If that engine has been worked on by the locals, it's probably a Chrysler block with a Ford crankshaft and Pontiac heads. Could have Nash pistons and Oldsmobile connecting rods. Devilishly ingenious these local mechanics.

Main Engines on UMS as Tmac is spending all his time in the Steering Flat guarding a 1000 Flagon barrel of his special brew which he dispenses to one and all at his bonfire, sorry BBQ, on the eve of the Twelfth.
It is his contribution to the peace process, after a few schooners of his hootch only the strongest are able to stand up let alone march the following day. Last year TA did not appear until the 14th and Varley was not seen for a week. Would that we had a Twelfth every month, the ship would be a happier place.

We do have a twelfth every month it is what stops the thirteenth from slipping back.

It seems I have been taken at my word and some reliance is being placed on the growing of Hibernian praties in Manx soil although I have a sneaky suspicion that none returned from that heathen outpost of what should still be Empire because this visit was done as a foot passenger.

(Do we ever have passengers without feet I ask myself)

' .... (Do we ever have passengers without feet I ask myself) ....'

Some of the nuns did - I saw them.

Footloose and fancy-free is a phrase I have heard used (although perhaps not in the context of a closed order of nuns). Footless and pantyfree I have not. Are you sure you were not unseeing things?

It wouldn't be the first time of un-seeing things.

Yes - it did go round corners adding an admiral "G" force which we used to call a C.O.D. corner. (Come Over Darling !!) With no seat belts and a bench front seat, she would be laying flat on her back before she had any idea what was happening. :supercool:

NO we don't.

We have a 12th every month but only a twelfth in July.

It is quite obvious you didn't have the advantage of being born and raised in Norn Irn, poor boy. So sad.

Sometimes a Home Counties, Home Service upbringing can be a terrible disadvantage and when it happens it is all the more traumatic. FJ summon the Padre and the Doc and all the Nursing Corps to attend to the Wireless Shack, Depression has set in.

Oranges now is it? I am fed to the back teeth with the superiority of your damned potatoes and now it's something you don't even bloody grow for yourselves. I have a good mind to march for the banana (after all, Tilapa Tapper did do a month or two with Fyffes).

My Radio officer/electrician is not depressed. Disgustingly sober but not depressed.
Steward! Take this case of vintage port and a box of cigars to the Radio shack on the double.

I have just checked the engine under the bonnet of our new ship's runabout, we have definitely got a good one. Never knew Briggs and Stratton made a turbo V8. Good name.

Far be it for me to disagree with Sir W but to be found standing up should not be confused with positive sobriety (I agree a disgusting condition). Standing is possible when in negative sobriety. Especially when reaching for the in-watch bottle on top of the Globespan.

I won't turn down you kind offer, though, but I must have a look to why I can't start the bloody lawn mower.

OK Varley, we'll mow the lawn.

' OK Varley, we'll mow the lawn. '

Spin FJ ???
Are you, perhaps, a politician in your time ashore?
No doubt you will actually get your animals to mow the lawn. If you don't you should be a politician. :jester:

It seems that a lot of our crew are under the impression that because our '60 Buick Convertible has a Briggs and Stratton engine we will mow the lawn with it. Sacrilege indeed !!!!

Forget the grass cutting lads. Cut out No 4 been ashore and nicked 4 Goats.They will keep the grass down and we may have a decent curry out of one of them...LOL

Yum, but I insist it be called Mutton Curry on the menu. Berri ka Gose Curri-bat.

Western sensibilities must be catered for.

Hey, I had the sheep out on that! Never mind, a very "grassy" season. We are getting about 3 times as much forage as we had last year.

Mutton curry does taste very like goat. We had some goat curry recently. Someone has to eat them. I don't think any of you noticed. One person asked, but I told him he had to be kidding.

The other three have to go. You can have goats or gardens, but not both. The pod peas are doing well, broad beans are well in flower and the courgettes are like the front row of a brass band with the flowers.

No.4, take them back.

Had many a curry while at sea -- nobody ever mentioned what kind of curry it was --- just "curry"

In retrospect perhaps it was just as well I never asked what kind. :)

YEAH!!...Promote cut out No 4. He traded them 3 goats in for 3 cases of local Rum. Good man!

He traded four cases of rum to get the three goats!

Lawn mower repaired, you only had to ask y'know :thumb: just be careful with the pull starter spring. I had to manufacture a replacement from spring steel and one wrong pull will see you propelled over the rail nursing a broken wrist. Sorry about the power of the spring but all I had in the stores was supercoil material as ES must have raided the spare gear locker to fund his trip ashore :cloud:

Finally as a Coup de Gras (geddit :chuckle:) I have adjusted the motor on the jolly boat, anyone going ashore would be wise to wear the seat belts now fitted as 0 to 150 knots is achievable in 3 seconds :applause:

Ah, this is why I ended up serving communion in the Cathedral at the far end of the processional way when I was only going ashore for a beer at the dock gates.

I'll get the lads to haul the boat back.

4 cases of white rum (WR) = 3 goats (3G)

3 cases of local rum (LR) = 3 goats (3G)


By a mathematicchal process known as calcullas or trigonometry we can prove;

4 WR = 3 LR

Unless you shop in Aldi.

And on that bombshell i'll head off to meet Capt Morgan.


QED.