Right Lads, gather round for a Tool Talk.
Item 1: The Chief is in his funnel suite, leave him there.
Item 2: There is no need for an Item 2.
Item 3: See Item 1.

OK back to work.

Steward! double off up to the funnel suite. see to it that Tmac gets everything he wants. I want him well fed and his strength back asap. Oh and take a case of Black Bush up to him as well Please.

Sreward!. up to the Funnel suite on the double. make sure Tmac has everything he needs and take a case of Black Bush with you. I want him well fed and fit asap!

Funnel Suite, Funnel Suite, so good they named it twice.

And his two rats living in squalor.

Squalor, you mean the small village between Carrick and Whitehead?

EXCUSE MOI !!!! if I was you I would take special care of my nuts.... Eric is a SQUIRREL and therefore takes great exception to being called a rat. Any subsequent damage to your nether regions, in particular your nut sack is your own responsibility. :shock::shock:

Eric is a sensitive soul not normally given to violence but to be accused of being a rat in a fur coat brings out the RAMBO in him :shock:

This is not covered in the Articles I signed. It is either an Extra Curricular Activity or an Overtime earner. Make your choice but if it is overtime I want time and a half and double time on a Sunday. Bosun bring me a tin of that doorstep polish, Mansion I believe.
And a gallon of Jeyes Fluid, just in case.

A gallon? That's not going to look good on our bar bill. Not after you commandeered every bottle of the vintage Brasso before any of the rest of us got so much as a shot-glassfull.

For the youngsters a gallon is 8 pints, a lunchtime session, or 4 and a half litres. Split between us it will barely show on the bar bill and no one will deny us a Jorum of Jeyes.

Its Friday evening and all's quiet, come on down to the Bar Varl and we'll go on the tear or tare? Bugger it we'll go on the piss. T can join us if he can tear (again) himself away from the dammed Saw Jigs he's so poor at. P&O Tony and the Lancs have the beating of him every time, God help him and JustWin sniggering in the background.
Its all too much, I'll break out the leftover Bristol Cream to add a little "Top Table" to the evening. What say you?

I would have joined you but during quarantines we have Zoomtails at 1800z of a Friday. In lieu of Lunch.

(8 pints at lunchtime. You have a good memory).

Lightweight, ES I am surprised at your lack of liquid capacity:confused: 8 pints to a H&W man is merely a dust remover from the back of the throat before partaking of "yer piece" (luncheon to the uninitiated) For a man from the "oul sod" you can do better than that lad :applause:

You have I fear been led astray by that Varley chappie and his exotic concoctions doubtless an IoM delicacy designed to confuse the unwary :cloud:

Stick to the pints lad, you know it makes sense :pint:

I managed about 7 pints (perhaps more) when over the wall one Saturday. On the way back one schoolmate (now retired Commodore RN) was rolling about in the middle of the road as high as a kit. Me, the model of sobriety.

An hour or so later the situation was reversed with him apparently sober and me caught practicing R/T distress procedure on the GWT with my housemaster looking on. "I'm afraid I am a little drunk, Sir". "It doesn't take much intellectual thought to work that one out matey!"

(I don't think the Chief's description of fine dining at H&W recommends itself for entry in Michelin's Guide although it might make to the AA's).

I have to stand up and defend the Thermos and Piece Box and, at the same time, the flat cap and muffler. But I do get the impression that twenty past five was a "Bowler" man and ate in the Staff Dining Room.
Inglis's sliced loaf made into cheese pieces or egg and scallions or soda and wheaten bread with red jam and two custard creams, you couldn't beat it.
I'm not au-fait with gourmet eating on IOM but I'd be surprised if it riz above scabby kippers. Oh by the way Facebook is now full of retired Commodores denying they ever knew you. An own goal and probably a Red Card.

And HP Sauce on the cheese piece. No expense spared.

Cheese and Jam - Don't knock it till you try it.

Where is the Vegemite?

Stuck in Oz, same as many tennis players.

Vegemite is a bit of an acquired taste, same-same Marmite and it would slop around the Piece Box and ruin the gourmet cold fried egg sandwiches, cut into triangles.

now I will Sulk. Cant get Vegemite here in the Philippines. need someone to visit here from Oz to bring me some.

The tennis players .......
Oh dear, how sad, too bad, never mind.
$ Oz 100,000 for just showing up, 5 star hotel, everything provided. Plus $$$$ thousands more if they win anything beyond the first game.
Just waiting for the government to cave in to their demands.:yawn:

Perhaps I need educating but Philippine tucker was mild curry and pineapple upside down cake. On a par with Aussie scran. Vindaloo need not apply.

It looks as if we might have a hum dinger of a charter there then. Is there anywhere else where we could make a killing with a cargo or two of antipodean pseudo Marmite?

Commodores do Facething?

Some would say Queenies are the Island's piece of resistance, but the gourmet may indeed find a bistro serving arenque ahumado a caballo. Personally I don't 'do' either but, then, neither do I do butties filled with triangular slices of cold fried egg.

Arenque ahumado a caballo is Manx'ese for scabby kippers. You really must educate your palate, be like 20 past 5 and have a different filling in your piece every day.

Commodores are funny things, a one Star in the RN is a totally different animal to a Commodore in, say, Denholms or BP. Generally a wanker and a waste of rations.

Google doesn't help me with 1720. Not sure if relevant as that is not even time for the pre-prandial tincture.

My palate left school with me and, hardly maturing any more surely, has only clasped coffee; caviar; jamon iberico; Grappa and Calvados to its bosom since (and the last two now denied me).

Eglefino ahumado poached in milk remains a breakfast favourite although, whilst Nanny would have allowed pepper (even black pepper had it been in the shops in those days), instead I now use chilli-milk which I doubt she would have countenanced. It should ideally be a commodore fish, the whipper snappers, short of their 10 years at four rings, are too skinny.

Mind you, I have noticed a certain lack of height in the stature of some very senior RN types (is there a NATO equivalent to Screaming Willie's orange box I wonder).

As I recall my schoolmate was not, then, a towering figure but perhaps he still had a year or so's development in hand. He was and remains good at hockey (and, I am sure, much seastuff else), perhaps that is because he is still quite close to the turf?

KGFS Trafalgar Ball's guest of honour a year or so ago was the First Sea Lord. He did not buck that trend (but did manage the lectern without orangeboxed matelot in tow).

Hot fried eggs anybody?
Perhaps you are like the late Princess Margaret and only eat "Buttered Eggs".

An egg banjo! Yummy!
Everyone wants poached eggs nowadays and it's not the same...
I wonder what an egg banjo with eggs Benedict would be like.....