Best of luck Tom (I will not put my bottom up, I don't want to be talked about but raise a glass I shall, filled with that recipe which will be a first). I will give you a short wave when the 24 hours is up. Wouldn't want my key hand going critical.

Good luck Tom, drinks on Varley in the lounge on your return.

All the Best TA.

I wouldn't put any money on V picking you up on SW, don't forget he missed all the radiation after Chernobyl. He was mentioned on the recent TV programme.

Thinking of you, Tom. I think we will all give you a short wave. Very good to see that Varley is buying the drinks till you get back.

Still need to sample a few more barrels full.

Have you ever been to one of V's drink party?
(Note I said Drink party NOT Drinks party). A subtle difference.
A small sherry and a slice of Mr Kipplings sultana cake is as good as it gets. Pound cake, NO, more like a ten bob cake.
A top ES tip: Get tanked up in your cabin before joining the party, you won't regret it.

A drink party is one at which the guests drink from arrival until 'carriages' (or, as Pa had printed, 'Stretcher bearers'). Quantity is not specified. Cake is not served at any drink party of mine but I usually do a line of cold sausages to titillate the drinking muscles.

If you want to be shown a good time come to me for drink.

If you want to be shown a good time only from a distance find you way to E-S, I understand his Madeira cake has seen a bottle of the stuff, but only at the same range.

If you just want a little Kipple then you, MacAndrew and Gunga Din can do that in the comfort of your own cabin with a drop of Night Nurse to see you up the little wooden companionway.

Dhhrrrink!

Have you ever been to one of the blessed Varleys swarrys, two phrases leap on to my tongue, "Full and Plenty" and "Fill your Boots". An array of drinks that would put the Queens Grill on the Queen Mary 2 to shame and more wee eats on a stick than a Buckingham Palace garden party.
And none of your dross, sausages from Wiltshire, scallops from Rick Stein in Cornwall and Mr K has been elbowed out by the saintly Mary Berry. And no cream was assisted by an aerosol.
On the beverage front Mr V insists on Bordeaux, claret is not good enough for his guests. Immediately before Carriages Pol Roger will be served at 8.5 C and then all hands will thank our host and then retire.
Legend.

Two phases? Damn you, I know single phasing when I hear it and I'd cut the frivolity until it was corrected (pole-slip I have not heard personally but have listened at the knee of those who have, despite some of them not knowing that they have!). I did not know that HM had been gifted a gorilla, I imagine he or she has been comfortably housed by the Royal Zoological Society at their London baboonery and play no part at Palace Garden entertainments. HM has, after all, a Boris to entertain her guests.

(The old taste buds still buggered - Malbec is about all I can taste other than Aldi's cheapo Champerfizz. I can, however recommend Andreas Meats for the bangers. No little sticks however, wipe fingers on the lawn - a greener alternative).

Suffice it to say "I'm back!" Drinks on Varley.

Thank you all, shipmates, for your good wishes. Scan was a pain as lying still on my back produced some sciatica which I hadn't experienced for a couple of years. Ouch!.

I should have a breakdown of the results, prognostications, etc. in about 5-6 days.

Oh! Yes! Drinks on Varley --- Pool deck?? :pint: :pint:

Thank goodness for that. Misbehaviour has been rife in your absence, V has had a series of dry-runs, or rather wet-runs to practice for your return but rather than drink he has been experimenting with a liquid called Malbec. Tmac believes it is an Argy concoction and calls it Chateau Malvinas, I wouldn't drink it otherwise.
Lets repair to the pool deck and wet our whistle, I believe Mrs Queen's staff were involved in the catering. Yum-yum and scrummy.

Welcome back skipper!

Now you lot behave, Tom's not 100% yet. so I dont want him in a bad mood and logging people.

Drinks? ..Pool bar eh! good show chaps. Count me in. It always seems to taste better when someone else is paying.

Cheers Mr Varley! Heres to radio/electrical officers everywhere.

"Heres to radio/electrical officers everywhere."

Oh no, that is too much, can we just leave them in the usual places?

Yes, the Pool deck, indeed. Fill 'er boots (Malbec, a grape, not only from The Argentine. One permitted variety in Claret. Anyway wouldn't that be Hacienda Malvinas).

Sciatica. Damn. I was going to knock you up one of those Magical Rummaging Inside scanners for your dayroom - to obviate the travel costs. I'll put it on hold until I have an anti sciatica modification (I think there may be one in Amateur Microwaving Monthly - can't wait to buy my copy).

Quite right. Not enough talent to squander it like grapeshot.

Radio Officers everywhere talking themselves out of a job.

What's that about flogging people ?? Did someone mention the cat ??? Got all excited to think that there was a little pussy about -- and then I remembered we still have our Russian spy aboard. Very comfortable in my quarters she tells me. :) :)

Her sister Olga is in my cabin and is keeping everything in good working order. Worryingly she tells me that her brother in TA's cabin is disguised as a female. Tread carefully Tom and stay away from Meat and Two Veg.

It was Willie Reid on Texaco Spain who, with a sigh one morning, exclaimed "Sparkie, it just hasn't been the same since they stopped letting us flog 'em!"

Dont make tings like they used to David. Things split too easy these days.

Rubbing in the salt afterwards! Oh the memories.

Don't I know it. Must be eating foreign muck...….Bugger there goes another. Steward!

Flogging is available in the injun room, you only have to ask :smoking:

In retrospect, I had experienced wet runs in the past on the odd occasion ----- but never dry runs. I think that is what we used to call constipation ??? :jump: :jump:

We appear to be gathering a scattered group of indignant fathers on the quay for some strange reason -- Suggest we sail tomorrow, go around the corner into the Bay of Biscay and up the Caronne to Bordeaux where we can fill the port #3 deep tank for Varley's benefit. We might have to exercise our shrinking mode a couple of times to get under the bridges but the natives will be unsuspecting as we have not been there before. Virgin territory as one might say. :)