ship tour
 

Nooooo Tom. just showing the young lady around the ship. The water bed and soft lighting come later in my suite heh heh heh
'

And this my dear is where the sailors used to live. there would have been 6 men sleeping in here. And this their mess deck where they would eat and take their Tots.
Tots dear. every day when the sun was over the yard arm tots would be issued to the men. I have some here for you to try. this is Pussers rum and very good for you too! Cheers. now come along with me and I'll show you the Bridge where all the navigating is done.

This is the Bridge where my Commodore and Captain do all the navigation. Along here is my private owners suite do come and see my dear, Another drinkie? My private bar. Over there my bathroom.
Here we have my Jaccuzi. What? never tried one! then you must my dear. just leave your clothes on that chair and I will get it prepared for you. here, another drinkie, Mind if i join you, plenty of room for us both to relax and....CENSORED!!! (sorry readers you will have to use your imagination)

......And a beard in her ear'ole which tickled and said "AVE SOME MADEIRA M'DEAR"

"Just relax my dear, it's only the roll of the ship."

"Oh, that's a relief, I thought it was a roll of linoleum."

OK you lot --- (other than the ladies) it's time to withdraw from whatsoever, or whomsoever you are doing and prepare to sail. The ladies, I am sure will repair aboard with proper deportment and in a sober manner suited to their moral fortitude.
:bounce_angel::bounce_angel:

Bye bye, thanks for coming.

Aye aye Tom, standing by for departure. Bit worried about the Mayor Tom. you see that lip stick on his collar? different colour and taste to what his wife was wearing!

Squeek, Eric pack your kit I need you ashore for a while.... Engine Serang you are in charge of my babbies just make sure you do everything Sir William requires.... good lad

Dont worry Engine Sarang I will be covering Tmacs watches while he's ashore.

SSR!...need you to fly Tmac ashore Jim. one way trip so you will have space aboard for extra cargo on your return.

I remember many years ago when I was asked to join the GD. They were filming a porn movie and oddly it was a musical. Now, you want to talk mayhem. Ahh, those were the days. :big_tongue:

Sir William in the engine room? No use relying on E-S he can't tell a hairy sporran from a drizit pad. I'll have to go on watch myself.

Kindly reserve sufficient mayhem and lubrication for same for when I get off. Mind you with those two it looks like four on stop on.

Any songs you would like to share? We all promise to join in any choruses, possibly with all the hand actions (within the bounds of possibility/credibility).

I have a small volume dictated from an impromptu rugby choir practice, should I bring that along?

Oh yes, good Idea Varley. Lets have a rehearsal in the crews bar tonight..
I think if we worked 8 on and 8 off down below and switch to full bridge control at night with all alarms set we should be ok. 4am till 12 noon. you do 12 noon to 8pm. Engine room will be locked up then till I go down at 4 am.

Now what is our esteemed injuneer up to? I don't really think Eric and Squeek are up to being on shore, hope Tmac keeps a close watch over them. Hmmm, should we be concerned? It is my opinion that we should and I am already feeling my anxiety levels rising.

If anyone needs me I will be in my cabin. Now? Where did I put that Valium that I picked up in Invercargill?

billyboy
 

Ahem, just when did I go from being a 'member' to being a 'senior member'? I'm sure there are other crew members far more entitled to be called 'senior' than moi, like, Tmac and Tom and Pats.

He must have run into the 2nd. plastic steward in the galley -- perfect match! :bounce:

Here we go!!! ---- "Away, away, with fife and drum,
Here we come, full of rum,
Looking for women to peddle their (whatever rhymes with rum)
On the North Atlantic Squadron.

Or:

They were doing it in the hallways,
They were doing it on the stairs,
Well you could'na hear the bagpipes
For the snapping of curly hairs. (From the Ball of Kerrymuir)

We are going to be underway in one hour - when we clear pilotage, we will have a departure party in #1 hold -- have to cheer up SSR (Like it or not!) :egg:

Hi Red I'll come to your cabin right now -- bringing a bottle of Varley's prized Port. A little shoulder rub and some quiet conversation should calm your nerves. (I could give you a shoulder rub as well, if you like!) :huh:

senior member
 

Its automatic Red-17. after a certain amount of postings you become a senior member. You have done very well to achieve the title so quickly. Well done Lass.:bounce_angel:

Pilot boat approaching Tom!...cut outs to Port side to assist the pilot if required please!

VROOOOM .........VROOOM. Main engines on Tom. Standing by for manhoovers.

Bulkhead phone:Steward! bring down 2 clean glasses please. (dont like sucking black bush from the pipe. besides it makes Varleys beard go curly)

nicely settled into the control room:
Plenty of magazines here to read Varley. Some of the pages seem stuck together!...must have been eating Marmalade on toast down here.

Oh Tom, a neck rub would be wonderful and a glass of port would mean that I wouldn't need the Valium but I am a little concerned about what the rest of the crew would think. :very_sad:

no worried Red-17. we will leave you in peace (and watch the CCTV) so you can relax and enjoy your massage. Tom's really good at it/

Just because I'm off the stuff for a bit doesn't mean you can go and use it as a back rub. Anyway it'll leave you very sticky even if it does smell better than horse linament.

(Now then, I wonder if I could taste that?)