If she were built tumblehome I am sure that would discourage squatting, a prerequisite for that sort of overside ablutionary arrangement especially if done on a sloping slitway. The only reason we keep the poolwater is because as Tmac begrudges putting water on deck, he would have conniptions if it was required every time a flush was required (and does Hempel do a boot topping in cholera-brown?). Unsightly hardly conveys the prospect.

(We have three Doulton Health ablutionary pans left. These enforce a squatting attitude of discharge, quite impressed my Doctor Uncle although he further opined that the more acute angle employed by many 'primitives'' when a la commode was healthier still).

I don't know about glue. What we have is usually kept in the Chief's fridge. I doubt he's less anal with that than with washing down. Anyway there's usually only enough to make up the odd 'O' ring, can't think it would be good for keeping on the funnel when encountering a carelessly unlifted bridge.

On this ship there's only one reply;

Bugger Off.
You Snowflake.

Brought to you be the Greetings card manufacturers.
The same people who turned Mothering Sunday into Mothers day; Invented Father's day; Decided that dogs should get birthday cards etc, etc.

At the end of the day 'today is the day of ......' is nothing but money for someone. :cloud:

Well, snowflake is it? Glad to hear that you are familiar with Chuck Pahlaniuk's "Fight Club", book or movie, and calling me that is fine. At least I'm multifaceted and interesting but sadly I don't last long when the heat comes on. No further friendly stuff shall be the hallmark of my behaviour from now on.
Varley's sloping slitway sounded exciting. Can we see a photo of that?
Rusty, we can't use that net after it's been soaked in French merde so with my newly learned knots, I'll knit a new one. To hasten the process can you all donate a string vest each and we'll tie 'em together with all the finishing lines when the Olymic Committee is done with them.
Where's the bar? Where's the bar-steward? Everybody drink up. This salty life is dry work.

Chuck Pahlaniuk just ain't in my vocabulary. He probably was a Bank Line chap earlier in his career.

Don't take the string vests from the cat's day-basket they are in lieu of a mattress and he keeps his birthday cards underneath (indeed, sod the Hallmark pisstaker - although one of us, anyway, appreciates your good wishes. Usually best expressed here by putting a case behind the bar).

Impressed at your haberdashering skills, or I am presently. If you have that much experience with trying to pass merde francaise through fine netting then I don't think I could paint a better picture of an enturdulated tumblehome freeboard unless it be a playgound slide at a Norovirus (although some with coronovirus suffer alimentarily too) hit school on vindaloo lunch day.

Where's the bar? That really does smack of a want of initiative. We have several and Sir W is fairly free with his hospitality in the owner's suite.

take your pick for our Bars aboard here. there is the Crew bar, PAX bar, the pool bar (l stainless) my private bar in me owners suite. there are also the steering flat and mast house (for sulking purposes) and a very exclusive bar beneath the plates down below where one can enjoy ''Black Bush'' but only by strict invitation (and you have a case with you).

I donate to each bar two cases of Glenfyddich, two cases of Highland Park (my Dads usual drop), two cases of Black Bush, two of Jamiesons, and two of Kahlua for the ladies. There are ladies aren't there? Don't tell me they're cut-outs or inflatables! We'll never get them to drink Kahlua.
I've just being trying to knit and purl the finish line from the Womens Rugby Sevens Final, to two donated vests, and those girls have ruined it. Sprig holes and mud all over the shop. I'll have to resort to carrick bends and short splices to string this out and make the last vestige of a net. Now, someone asked me to hold this wheel whilst he went to the head, or to get head, he was mumbling, pissed. He never came back so I need a course or a star to steer her by. We need someone up the mast to paint the truck by the way - can't see it at night. Lifeboat drill at 6 bells.

Rules is rules Mr Tweedy (20% polyester) and drinks for ladies are a glass of white wine or a fruit based drink.

Scrumpy is fruit based…
One of my five a day when down that way..

We've lost the fwd Cocktail lounge? I told you that glue wouldn't do the trick. Where did we leave it? Has our new shipmate got it caught in the lady wrestlers' net knickers?

You've been caught out like a young E-S told to line-up the handrail cooling pump. The wheelie thing is only used when the pilot's aboard. The DB4 (an early almost ARPA/almost ECDIS) does all that for us providing none of its little red lights are glowing (and all of its little green ones are).

I thought that the big spoked wheel on the bridge was just a decoration. Somewhere for visitors to have their photographs taken with "Look at me, I'm steering the ship." captions.

