cobbled together using yards of green steel. Makes you proud.
Ice cubes me bollix.

Only one rule in the H&W book "avoid the big icy lumps" :shock:

As a logistical exercise the two flat tops did demonstrate excellence but isn't there a heathen saying along the lines of "you can't get there from here". To paraphrase that, one might be able to do it but one shouldn't. The only reason to have sex standing in a hammock is because Britbunks and PaillasseGB haven't been just-in time. (let's hear it for Hyundaihammocks).

A one-stop ship-shop does not mandate a lonely-ship-shop.

Very sorry to hear that YM has lost his Prime Minister, Mr Ahern (Irish Connection??) ran out of petrol. He really should be driving an electric car rather than a gas guzzling Holden, although there appear to be no charging stations North or West of Geelong. My vote goes to the fragrant Mrs Gillard as she is less uncouth than her rivals and will keep Les Patterson in London. Chin up YM we've had 4 or 5 PM's recently and the pubs still open at 11 am.

And don't buy cheap iron rivets from Scotland.

Who gets that job ???
I know i`m new here, but i don`t remember that in the small print.

Just over heard a steward saying he/she wants to be in Hamster Jam! ...Weird lot they are.
Suppose we could grab a couple of run ashores along the Channel en route...any sugestions guys?

Better ask 2182 that one, Driver. I know his man Favesham has a testicle toaster in case we do the Murmansk run. If that is Peltier-effect based perhaps it's reversible for the tropics.

Testicle Tickler, get it right first time or you've made a balls of it.

We all had woolly ball bags in Harland and Bluff, down at the "deep water" there was a lazy wind, it went through you rather than round you. The ladies all had furry muffs to keep out the cold.

The things you learn every day never cease to amaze.

Testicle Tickler, :smoking: I know her, :o she was the first aid nurse in H&W :chuckle: had a grip like a Scotsman on a five pound note.

I feel the need for heat. give me a great circle for somewhere hot.

as you have been a good lad for a while you may choose our next port of call. Nothing from the agent so choose away young man.

Ah Billy Boy you've called my bluff again; what the hell is a Great Circle? With the Noble Lord and the Right Honourable onboard I meant Great Circus. Which it is.
I've spent many years, happy years, sailing under the Curacao fleg so lets give her a kick on air and head off to Happy Valley.

Latitude: 12.169570
DMS Lat: 12° 10' 10.4520'' N
Longitude: -68.990021
DMS Long: 68° 59' 24.0756'' W. it is then. Might even book us all into the Avila beach hotel for a few nights. make a nice break for us all eh!
We can get a berth in Wilemstad with shore supply so we can rest our jennies.

Leave Melbourne out ES. Friday's forecast max is 17° C. It's the 'middle of summer' and the temperature should be at least double that.
So much for global warming. :big_tongue:

It'll stop youse sucking the great artesian basin dry.

Bank Holiday weekend here in Ireland. Hip, Hip..........
I'm not turning-to until Tuesday.
And I want Irish Stew (the white version) and a pint of Guinness for lunch.

Not possible - plastic straws have just been banned. :cloud:

Indeed. YM.

When I click on Forums then click on Unread Posts all I get is Sparkies Quiz. This has been happening for about 5 days. Is this a technical or social problem? I think I should be told.

Social, I suggest.
As I type this there are 6 'guests' viewing - They can't respond because they are not signed in.

Come on you lot, don't just sit there staring at your screen.
Come up the gangway and sign the articles and join in.

"all I get is Sparkies Quiz"

What more would you want?