I get enough exercise during the night. The bathroom's quite a long corridor away.

Hi varley, welcome to the piss quick club. Can i put you down for chairman. Anyone else who wants to join just let me know, i think i hold the record time of 28.30 seconds on the 26 jan 1999 when the night temp was - 11. soon back in bed with a quick wipe on the wife's 7ft long sheepskin nighty i was soon asleep.

Off-Line for a few days, doing a 4 day tour of the Dunkirk beaches with a couple of colleagues. Fourth ttime with Leger Battlefield Tours.

when you stand at the waters edge at low tide and look inland...Its a wonder anyone survived a long hike like that.
Like lambs to the slaughter.

Reminds me of the old saying " If you can read thank your teacher, if you can read this in English thank a soldier":applause:

Dunno if this is true or not but it sounds just about right. Charles Degaulle when President of France allegedly remarked to US President Eisenhower that he wanted all foreign soldiers removed from France "does that include the ones who are buried there?" responded Eisenhower. :applause:

Bloody good point by Eisenhower.

Eyup varly, i see that Mark Cavendish has retired from racing, he was very good at bends and avoiding potholes, i hear he learnt those skills in Douglas dodging the horse poo on his bike.

Horse poo VG for roses and cheaper shovelled off the prom than bought. Therefore little left to bicycle over. Mind you at that speed he might not be able to stop before becoming a horse's arse stopper.

Can we all expect a comprehensive trip report in due course? :jester:

Don`t tell us who won though, I haven`t watched the final episode.

Did you know that Ken Dod's dog's dead?

No, but Sir W's quite good at picking a tune why not try humming it to him?

(Perhaps not while he is at the calliope, though, every toot aggravates the Chief's condenseritis).

Just later Trusty brawler. feeling a bit woozy from dodging all the Canine excrement around town on my Bike.
My Dog has a three kilometre walk and waits till he gets home before evacuating his canine bowel.
disposed of in a proper manner.

Eyup Billy bollox dont let the dog wander too far it may end up on a plate.

probably would here. some are quite partial to bar-b q Dog.

Don't take the bike to Paris then BB.:eek:

Eyup Billy boy, mind you don't catch your Kendo Nagasaki's on your crossbar.

Reminds me of when I was a Kid. Standing on the pedals going uphill when the chain broke. OUCH that hurt like hell. me Kends Nagasakis were never the same after that.

Report, Yes.
Comprehensive, No.

Far too much time spent in the Bar after dinner discussing strategy and tactics, most of which I've forgotten.

Eyup "when i get my moped back on the road" varley, how is the bike racing going over there?

M'Lord Varley doesn't demean himself with mopeds, he has minions for that sort of thing. No its the gold Roller for him, a personal gift from Mr Rolls and Mr Royce no less.

When the vehicle was delivered he found two golf tees in the glove box, on being advised they were to rest your balls on before driving he replied "feck me, you guys think of everything"

Tank yew I'm here all week.

Steward!...Lay up for a party in the PAX lounge. My 81st Birthday. Yes snacks as well if you please. Yu have been aboard here for long enough to know what everyone drinks and eats so I.ll leave it to you.
There is some strong Vintage cheese in my mini bar put that on as well.

Eyup Billyboy, hope i am invited, with you being 81 today it will be best not to ask too many ladies to your party as you need to get to 82, another tip is don't drink more than two pints as you will fall asleep in a corner and miss out on the cake. Hope you have a great day rgds rustytrawler.

Ah, so that’s what all the balloons and stuff are cluttering up the ship.
Cheers, your very good health and best wishes for a few more yet…

Best wishes BB for your 81st. Well done. :applause:
Your kind invitation to the PAX Lounge is accepted. I assume that there will be the usual abundance of Coke No Sugar and Vegemite sandwiches. :jester:

toasted bread with butter, vintage cheese and vegemite and thinly sliced tomato will laid on special for you Rusty Trawler.

