The quayside party went well and I think we all enjoyed it. Putting the winch on one notch, so that all the equipment slowly was gathered back on board, worked very well. I laughed as the revellers at the bar one by one fell in the dock when the whole shebang slowly moved on board.

TANNOY:All hands repair aboard -- quietly leaving tomorrow for parts unknown. (Under the official secrecy act, I can tell you that we are going to head into the sea of Japan for a bit of fun with Mr. Kim.) The plan is to serve him a full English breakfast, complete with black puddin' delivered by a guided muscle. We will be in stealth mode so he won't know from whence it came. Maybe ship him some Taedonggang beer to wash if down, and he'll wonder where the hell we got it. :pint:

I assume then Tom you will require our departure in stealth mode?...:supercool: nice if you could give us injuneers a wee bit of notice....:brain:.... just saying like:smoking:

6 to 4 ??? I assume these are the odds being offered on my chances :jester: FYI she was delighted to see the golden rivet but was even more excited to have the opportunity to give the knob on the throttle leaver a vigorous final polish :supercool:

heh heh heh....she's had her hands full with him...well he was at the front of the queue...everything big at H&W....heh heh

Stealth mode was indicated in post #962 -- about 24 hours ago -- mind you that used to be the amount of time to raise steam on an old Scotch boiler, I believe.

Please don't tell me that you've converted your Scotch distilling boiler back to supply propulsion needs??

Mind you, a bit cumbersome, but we could provide written requests delivered by scantily dressed young maidens if that would help? Maybe even throw in a crystal decanter pf Black Bush together with a matching crystal goblet -- raise the tone of the injun room a bit. :bounce_angel:

Bugger. That's why the last batch has the tang of bunker C.

NOW you are talking sense, certainly such methodology would guarantee an immediate response from the injun room :) of course being an injuneer one can see ways of improvement, 1, the maidens to be naked (except for safety boots) 2, requests to be written on Velum (oil resistant) and finally 3, while the crystal decanter, Waterford one assumes is acceptable the goblet to be 22 carat gold inlaid with diamonds. :supercool:

Ah David, a man indeed blessed with such a fine palate :jester:

Tmac, I thought you never drank from anything (even Lady's Slippers), that hadn't been riveted?

Oh, the slim turn of an ankle nestling in a safety boot!

the highly technically advanced geeks here tell me (from their tree nest) that my internet should be back to normal by Monday morning. Pain in the neck trying to do it on a cell phone.

anyway while I have this short spell ashore I am instructed to drive her ladyship to church today. Last time I was there it was not nice....Nice young boy's handbag was on fire and the older guy with ne nice dress was the only one who got a drink...barsteward was using a Gold Chalice too just to rub it in. then we had to have a tarpaulin muster for him...cheeky guy

Boy!! You drive a hard bargain! i must insist, however, that the goblet will only be encrusted on the exterior with diamonds. :really_mad:

The older guy in the dress is a heathen -- not only does his crowd buy the plonk which is at best of dubious provenance, but he even mixes it with water!! :angel:

Not only that, but the wafer biscuits don't even have any cheese or savoury toppings. Lousy host if you ask me.....

Kept smiling and waving at him at drinkies time. Drank it himself he did....Sigh. Dont think I like that place.....too selfish they are.

My experience of religion is less than my experience of flying, I've done it once. I liked the fact that you got a price and an aspirational destination. I can see where faith comes in, in both recreations.

Sorry, in my last post, when I wrote "flying", I meant to put "sex". Makes much more sense.

Sex/Flying.... it's all much the same... initial excitement and anticipation then down to earth with a bump when reality kicks in :jester:

speaking of religion, last time I was in church a fellow threw water over me and called me names so I never went back. :( In any case his mate's handbag was also on fire :shock:

Just been up top having a look around...Cant see land anywhere...Plastic steward sat in the wheelhouse knitting something. auto pilot on, radar alarms set.

Translated that means "Splice the main Brace".
Ste them up steward! crew on the way for tots. Open a jar of pussers special please.

So solly -- prepared a rather convoluted post last night, only to have it disappear completely when I tried to add an emoji. Needless to say, I wasn't about to write the whole thing over again.