Surely you are not suggesting that it actually does something, sometimes.

So, I've been standing here for 24 hours holding an ornament? Very funny. I'll use some of these finish lines to make a macrame (good old Ashley knot book) cover for the wheel and we can use it as an otter board to keep the string vest net open. Didn't that cocktail bar recess neatly into its back wall? I'll go down there and I bet it hasn't been glued, me being an expert glue-sniffer, and I'll pull it out, set out white wine and fruity things for the ladies. If any of them ask for Kahlau, I'll tell them to lick it off the tumblehome where I tipped it all. Lady wrestlers aren't my concern. What does concern me is that the Ladies Transgender Weightlifter (from a country down here) has a suspect snatch and someone should look into it. Any volunteers? Meet me in forrard cocktail lounge for high-balls later.

https://x.com/i/status/1818609648984895511

I thought the ships wheel was there to prevent this?

In the trade it's known as a "Kiss".

Cripes! Expensive kiss isn't it? Lucky they weren't full of LNG.

Unusual tactic, running towards it.
Must be one of them there hero thingys.

I do hope we haven`t any of them onboard.
I didn`t get where I am today by doing foolish things like that. My foolish things were completely different.

That's what happens if the wheel is hidden under that pink knitted cover. When pilot is aboard the almost ECDIS has to be disconnected I thought I made that plain.

Talking of knitted shawls that tank is going to get mighty less cold without its insulation. Suggest trouble remains 'in the pipline' as it were, the one carrying the boil-off. Trust the death-wish chappy's camera is of a type approved for use in a hazardous atmosphere.

LEL and UEL: they speak of little else in the Philippines.

Hmmmm I do hear them speak of other things. Like Red Horse, San Miguel, Tanduay Rice and Bulad. (stinking stuff that is)

Bulad - sounds too much like salad for me to try it.

Kippers, Kippers, Lord V of Ronaldsway should know what a kipper is. Nanny always gave him a Kipper on buttered bread to prevent the wee dote choking.

Sun dried fish that stinks to high heaven when fried Mr Varley. Wife (who loves it) has to cook it outside as I cant stand the smell of it.

Red Horse - roan isn't it?
Tanduay - you got brown out in the sun ...
Bulad - a cheeky boy who keeps scaring you.
Why are the scuppers awash with Tawny Port? Even the starboard ones!

I'll have those pig-iron polishers! They must have been 'loading on top' having forgotten that bothiebathsquuezzings are denser than the post prandial rubiginous nectar. But worry not. I have the scuppers lined whenever they are playing at tankers, a slight taint of canvas firehose works quite well with stilton.

Bulad - Obliged for the definition and warning. Bottom line remans the same. Avoid like salad - imagine that, too, would disgust more widely if fried. (Nanny fed soft herring roe on toast in the nursery and smoked haddock, although not as it should be, ie only for breakfast and poached in chili milk. Kedgeree came late into my repertoire). Sadly the Island's own smoked speciality has never appealed although it was one of the few dishes Pa actually enjoyed eating.

Herring my arse, what you need is a proper bear island cod, filleted by a ull pattyslapper. ......And another thing never buy fish fingers only buy COD fish fingers, fish fingers contain the black fish that cant be sold (coley, whiting, herring etc) cod fingers, guess what only have cod in them...And another thing thisafte i am going to watch water polo on the tele i have never watched it before, i am looking forward to seeing the horses jump into the pool.

Bird's Eye Cod fish fingers with French mustard. I still enjoy them from time to time.

I suppose they would be fish fingers ordinaire. Is there, perhaps, an Appelation d'origine Controllee to protect the market of the 'Ull pattyslapper, perhaps even that of the individual pattyslapper? The only things I look for on the label are 'Cod' and 'Sourced responsibly'.

Hmmmm, Smoked Haddock eh!
Liberal spreading of Butter, add Salt And pepper and grill gently. Not had that for many years.

Must get another ships cook aboard here when we can. El Plastico not very adventurous in the galley.

Put a plastic garbage bag over the tele in case the splash gets into the works.

Being an NZ inland isolated ex-Northern Hemisphere person, all this talk of the fish of my homeland is making me drool. Halibut cooked in milk, Ruskolene crumbed lemon sole, haddock and chips, oh how I miss them all. Here, it's snapper ($40NZ/Kg), orange roughy, gurnard, hoki, blue cod, tarakihi, kingfish. All very nice but warm water species don't taste the same.
Sealord is the big fish(ing) company here and we normally buy their fish fingers, fish cakes etc. We don't buy imported stuff from China and other such places as it's all stew-pond tilapia and other such strange things.
Ok, who do you have to kill to get a drink around here?

