Could be a Heinz 57 with that DNA.

Maybe an Alien, they say they walk amongst us.

We will meet many Aliens in Hull, some of them with DNA that is purple. Could it be the Humber water?

Eyup ES, was you a member of commander Brooks army of spies that twisted Hull trawlermans arms? i am going to look deeper into this, in the Hull fishdock archives i see that you were caught by plod smuggling cod and selling it at back a market.

No comment. Absolutely.

I never rated him either but Rod Grimsby and Cassowary never really caught on. The disastrous appearance on " The Good Old Days", on BBC 1 where he fell off the stage and Rods cufflinks got tangled in Barbra Windsor's bits and pieces rendered Leonard Sachs speechless and it was all downhill from there. So sad.

Was it Varley i saw playing the beer tray in the hangmans inn?

If so I would lay off the hard stuff (I can't play for toffee and unless it were to be a a pre G&S composition I wouldn't be attempting to).

The late, great, Shane MacGowan and some of the Pogues played the beer tray. They may of had a bit of a headache the following morning.

Just watched a two hour film about him on the bbc i player, lets hope he finally makes it to no 1 this Christmas, RIP.Shane.

Did you know that Varley is trying to cash in on Christmas, he has just opened his "elf on a shelf" stall at Peel market, good luck with that!....His sellotape stall failed as he opened it in Aug to try and beat the rush.

I dined in company of a fine Irish singer last night. The odds are certainly shortening on it getting there.

(Sellotape stall - never stay together with our climate. Anyway it would have been elf on a pole but the first batch was stopped for offending the latest porn restrictions - no way could they have been described as childlike - not with genitalia of those proportions)

Ihear that ES thought cop 28 is a follow up to heartbeat.

And there was me thinking it was a follow-up to Cop 27. I must get a bit of Cop-On.

And Vat 69 is the Pope’s personal wine - yeah yeah yeah

Wrong. It's Creme de Menthe.

vino calapso maybe?

(had a night on Pernod in Dieppe once. Cant remember much about it but I do recall the following day)

Wrong BB, Wrong. Billy Connelly told me the following story:-

I'm gonna tell you a wee story ES. There are two guys, two wee Glasgow guys, and they went on holliday, to Rome, and they were being tourists, you know. "Holy, hm, hm, another one over there." "Oh, that's great, I wonder who papered that ceiling, that's fantastic." Going around the place, looking at things. And the sun there in Rome was getting to them, you know. "Today the sun's beating down on my head." "It's beating down on mine as well, funny that, ain't it?" "Might as well go have a bevvy." And they will enter a wee bar, in Rome, you know, wandered straight up to the bar, saying to the barman "Hey Jimmy, give us two pints of heavy." He says "What!". In italian, you know. He says "Give us two pints of heavy, know what I mean." He says "We don't sell heavy in Rome, you know." "Oh, what a bore. What've you got there, I don't know anything Italian, baby." He says "You are welcome to anything you see here, you know" "Hmmm. Do you know anything." "No, I don't know anything." "I tell you what. What does the Pope drink?" He says "Well, he likes a glass of Creme de Menthe from time to time." "Gives us two pints of that, then." [???] Two green pints duly arrive. "Well, all the best. When in Rome, get it, 'when in Rome'." "What do you think." "It's a bit like drinking Polar Mints, ain't it?" "Ah well, who cares. Another two pints, Jim, no, keep your hand in your pocket, give us another two. My round. Same again. [On eight???] empty it."

They wake up in the morning, in a crumbled heap, in a doorway. Peed the trousers. Steam [???] And they've been sick, down the left side of the jacket. They have been shouting huey all night, right. "Hu-ey hu-e-ey" And occasionally Ralph. "Hu-ey. Ra-alph. Ralph. Huey." And it's green. Green huey or Huey Green, if you like.
In Rome, the two guys are lying in the doorway, and they are just getting awake, y'know. "Ohhhh. Ohh my head. Christ. Oh, I think I'm wearing an internal balaklava. Oh. Oh, my body's all sore. Ahhh! I cannot feel my leg!" "That's my leg, you [???]" "Oh, thank Christ for that. Got a fright [???] How are you feeling?" "I'm feeling kind of funny. I think I've had a tongue transplant. This one doesn't even seem to fit." "Jesus, they say the Pope drink that stuff. Not any wonder, they carry him about in a chair."