To update everyone, we have arrived in Wŏnsan, North Korea, and have anchored under our cloaking device so no one ('cept us) knows that we are here. We are in the process of loading a complete Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet onto the end of their jetty, along with copious quantities of Belgian Trappist Beer, (11.6% ABV) to be served by disposable Plastic Stewardesses in mini skirts. After the locals have delved into such depraved Western fare, their glorious leader will wonder what the hell happened.

Seeing the U.S. surface fleet has left the area he'll find it hard to blame them.

Varley, if you would be so kind as to launch our spy satellite over Pyongyang, we might get a peek at the look on Kim's face. :really_mad::really_mad:

need a wide angle lens for a mug like his ha ha.

Just been checking our detection monitors. seems there a few folk got miss isles aimed this way and waiting for button pressing time.

Whilst we are under cloak and in the right possition we could always loose a torpedo off. it would run up the beach from here. Maybe sink a Horse and Cart heh heh heh

Have you any idea how much gripewater it takes to fuel the launch vehicle. We'll be dry for months if you do that. And what about the liquid oxygen. How will we pre-breakfast up-liven if we go wasting the stuff like that? (Besides, the bird's aerials are quite useful for drying my laundry).

Varley, I see the problems with launching, could your cunning mind and wriggly fingers not capture one of the many satellites already up there? I am absolutely sure that there are quite a few gazing down on the Leader right now, can we not sip a few gig of data from one of them.

Firing a torpedo up the beach could cause a lot of problems in the world, especially if it destroys the town horse and cart (and anyway, what has the poor old horse done), I suggest a sort of glittery parcel of the worst corruptors, like platform soled gold lame boots and jars of Marmite, would have a more destructive effect.

Will this do?

I used the old Inmarsat A terminal with the PA turned up a bit (see hole in cloud and hairdo of dear nincompoop).

Looks like he survived the nuclear weapon test that made the hole in the cloud. Trouble is, his short back and sides became a no back and sides.

everyone's entitled to be a wee bit silly at times but that Kim abuses the privilege.

I'm afraid we can't use that again. a megawatt through the PA can only be done once (and for a very short time). I might, though, develop a lower power option for instant tonsorial grooming.

(Has everyone finished sniffing the adhesive? I tried the prototype on a plastico and I need to re-attach his face).

Well, we can see from the look on his face that Kim has absolutely no sense of humour at all.

I suggest we leave him alone to play silly buggers with all and sundried. Sooner, or later he'll get his come-uppence. :jump:

Red said that she would like to go to India, so, unless anyone has any objection we can set a course for Kolkata ( a sister port of her home town of Newcastle, NSW) perhaps stopping off for refreshers in Hong Kong/Macau, and Singapore on the way? I did hear that there was a cargo of animal body parts to be carried to India and here I am with 8 crates of "Dogs-cocks" --- a bunch of back splices in 1/2 inch manilla rope.

Time to convene for a port parting tipple, I believe? :pint:

someone mention tipple?......Large one for me please!

#979

Try a lunchtime bap from Ashers.

We have a crew of many and varied talents, Varley, your picture capture is brilliant. It looks just like him.

I think I was at school with him.

Will we be calling into Istanbul for some Turks' Heads too? Port Elizabeth for some smoke cured Monkey Fists?

wonder if theres anything anchored off Alang worth stealing. Tmac did very well in spare parts last time we were there heh heh

Well, if we go to Kalkota we'l be on the wrong side for Alang, but not too far from Chittagong -- we've never stolen anything from there, only sold stuff, so they won't be expecting us. :supercool::supercool:

While we're at it we could slide up the Ayreshire coast, do some diving off Carrick, and get the bends. :jump:

Now holding a "groaner" party in the Pax lounge. :jester:

I'm up for that, we could go for a drink in the Crown with Matthew Walker, but watch out, the sheep there are very comely, if you go for a Sheepshank, don't end up in a Sheetbend. Clifford Ashley, help me out here.

when we get there I will make a bowline for the bar Farmer John! have to hope we dont pick up a blackwall itch...LOL

Sir William, I hope knot.

Is that anything like Gloucester Old-spot?

(Some are too ugly for sheep).