Sir W, I think you can let us each do his own bragging. Anyway are you sure the 'lassie' wasn't from Danny's?

This ship is becoming a coven for old women gossiping, lets have no more of it. We have a treasure trove of manly stories, we should start telling them and let the rest be amazed.

It was a dark and a stormy night and the Captain said to the cabin boy "Tell us a tale!"

I forget the rest, or my mind has blanked it out.

Might have been Mr Varley. It was a long time ago.

The Bond has not been refreshed in living memory, nearly 3 months. We're all Covid 19 and have forgotten Vat 19. Priorities Gentlemen, Priorities. If we neglect our wellbeing we will loose our immunity to all sorts of diseases and it will end up with an umbrella up the big blue vein. Just typing it brings tears to my eyes. Be warned BB.

I prefer a good Vat 69 myself, well except for when I get some hair stuck between my teeth.

Gentlemen normally take them out and put them in a glass on the bedside locker. Be nice, T.

Don't know the meaning of the word lad, you NEVER hear the word NICE and INJUNEER in the same sentence :thumb:

Tip from a professional, ALWAYS keep the teeth in, much better to nibble than suck :thumb:

Shipmates Good News..... Tmax has invited us down to the Changing Room for drinks and nibbles at, at sex, which is 18.00 hrs on the H&W clock. On past performance it could descend into a bit of a swarry so be sure to get an Access All Areas badge.

Tmax. Are we talking of heat engines or do we just expect hot stuff? With your grasp of efficiency I expect Tmin would be too hot!

(And might I add your advice about my teeth and the bedside locker - that porcelain there is not meant as a denture quencher, can't you tell by its size?)

Varley dear lad, not to worry the latent heat from the injuns is ducted up the big pole thingie at the front with the lights on it, to keep the crow warm in its nest and to defrost the lights.

All you require is a super sized tub of Vaseline and the world is your lobster. Please don't confuse that with a tub of Chockfast otherwise you might be in for a sticky end.

I've seen you shimmy Chief and while you can still do that I'll keep the Chockfast red-pencilled.

I may have misunderstood E-S. The porcelain container would be OK for keeping one's hair in I suppose but it would then not only look ridiculous in the morning but might not smell too good either.

And another thing! Vaseline is no good for crabs. Not unless you set it on fire after application.

Did you hear about the couple who didn't know the difference between Vaseline and putty?
All their windows fell out.

The stuffs no good in place of puttee either - the boots fall off.

And Ypres mud will get into the turn-ups in your trousers.

Steward!... set up the pool bar please. it my birthday. drinks all round on my tab if you please.

Best wishes for your birthday BB.
I'll just have a coffee (and three Drambuies to go with it, please, seeing as you are paying ).
Geoff (YM) :jester::wave:

Happy Birthday Boss, I trust the memsahib has a treat in store for you but failing that a libation or three can be had in the injun room. Admittance gained upon receipt of the secret knock :supercool:

Sir W. Have as many more of them as you yourself can tolerate. Here I have festively wrapped this big tub of Vaseline, I've only used a teeny bit.

Ignore Tmac, that secret knock is coming from the crankcase.

DON'T USE THE VASELINE It's a trap, Varley put sand in it :eek::eek::eek:

Hoi, my injuns don't knock they humm gently like a satisfied cat :thumb:

As Tmax and myself often say to one another, it's better to hear it than smell it. And we are unanimous on that.
Almost unanimous.
Mostly unanimous.
In fact blood has been spilt during discussions.
But we settled things with an evening in Hatfield House.

Sir William, have a good day, I am lifting a glass to you. A pint mug of Champagne half and half with Guinness is most acceptable for a birthday tipple.

For the mathematically challenged, that makes 2 pints or a quart.

Rounded up to half a gallon.

Why stop at that? Let's make it a full Gallon.