Tmax is all right but X lax gives me the trots.

single up to a breast slipper Cut outs. stand by main engines, Gangway up!
Both thrusters to port. stop thrusters...slow ahead both.
full ahead both. revs for 18 knots please Tmac.

Thats it we are off to Cebu, Mactan has some nice bars.

Cebu, good oh!
A case of beer to the first one to see a Bank Boat aground on a reef or "Uncharted" island.

I can see that for some of the older old hands this trip is nostalgic. For someone who only put a toe in either side of the 'Peaceful Ocean' it is exploration. I wonder if I am sufficiently free of age related incapacity to be exploring?

(I was slated to visit our offices in Manila when nearby in Singapore, therefore the journey partly funded by the client that got me to Singapore. On the 'phone to Manila before setting off I was asked if I could hear anything when the receiver was put to an open window. I could, gunfire. Mrs. V would not have liked her little boy shot at so I didn't go! Would that same unsaintly maternal figure have entirely approved of me being onboard for this adventure I wonder).

safe with me David. have to be careful in some of the Bars though cause some of the beautiful girls are well hung. (not that I would know of course)

Tanoy! we will be sailing for Manila on the evening tide. all departments to be prepared. Stewards! check all the cabins for stowaways.

There's a stowaway in Tmax's cabin. If not a stowaway then definitely an imposter.

It's not that red-headed bird I saw him with on TV the other day is it?

Sarah Fergusson? I doubt it, but there's many's a good tune played on an old piano.

Not a Red head for sure, I prefer blonds as they get dirty quicker :big_tongue:

so many ladies so little time.... :supercool: as long as the collar and cuffs match I'm a happy bunny. :thumb:

And the panties and bra, mismatching smalls is a fox pass in my book.

Head ropes and stern ropes are matching, errrr I mean stowed away.........
Let go the slipper!, bow thruster to Port. stop thruster...slow ahead both.
Turn left at the end of the Island but keep he in the middle for now.
Full away, Revs for 15 knots. Look outs to positions .. watch for periscopes breaking surface near the deeper bits. Military ships of all nationalities around here at the moment. You got a blinking light? go see Mr Varley then Hes trying to light a cigar.

If that is our thruster over to the left shouldn't we pick it up before we do all that 'Avast there !' and 'full away forwards' stuff?

As for the light. Blinking? Can't be me. Lighting a havana more than once ruins the flavour.

Well I'm off to the scratcher, the ship is in good hands. Watches set and bar closed until FWE.
And Varley mooching about trying to look like Fidel Castro and him with a Coon and Bum in his gob.

Attention all cut outs, we will be docking in one hour. Pilot will be aboard by then.
We will be alongside for about three days so will need the shore supply cable ready.

Putting out a pipe like that could cause confusion, be more pacific in your requirements. The crew could stampeed and it would be like Cook railway station at rush hour.

The rush hour stampede at Cook is a sight to behold but there is no way the current crew of the GD could match the numbers.
There were at least 10 or 12 of us at Cook when I was last there when rush hour lasted about 30 minutes at the most. Half the number would would have been in bed, however! :jester:

I didn't know Shakespeare's lovers were so ill thought of. Politically correct bowdlerisation I guess. Who puts out a pipe? Knocking out the dottle might raise a spark or two but wasting a fill? Never.

Since when did we stoop to Doom Goblinesque cold ironing? Unless you're going to pay for the 'lectric save that for filling the port tanks. Including the starboard ones.

Cold Iron is for wimps, men use Shore Power. And the good ones even check the phase rotation (whatever that is).

Phase rotation for first years:

Either roundy go-rounds go roundy round or they go dnuor ydnuor.

We in the Royal Navy put out Pipes. Tradition, but I suppose there was a dearth of that in Management Mercenaries.

Do you hear there; Liberty has been granted to the Off Duty Watches.

Or as our friends in the USN would have it;

Now hear this; Liberty Guys glamourize and fall in abaft the smokestack.

Ah yes, Tradition: you can't beat it.

Deck crew to docking stations! follow the pilots instructions helmsman. Ropes and fenders starboard side.

Glorietta shopping mall has a good cigar stand Mr Varley and there is also a nice wine shop as well.
not far from there is a street full of "entertainment" bars.

Glorietta shopping mall sounds a wee bit naff. Being staunch, Tmax and me are heading to the Glorianna Mall which has a Royal Warrant and is more welcoming to gentlemen of a certain class and a more delicate disposition.

When are we starting to load? A full cargo of tinned pineapples for Pizza Express in Woking should take less than 60 hours to load, enough time for Varley to repair the Crusader transmitter and the Atalanta receiver. A good cigar stand and a nice wine shop just ain't in his vocabulary.

A wine shop? I suppose it is Yellow tail and those of that ilk on this side of the planet.
One can always tell an Australian Chardonnay by the rising tone on the last syllable.
Never mind, just so long as it's cheap....