Eyup tweediekiwi, did you know that sealord are using a Hull trawler called ST BENIDICT and the trawler is catching very well for them. rgds rustytrawler.....ST BENEDICT was built at Ferguson bros port Glasgow 1973, now in NZ she is called WILL WATCH they obtained her in 1986 and runs out of Nelson, last year they had trouble with the British Polar engine with parts hard to find but she is now fishing well again.

I had some Hoki a few years ago when Cod was scarce. Nice, enjoyed it.

Yes Rusty, she was one of the Orange Roughy boats, deep trawling and scraping the bottom clean. We still get roughy now, but it's expensive as they are harder to catch. They are a long living fish and the fishing industry just about decimated the breeding stock. Almost went the way of the cod up north.
That St Benedict, the last time it was mentioned on this site, was in Mauritius and fishing well there. They were waiting for spares for their Caterpiller generator, but why they're generating caterpillers at sea, I'm not sure. Maybe groundbait?
You learned men can answer this question. Why do some ships last 50+ years, Like the St. Benedict, and some only 12 or twenty years? I came out here on the TSS Northern Star during her short life of 13 years and I don't understand why they wrecked her. Seems like a waste.
And billyboy, hoki is nice. Sealord package up frozen Hoki Crumbed fillets and they are great.
What the biggest selling fish in the UK now?
Alright, time to shut up, slam the deadlight and try not to get my finger caught this time.

Eyup tweedi, over hear in the fish and chip shops it is cod and haddock mostly from Iceland, burt i think we are still buying from Russia. On the 28 nov 1985 my Dad took the Hull trawler CORDELLA to NZ SKEGS had bought her but they did not keep her long, and J MARR SOON got her back to Hull, Cordella was a great trawler and dad was on her for quite a few years she was used by the navy in the Falkland's war.

You all have an amazing amount of interesting info' about shipping history. You should organise yourselves and write a book about it all, chapters on each dept on the ships, the pranks, the engineering cockups. Could be an interesting read.
Me? I'm too busy doing oil changes on all these fairleads, changing the water level of the plimsoll line and packing the stern glands.
All the Best, Doug.

Be advised my young apprentice, that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Do Not go around the ship talking about stern glands and stern tubes, you may be elated with your grasp of engineering detail but all our deviants will view you as fresh meat. Kiwi chaps should talk of little, in their first year, other than blue tongue in sheep..

It is a little learning, as oft betrayed by misquotation, that is said to be dangerous (as oft as it is misquoted that pride goes before a fall). Knowledge stems from learning (an example. A colleague, even fatter, had not the knowledge that connecting the excitation feed of all three alternators to the automatic flashing supply permanently would affect the behaviour of their modern voltage regulators. He learned this when a call was sent when the Chief and Master declined to proceed further than Falmouth until one or other of the machines could be taken off the board without 'browning out' (a term where the voltage is inversely proportional to the demand for fresh laundry).

Now, after all this urban agitation (obviously there has been a lot of cousin on cousin canoodling amongst in the extremist fraternities as well as insufficiencies of Nanny bringings-up), we are asked to admire Willi Watcher.

I fear that would turn the rioters against at least one cottaging industry. Better, I suppose, than setting fire to libraries or performing l'osculation francais amongst the loaghtan ladies' antipodean relatives. Any hint of the latter and we'll have the good ladies' Band of Virtue over us like a rash. Again.

(Nanny was strictly against canoodling when underage or if any part of the canoodlers had turned blue - especially were a wake to be involved).

Eyup Varley, we have rioters in this boat too, did you know that at this very minute the NZ boys are in the bar singing ode to a sheep and the UK lads are ashore watching football singing that well known song' "lets go fking mental lets go fking mental da da da da, da da da da"

That is why the fwd cocktail lounge is so useful (or was until someone tried re-attaching it with glue). Up there they don't interfere with the zs of the watchkeepers (not the same as Willi Watchers, or not usually). Ode to Sheep. Not Beethoven. Joseph Lamb or John Shepphard perhaps?

Even if those damned foreigners do have to have odd morse code like that i still don't think we should inflict our hooligans on them.