Billy connelly, yes he did tell alot of shite jokes. Last Christmas my grandson aged 10 was staying with us, he watched Mrs Browns boys on the tele in his bedroom, the next morning at the breakfast table he told his Grandma that he did not want a fecking boiled egg. I sloped off to the bathroom for a good laugh.

He was quite right. An Ulster Fry is the only acceptable breakfast over Yuletide.

Eyup billyboy have you been on the ready rub again?

Only use VIC Vapour rub mate. good for clear passages.

Just finished working out Christmas bonuses for you all. Usual (Expensive dry docking) over the Christmas period. Those wishing to spend Christmas at home may do so. I will be remaining on board as always to oversee the dockers at work on treble pay. we will be in the invisible dry dock in hull in a few days. Marry Christmas to you all.

Have you a calendar? Christmas is a fortnight away, we could make it to Dundee if anyone has the stomach for it.

Clear passages my arse.

Eyup BB can you tell me if Titty is sailing with us?

No RT, for that passage it'll have to be Vindaloo not Vicks.

Merry, merry everyone I'll be feeding the waifs and strays again on the day but will keep an eye on the electrical workshop to sign off on work we have put their way. I gather the yard are offering renewable electrickery down the shore supply - I gather that's akin to it being vegetarian - sprouts? I suppose that's why some utilities also supply gas. I hope they have got the right option I don't think the switchboard has anything that reads in BThU.

How many sprouts did you pick Varley? and you have not told me if Titty will be about on Christmas morning, she may need a hand with her stocking. Dont count on shore electrick the lads are off to Scunthorpe. Itold you not to come to Hull we will be better of b&b in Whitby.

We haven't been successful with sprouts in the garden for a year or two and we no longer try (at least that makes more room for the broad beans). I do love them though and from the moment they hit the shops they go in my shopping every week. I haven't had one since Friday (Saturday, Cauliflower Cheese and last night, pasta - didn't think sprouts would work with either).

(Well, I am sure they would work, bowel-wise just not complimentary taste-wise).

My house is out of bounds. Sore throat last night two merry red lines this morning.

That has probably buggered the two waifs and strays dinners I was doing 23rd and 25th but we'll have to wait and see.

Now I am waiting for the third (When sorrows come, they come not as single spies but in battalions). The second came when I turned on the dining room lights. Big bang and suspect the terminals involved are terminal. Same circuit as telly and telly stuff so lounge strewn with extension leads.

" so lounge strewn with extension leads." Same-Same Wireless Shack on GNUB.

Tannoy: We are alongside in dry dock. Shore supply is on and fresh water connected.
A mini bus will be by the gangway for those who wish to go home for xmas. I will remain aboard as usual, (except for maybe a pub visit for grub.). Merry Christmas to you all.

Dinner number 1 cancelled - still showing two bright red lines. Only sign of improvement is in colour of the proto-boggey-slime which has reverted to a less vivid green.

Still holding out for the main event, dining room now lit by boudoir lamps (lent by lady with boudoir) and yet more wandering leads.

(And I still resemble that remark E-S, GNUB all done proper by MIMCO, except main RX which for some reason R408 but even Redifon plumbed their stuff 'in'. Discretion leads me to forget the Ramarc radars).

Well they must have worked, we never hit anything (big ) or run aground.

ran aground.

Eyup ES Nollaig Shona, Ihave a tip for you stick your wages on Bottle of smoke it will win at 25/1 my gambling days are done.

You are forgetting the seawall at Zeebrugge.

Wishing each and every one of you all the best for a very Happy Christmas and a successful New Year and NO I'm not nissed as a Pewt I really mean it quite sincerely. I know ES has nominated me for membership of the GOB* (grumpy old bastard) club, that's fine with me all Chief's as naturally GOB's.

Best Wishes for Christmas and 2024 to you, Tmac, and all those spending Christmas aboard the GD.

Welcome to the GOB club where I am a foundation member.:bad_mad:

Dare I suggest that you nominate ES to the SOB (silly old bastard) club where I am also a member. I am sure that he is well qualified for acceptance but even so we should all try and restrain some of his antics next year.

Pity about Christmas lunch - you cannot cook stuff on a shovel or a pricker with oil firing.:egg:

Anyway, Best Wishes to all on SH (the friendly site) where even a landlubber has been made welcome!:wave:

I am a member of the OLD GIT CLUB .

As i have always owned Motorbikes since a teen [ still have my BSA ]
my motorbike mates call me Old Git .

All the best .

Tony