Henners! Henners!
Get a grip my Lordship and for gods sake don't drink it. Look what it did to the mad xylophone player from mars.

I had no idea that the xylophonist astronomer was a connoisseur also of fizz. Even he, I suggest, would not consider the terroir of Mars suitable until he had had it tested. I don't think he was from there, just that he would have liked to go there.

I have received no requests from either Abi or Charlie. Is there something artistically unappealing about my genitalia?

Nor will you.
One presumes.

Well. It is one explanation.

Had a heavy weekend of drinking, no bubbles, and I feel a dammed sight better than I have in a long time. Bubbles is bastards.
Agree or otherwise.

Depends at which end the bubbles are featuring.

Top end, fine (and did some lunching Friday).

Bottom end, suggest porta and bothiebathjuice bad for gut flora/fauna (and any planned appearances at The Mistral, Shittam upon Peas should be postponed until the problem has passed).

(How's Tmac, bugger didn't leave any batteries with the Brightstar).

Check there's a bulb in it.
Tmax is surrounded by empty tubes of Germoline and Sudocreme. Leave him alone you big bully.

Of course there's a bulb in it. I can hear it rattling about when I shake it.

Bully? It's not me with the four rings.

bulbs? Bulbs? ,,,Spring time already out there?
I have no idea of where we are or where we are heading to. I left the ship in the capable hands of ES. Hope he gets it right or Tmac's steel toe cap boots will be brought into use again.
I seem to have a full time occupation swallowing pills of various colours shapes and sizes. they didnt give any diamond shape blue one though.

Eyup billyboy, you keep batting and i will send round titty to help with the blue tablets.

Hmmm. No activity since May 3rd.

Might be time to go into lay up in the Fal.

Lay off a course for Falmouth ES. Lets go lay the old girl up.

Hi . Billyboy .

My lay up will be in Newquay bay , my hometown .

I Have arranged for the local boatmen to scatter my ashes
on the sea .
Grew up with a lot of them .

All the best . wish you well .

Tony

Daren't lay her up. How would any of us get an ENG1 to rejoin?

Don't expect me to jolly you all up. I am out of Rochas (economising until my 'pot' is out of administration) and damn Tesco is out of its own-brand. On top of that my people have persuaded me to get another lawn mower (old people qualified type) just so I can join in that bloody fun.

It's been a fun voyage.
These days, apart from ENG1, there would probably be some form of shrink (err aptitude) test.
The mind boggles! :rolleyes::eek:
Will there be a redundancy payment or should we take out insurance and scuttle her?
:curtain_call: :wave:

I am open to all ideas Men, No news from the agents, No charters, No Towing jobs. It either find a semi permanent berth somewhere or go into lay up.
But you never know, something might turn up to keep us all employed. (goodness knows what would become of our 4 legged engine room crew).
Mr Varley, please keep one ear open up in the shack in case something crops up.

As long as the groceries keep coming (note importance of licensed type) I am happy to drift off. Off where is not so important but with those tightwads I/C the A/C somewhere not yet globally overwarmed would be sensible. However I will have the boy copy the Russian traffic lists as well. I hear there may be a few opportunities for salvage if we are quick enough on our toes. He's brought-up the copper aerial tubing lovely so doing a watch or two extra will take his mind off that - he's been showing signs of wanting to do some fault finding but I don' think Brasso and the Avo are ideal bedmates (he tells me that FeverTree doesn't improve the flavour either and his teeth are going a strange colour too).

Me and the Memsahib take a well deserved break in Munich and now we find our erstwhile shipmates have organised a putsch behind our backs. Well I have a message for you scurvy dogs, I'm back.
I'm back and going to kick arse. Lay up indeed.
More will follow when I calm down and the froth stops.

We need to be at sea, if we stay ashore fish'e sunak will have you in the Army. left, right, left, right.

Not just Army!
Gnash nul service used to include bobbing about in boats…
Press gang anyone?

Tightwad-one was on leave? We could have had the A/C after all. I wondered why she'd taken on a starboard list. Taking port from port (ye-hah I found one bottle of the Rochas left yesterday) whilst the bothie-bath-juice tank stayed unused. Tmac must still be on no-booze medication.

I'm still here I think, well what's left of me that is. So many bits have been removed I feel like the bloody Cheshire cat, soon all that will be left of me will be a feckin' smile. (and for those of you who know me a smile is rarely seen)

I have CCTV installed in the injum room, cobbled together with bits purloined from Varley's stores, its no wonder the bloody thing only works occasionally !!!!:cloud:

Anyhoo I have almost completed work on my escape tunnel from the second floor but the air gap to the ground might prove a tad difficult to overcome but I is a injuneer so back to the drawing board and the crayons.

