Life! Aboard this Marie Celeste of a Golden Dreamer! I hear drifting words like Fynoderee ... could it be that the utterer knows of Durathror too? Has he read The Weirdststone of Brisingamen? The Moon of Gomrath or The Owl Service ... by Alan Garner of course ... or has he visited Alderley Edge (on that famous but declining piece of island called the land of the Angles) and seen for himself the writings in the stone? Or are the echoing words just the gobbing gurgles of a shipmate whose digestive system is trying to process a tonne of Tawny port at a single sitting. What skill? What ability? What a fine Port containment system? I would normally say 'What good looks' too, but he's stretched tight, full of drink, round and dark and smooth, akin to a beached whale cast upon the shore, not a blink of an eye, not squeak from the rear end, maybe we'd better catch up with him later.
RT, the cod were rotten when they got here. In return I have sent you two legs of lamb by parcel post and hope you enjoy it on arrival. Dig it into your garden and you'll get a good crop of veges, unless you get salmonella or campylobacter first. You may have to vie for a seat in the heads with Varley.
But, speaking of Grimsby, I did know (in every sense) a lass from Cleethorpes and she was totally wonderful.
What did you steal from the bank? Deposit slips? The lead off the roof? And you didn't even visit your friend Tommy when he went down?
Right, using everything I've learnt from Ashleys book, I'm going to knit a new set of rigging, knit one, purl one, rat-line and clew ...

As far as the bank robbery went, i was on lookout from a pub across the road and i never heard the sirens from the police cars, and it was the last time i saw Tommy Fisher he was sticking two fingers up at me from the back of a police car, Tommy was a great lad and i would love to see him again but he might not want to see me. Always had a snotty nose did Tommy he was an orphanage lad from Grimsby, i think he ran away to sea on a Grimsby trawler i have been looking for him for over 50 years but not a sign.

In a word. No.

For the superstitious the Fynoderee are particularly spiteful hairy fairies native to the Isle of Man. For us it is distiller of spiritous liquor masquerading as gin but with a taste, as I imagine it to be, of diesel. As for a Norse godess who cannot spell, they should indent for a Brightstar flashlight (as in the US misusage of da English like wot HM speaks) instead of a torc (2 cell for watchkeepers 3 cell for the big four or rather the big two as the other big two can see in the dark, it's part of their tickets).

If little Tommy hasn't shown himself to you for 50 years I think the sign is that he doesn't want to be seen.

Never say no Varley, I trusted him with the proceeds of our venture and i trust he will of invested my half Wisely unless plod took the cash off him if they did i am ruined, TOMMY WHERE ARE YOU.

Wasn't Tommy the deaf, dumb and blind lad who sure played a neat pinball.
Choosing my words carefully I would wonder if Tommy was the perfect guy to include in a fast moving adventure.

Eyup ES, It was not a fast moving adventure it was more of a please can you hand over some money please adventure, I knew that if Tommy got caught he would not dob me in.

Ah, well the Fynoderee that I sopke of was -

https://britishfairies.wordpress.com...f-alan-garner/

- and as kid in Aberdeen I used to listen to the book being read on The BBC.

And now we have thieves and rogues in out midst eh? Better have another drink I think. Gather round lads and you might hear a tale or two ...

Danny la Rue, Boy George, Larry Grayson, Richie McCaw, Elton John.

I heard that when Boy George has a bad throat he sucks a Fishermans Friend.
So, ES, are implying that he and those other gentlemen are on board the GD?
And what does Fynoderee gin taste like anyway? My daughter would probably like it.

Never heard of Fynoderee gin. I only drink Gordon's.

Well we are British so a Fynoderee would be a Manx and British hairy fairy but not an English, Scottish or Irish(N) hairy fairy. There is some suggestion that they might have arrived with the Vikings.

When next E-S or another of the plumbing ilk is dipping the diesel bunkers, ask for some in a shot glass. One sip and you'll know what Fynoderee tastes like the only difference is that one's morning-after farts burn with a lilac flame instead of orange. Follow E-S in this I advise, but Beefeater, Hendricks and even Tesco's are also quite drinkable (but then, compared with Fynoderee, so is undiluted water).

Indeed, the rot started with Bombay Sapphire and before you knew it every pub had a Gin Corner which was populated by wankers drinking out of small wash hand basins and roaring for more pink peppercorns.

As with all fads this one has run out of steam. Gunpowder Gin and Fever Tree Tonic are now also rans and my shares in Schweppes are heading north. Amen.

Eyup all, In Ireland i found that in most pubs in the Irish midlands there was always some class of a bottle of squash on the bar and anyone could help themselves to a glass of still orange or limejuice i think the makers name was waddi, no man would be turned away without a free thirst quencher, this also happend if you were out for a meal, in the uk the landlord would be waiting to grab the money out of your hand with a charge of up to a fiver, i found this a nice gesture there is not many places that would give you a free drink.

aye up lads, follow Trusty Crawler, he knows where to get free drinks.