YUK no tomato for me, or vegishite, i thought it was going to be a drink up?......hope you had a great day. rustytrawler.

BB you appear to have two birthdays every year so no need to overdo the fare. Chips for me, Roo Steaks for YM and steamed Galliard for RT.
What in the name of all that's holy is a Mini Bar? GD1 or 2 never had one, only fit for 2 star hotels.

Any chance of a pigs ear for me dog he loves a party.

Sir W, my apologies. I too was at a birthday party yesterday and so missed this extra set of congratulations. 81 too, no one boasting that mightily at our gathering, nonetheless weather and company excellent. Hostess rather petard hoisted as had sworn all to secrecy and told biddy-in keep day free so that he could have choice of treats for the day. He awoke hoping to steer a visit to the motor museum (Jurby) only to be told he was staying put till the cake had been cut (and the rest of us half cut).

Butchers bill so far this year is light. No fatalities amongst either racers or bike visitors. A few have come unseated but worst so far is some broken bones. Nasty car job on mountain Saturday with two in hospital. Another as yet scantily described accident delayed road closure on Sunday (first race-day). No racing yesterday - too many birthdays. Low cloud delayed start today and from the sound of things there may now have been a false start. Fingers crossed it will stay relatively bloodless.

(That is Sir Henry to you, Bahco-bonce, surely one plumber should not be so disrespectful to another?)

Eyup Billyboy, in six months time and your 81 1/2 birthday please dont invite varley, i saw him filling his pockets with fish eggs and the steward told me that there was two silver forks missing that i saw varley using as tyre levers when he had a puncture near the poxy wheel.

Couldn't have been me RT - It makes them taste funny and the smell is devilish expensive to have dry-cleaned-out. (Silver? do you think this is the Cunard?).

Mr Varley is no Silver thief....even after 3 bottles of Vintage port. however, a little Caviar on vintage cheese with biscuits has been known.

The Noble Lord a common Tealeaf.......... I rather think not, he's more a Fortnum & Mason man than PG Tips. Google IMarEST annual Swarry and watch F&M price spike.

His Lordship using tyre levers? One again thinks not, he has the Estate mechanic "Sittingbourne" or some such name, to repair punctures. Fish forks indeed.

There are other case's i could point to, what about the time when the ships cat went missing and was found at varley's house?.......Please ask yourself would you buy a car off him if so alls well. Varley also has a part time job maintaining fruit machine's in Peel could this be the reason he now pays for all his pub drinks with twenty pence piece's?

We do welcome cats (well, perhaps the incumbents and hens don't but I do). We do not, however, feed on the Beluga. I have been known to fettle gadgets when the appropriate tradesman needs expert guidance and might accept a friendly pint of Bushy's in exchange for my valuable contribution.

(20ps? Not even in Peel will you find a one armed bandit that expects so mean a customer. They do have a pub with resident cat, the Peveril).

You are on the right tracks ES, all my automobilling is done for me. No longer Grandma's Fisher (who she set up in his own taxi business when she downsized him) but altogether younger (without the same prospects!)

(I couldn't easily see self or companions on the bash's photos, rather lackluster this year in my opinion, but I am there somewhere)

As Mr Sassoon once said, "For though low down upon the list, I'm there: "In proud and glorious memory"—that's my due".

Indeed you're so grand one wonders if fish forks really have a plaice (sic) on your table, pukka Regiment Officer Messes do not use soup spoons or fish cutlery, much too common, akin to eating sandwiches or rolls or god forbid, wraps.

It was reported on I.O.M. radio this morning that varley has bought a dabber from the 20p shop and he's taking up the sport of bingo, good luck to him. All winnings going to the R.N.L.I.

Mona calling, Mona calling; WTF is a dabber? All that's needed for Bingo is a blue perm and nylon stockings down at your ankles

I dont know if varley is into that sort of thing?