Bollocks to the lay up idea, those bar stewards will find me again on a static ship. Wind up the knicker elastic, hoist the windy things and get the hell out of here...... AFTER I get back on board :thumb:

Welcome back old shipmate (sincere bit over), about bloody time. A stern tube is not rocket science.
And in anyways I'm Skipper and I'm well aware of what goes on down the pit, so watch it.
TKmax, Lord V and YM, youse three are a right pair if I've ever seen one. Start warming thro.

Ahh... Thats more like it, Well done skipper, crack the whip and keep em on their toes.

Your wish, ES, is my command.
I don't use a drawing board and crayons for my precision designs. I draw them out with chalk on the garage floor.:shock:

CCTV? Now I know where the turning gear motor got to. We have moved on even from the Image Orthicon let alone from John Logie's spinning discs.

Once we get Tmac set up with a Sterntube channel I'll get the motor back. Better take a few turns out that way before we try air. Mindez-vous (je faits le practicing de frogaise dans le espere de voiring belle-soeur dans Juli) I suspect our loyal readers might think she runs on air anyway. The hot kind.

Firstly all vermin will be caged from 23.00 to 8.00
Gash bins will not conform to MLC but will be "V" and "Non V", to reduce the rats food bill.
Beer will be supped from glasses, drinking from bottles is for corner boys.
Ulster Fry's will be served on Sunday mornings and on 12 July, No exceptions.
Female visitors will not be rogered in the Steering Flat.
A happy ship is a deficient ship.

copy that Skipper. looks like we could be on to a good prowl round the oceans again. well done.

Who is our security officer? I'd like a little more attention paid to ISPS please. I woke this morning to three unauthorised persons onboard and on my deck this morning. Two escaped before the boys (and a girl) in blue arrived. One had locked himself in my playroom. I jammed the lock to prevent his escape while completing my 999 call. Big blue-boy used his key to open the door (two size 14s, back against the back wall, several attempts) only to find miscreant had fled by forcing window and jumping from roof.

Somewhat ashamed to report that nothing of the several nickworthy stuff in open sight seemed to offer any attraction to the little faecalites as nothing seems to have been stolen. The jam of the forced door jam isn't half a mess.

Late roughage, no doubt my digestion will be irregular for days.

sorry to hear that Mr Varley. I am sending Cut-Out number 10 to keep watch on ther Varley estate.

Obliged, Sir W. For security or bowels?

(it turns out my tenant caught two 'high as kites' sitting in the garden on her way to work - description doesn't match the two of the (at least) three that I saw. I'm not sure I mind innocent enjoyment, I suppose no one is polite enough to ask these days because they will so often be refused.

(Is any aprticular Yard traditional for hanging? If so, do we have one?)

yard arm can be rigged by the touch of a button on the bridge Mr Varley.

Jolly good. However I am not sure its use will be allowed. On one occasion, when the ragged regretfully-born were throwing rocks at the neighbours green and other outhouses from a disputed lane, I asked the boys in blue to come and put down poison. The only comfort I got from their answer was the addition of "anymore" to their "I am sorry we don't do that".

Eyup Varley, Do you want me and the boys from ull to come over and sort it once and for all, are they the motorbiking type over to watch the crashes? it will not take us long to scrag the bastards.

That's neighbourly of you Rusty but if you just send the adult friendly poison. With McMmuckBurgers opposite I have an abundance of bait.

(Not that you wouldn't be welcome but I wouldn't want to put you out).

Sorry to hear about your interloper troubles, copious supplies of "shit kicker" boots have been immediately dispatched complete with "bolt through the neck" brigade volunteers to ensure no further incursions will be tolerated.

If the "shit kicking" fails to have the desired effect phase two will be put into effect viz: "do you not want your knees anymore?" or the ultimate "what size do you take in a hood?"

Bastards should be keel hauled :bad_mad::bad_mad: Is flogging no longer an option on the IoM?

My grandma got burgled around 1960s they took two halfcrowns off the mantelpiece, broke her heart and never forgot that day she told me about it loads of times, but i said it's your fault you never lock the door......Hope you soon get sorted rgds rustytrawler. The money they stole was me and my brother's pocket money. boo hoo. She put the money on that mantelpiece every week never missed.