It was reported in the (London) Times last week that the above average educational achievements of young convicted criminals in gaol was impressive (not yet a success claimed by Mr. Starmer for Labour).

Should the concerned and able parent now consider Parkhurst instead of Eton? Just give the brat half a brick and point him at the nearest police station.

(VAT on half a brick about GBP 0-30 VAT Eton one year GBP 10,000-00).

Golden Dreamer 2 Ship Management, Peel Ltd, will offer them Cadetships.

I have some bricks in my back yard they can have for free. If they ship out here with the Merchant Navy, by the time they get back they'll have a more rounded education than either Parkhurst or Etn could provide, in some areas. The travel will broaden their minds and empty their pockets! Nothing else to do but sign on again and they can still get tattoos!

I have a donkey. I called him Oaty. I've always been a Don Quixote fan.

I'm led to believe all youse nz'ers have a pet sheep, nothing to be ashamed about.

My daughter used to have one when she was a kid. Woolly Nelson was its name. Died unexpectedly in the back yard so I buried it and planted Kumara (sweet potato) over it. It worked well and I was giving away kumara up and down the street for a while.
But, no sheep now and the donkey's just a joke, nothing to be ashamed about at all.

The John Selwyn Gummer defence.

Whats that? A chess move whilst playing a sax with no teeth?

Now that ES has got out of jail 30 years early due to the government wanting to replace him with a hooligan, is there a chance of a plan to earn some cash?

You can earn a living without help from me. Go back to bobbin you lazy bugger, just because your foto is in the cover of "Lovely she Goes" don't mean you can drink down Hessle Road morning, noon and night.

Where the hell is Tmax 1720? The old devil has slipped off with the keys to the Control Room and the starting handle for the Greasy Beast.
What are we to do? His two rats are defecating over the bottom plates and pissing in the bilges.

Two alternatives ES:

1. Hoist sail.
2. Go back to the immaculately maintained and highly polished heritage T3s. You are still qualified, no doubt.:applause: The BP is coming round just in case.:sweat:

Imust confess that it was not Tmax that has been pissing in the bilges, it was the only man on board who drinks red lemonade the only place that sells red lemonade is Ireland.

Ooooh! Sails. I can help you YM. I have a yard arm. The other one is 35 inches though.

As an adult (??) I have never drank TK Red but as a child in East Antrim I had the usual little bouts of growing sickness called a Dwam. When on the mend Lucozade was the pick-me-up and if money was tight red lemonade boiled and let cool down had to suffice.
I sometimes wonder if there is a need for big pharma to be flogging 50 types of cold remedy when Lucozade and TK Red worked.

Dwam?.....Is that anything to do with dropping balls or the excitement?

sales?... bum boat alongside is it?
Red liquid? tractor fuel that is.
Ball dropping? most of my crew guilty of that I guess. (dropped a few myself to be honest)

Why dont you people in the PHILLIPPINES get out of bed at the same time as the rest of us? Is it winter down your end?

Dwam is Ullans or Ulster Scots or 'the hamely tongue' for a minor illness or a touch of something like the flu.

Ithink i have a head Dwam reading all this Irish twaddle, in Yorkshire we say i feel crap and then everyone knowes where they stand.

Well, I heard that a wee Dwam was good for all that ails but that is not how HM would spell it.

When a girl M'Lady, as she regails, offered the family ewer of bothiebathsqueezings to a lad close by who was of the Plymouth Brethren or Jehovah's Witnesses (I had no idea either had gained teetotal toehold in Ireland until then, but I digress) and ailing of some unspecified lurgy.

She omitted to suggest a suitable dose and when he surfaced some days later it emerged he had taken the lot. I doubt he felt much better. Not for a little while anyway. I suspect M'Lady's prescription had omitted the hat and the bedpost, necessities if not specifying dosage.

I did hear that a hair of the dog works well. Little old lady down the road is still no better and has as bald doggy now. Maybe she over did it too!

I suppose TK Red is the equivalent of Irn-Bru in Scotland? Not available when I was a lad back there.
I used to get Maltexo in the winter and cod liver oil if I was malingering. I don't get many flu's now that we're all immunised against covid etc. A Dwam back then was a daydream.
So, billyboy has a neighbour with a bald doggy? I know a lady with a bald pussy. It's from Argentina I think, and very expensive.
In NZ here, the winter is trying to hang on so we're having a wet spring.

Are youse still growing Kiwi Fruit?

Yes. Green, Yellow and Red. They keep genetically modifying them to suit different nations tastes.
Great little fruit, three of them give you a good run for your money. Prune juice is cheaper though.
Where is the GD now? Adrift? Half sunk? Laid up for the time being?

We are in Port Said, the haven of all our desires, awaiting a Gorden Blow cook. Once the galley is flashed up and cooking something better than Goat a la Cous-Cous we will up anchor and keep pointing south.
BTW is goat a Kiwi export, alongside coloured fruit and boot polish.

I miss the Pool. Keep phoning the Belfast, Liverpool and Glasgow Pool to hire some of Britain's Hardy Sons but no one answers. Can anyone help?