What about Davy? the fellow with the mines.
When it comes to mines I have say that mine's a large Brandy, thank you.
Come to that, I trust that those on our route have all been dispersed in the last 70 odd years, but you never know.

Mines! Shouldn't we have more cutouts detailed as lookouts? Have we checked the war risks situation with the insurance dept? What of the NTMs and NTSWSs? Anyone know how to switch on the disgusting gear? We are not very good at hitting our itinerary but Mr Kipling-like at hitting anything else.

Oh. I see what you mean. A Sir Humphrey to the likes of us and what approaches today's Ex d protection although probably only WRT temperature of escaping gas (something of which we are all reminded of a Wednesday after the bandari's Brassicas Vindaloo).

Anyway his portraits don't suggest him as a ginger and I am mortified that you think our schooldays could have been contemporaneous - the brandy I suppose, I should try a switch to Port (even at risk of developing Gauss).

As you very well know the degaussing cable was hacksawed into many-many 2 foot lengths and You and Tmax flogged them to a wee shifty looking bloke in Port Said. Tmax also tried to unscrew the Admiralty extra nozzles from the ahead turbine but it was beyond his ability. Thats the shipyard for you. As regards mines just remember the Ohio made it to Malta, so will we but as a precaution I shall put the engineroom canary up on the triangular bit at the front to give us due warning of trouble. Did yous buggers flog all the full stops?
Mines a brandy. Indeed. We have the makings of a troublemaker here, next he'll be wanting vindaloo on a tuesday.

That Vindaloo is Tuesdays. It's its reminder that comes Wednesday morning. I am not sure it is not the effect of that in the sanitary fan outlet that's the cause of ML's sooty dusting. A coating of post digestion vindalised sprout is de-sublimated onto uncoated internals of the trunking resulting in a shower of sparks as soon as the densest flatus cloud gives way to something less oxygen depleted.

I did check to see if the spark arrestor was intact after his last complaint but I couldn't open the fan room door for a deputation of dazed upperdeck canaries demanding a job downbelow while Tweetybird is up forward.

The sparks are not a problem for me, they look quite pretty in the night sky. The smell of sulphur is something which can bring pleasant memories of distant lands (and running for one's life) but the plume of smoke which must surely surpass the Ringelmann scale, now that is something to behold.
But, combined together, it is perhaps only to be seen elsewhere in a highly active volcano, so I dread to think what it is like down below. I trust that the deck plates are set above the lava flow and not level with it.

And what is wrong with Vindaloo? On any day. Just make sure that the Curry Wallah has the full run of the galley and I am sure it will be fine.

Pork Vindaloo on Fridays. It upsets the Catholics, the Muslims, probably the Hindus but not us Church of England worthies. The Queen has a gin & Dubonnet and a small Vindaloo every Friday. God Save The Queen.

Sulphur! It is madness to serve Punjabi eggs as a starter when Brassicas Vindaloo is also a bowl de jour. Madder still to go through that menu. You'll be telling us next that you have it with artichoke pickle on then side.

The Curry Wallah aka Bhandari is a stranger to the artichoke and indeed salsify. And rightly so. Nothing more exotic than brinjals or Ladies Fingers ( भिंडी ).

Fusion cookery? (Perhaps only fission, but we live in hope. Nasi goreng done a la Chinoise (or at least as the Team Ship Chinoises) is made all the more moreish by the thoroughly haram substitution of pork. Perhaps the haramsters have a papal substitute that can fishify all sorts formerly not fish such that they can be had on a Friday instead of fishy fish. Sort of trans fish? The Aga Khan, for instance, does a sort of reverse wedding trick. As haram alcohol passes his lips it turns to halal water.

Eventually.

You never disappoint!

भिंडी ? or to be balanced you should perhaps mention بامیہ

I never advanced much beyond Malim Sahib's Hindustani or Bazar Bat. No use flashing the old barbed wire at me.

Flashing??....Barbed wire?? ...That woman in the thigh length boots sneaked aboard again?

Well she wasn't a woman the last time we were here.

Discovered by eye or fondle?

(Anyway we can't be there already. Isn't it one of those Hibernian navigational imperatives "You can't get there from here". Even using Suez and with both GGs lit off at 5900 we could not be as far as Trincomalee yet).

Well St Brendan managed ok.

Um apologies mates but I would be very obliged if ES would assume the rank of Chief Injuneer and minder to Squeek and Eric.

I will be in drydock for the next week having my stern gland repacked and bottom scraped.

Hope fully I will be back again long before Christmas and we can get the crew party started and to feck with Covid regulations we deserve a good time.

Please see above from Old Sore Arse. I'm the Boss and the key to start the main engine is on a chain around my neck. And call me Chief.

Billyboy, have our Broker work up a cargo for us. A full hold of tinned prunes and two holds of All Bran. I'll put the turbocharger on the sewage plant. Another stern tube problem and questions will be asked in head office. What in the name of all that's holy are they up to on that ship???

So Chef, what's for dinner? (And don't let the bandari have a look-in with those prunes).

I'll see if the boat swine can do something in the way of a stress relieving cushion with those out-of- date life rings for when the Chief gets back.

News bulletin:LOcal Hospital faced a crisis this morning as a bad tempered Marine engineer armed with shifters and flogging hammers threatened surgical staff to get "IT" right or else.

Good luck Tmac. with you in spirit mate.

Quite right BB, a terrible affliction. There but for the grace of Del Monte go I.

( I spent some time working in an Operating room. Not the nicest of Operations to watch!)

Tmacs a tough old sea dog. I know he will bounce back from this.

What strange programmes you choose to watch Sir W. I do "monsters inside of me" rather than outside armed with scalpels.

I think we should be careful when bouncing Tmac upon his return to duty they may not take that shifter off him before discharging him.