Sorry Red I cannot be there for the roast lamb.

Good to see you back by the way.

I would be there for the roast lamb but I am presently AWOL (hope that no one wakes up to that) in Lucerne checking out a new form of propulsion called steam and paddle wheels.

I love roast lamb and would bring a bottle or three of red to the festivities. I am sure that your roast lamb will be better than food at the Radisson in Lucerne. There is no way that it could be worse.

:wave:

Yes its nice to see you're back RED, even nicer to see your front....ahem!!...joke joke.
Yes I will gladly sample your roast Lamb and sherry trifle.

As for the Goats...Best check to make non of the cut outs or plastic stewards are Islamic. I have heard they do indescribable things to Goats.

Oh Tmac said would yo call in at the Funnel suite...something about polishing a knob.

You have that wrong Sir W. It is nearly all terrorists that are Islamic (barring those in enemy occupied Hibernia). When it comes to goats (and other of the mutton tribe) they sin no more than any other, especially when compared to the Welsh (we are told).

Must rush I am meeting some Loaghtans in the spa for a warm dip.

In my experience, you can have goats or you can have trees and shrubs, but not both. If you have goats, you have Billies and no sense of smell or no Billies. Mary's garden is quite vegetably in nature, but even that will not survive goating. Maybe "a" goat, maybe kept at the other end of the deck would be nice.
Roast lamb and sherry trifle to follow? You are a person of great kindness and exquisite taste. In my mind, I can already hear that unique sound a serving spoon makes as it prises out a great dollop of trifle. We will have the very best table cloth, the very finest cutlery and no throwing food.

Plaggy stewards, get your orders from Red-17. This will be civilised and decorous to acknowledge the efforts of Red, I will peel the potatoes.

will there be any Sprouts?...Only i understand our Methane tank is getting a bit low.

That's OK. I'm finishing the curry this evening, now a 5 dayer but not only that lots of surplus broad beans. Not sure if my belly bugs make methane or hydrogen but it'll certainly do until we can get a cheap bunker stem. Sprouts would be gilding the lily, well possibly not gilding but altering the colour, certainly.

Roast lamb - my favourite along as we have some of that lovely fresh mint from your garden mixed with fine malt vinegar.


As for goats, best kept on the retractable roof -- please see:


http://www.oldcountrymarket.com/

Happy birthday tmac. ---- lang may yer lum reek ! :pint:

Of his lum starts reeking it only by special request from the bridge. (for smoke screen purposes) Either that or the funnel suite is on fire.....LOL

Even in this hot clime, we can still find a Blue Peter --something like keeping international Code flag P in a refrigerated locker. Hoist on the starboard yardarm. All ship's personal drag yourselves from whichever sleazy tavern, bordello, speakeasy, or similar establishment as we are sailing tomorrow morning at 14:00 hours, right after breakfast. Oh! Alright then -- One for the road. :pint:

Cheers Tom!

You know I been thinking....It is a rather long road....a man could get a real thirst walking all that way back to the Ship. Maybe another one for the road?

Who has allowed any of the company ashore without the regulation hip flask (full)? There is no excuse for returning late due to the need for refreshment stops (rather begs the question of comfort stops 'though).

Blue peter 24 hours before departure? Is that because some fool has introduced some sobriety requirement to those 'doing standby' or do you expect us to only be sufficiently unblind drunk to see it for a few minutes in the drinking day?

I suppose you could be signaling Tmac for repairs on board - we all know he does all of those to do with plumbering of the infernal contraption engine.

[QUOTE=Varley;641Blue peter 24 hours before departure? Is that because some fool has introduced some sobriety requirement to those 'doing standby' or do you expect us to only be sufficiently unblind drunk to see it for a few minutes in the drinking day?
[/QUOTE]

I kind of rely on a meaningful wave of the hand and a careful "carry on" to impart my wishes and make them commands.

I remember as a youth grasping the back of the sofa and muttering something about "long day, ver' tired" and then attempting the North Face of the staircase, maybe upright but not always.

Oh the days of youth, we thought we deceived but we were just tolerated.

here we are then Lads. Strewth look at the angle of the gangway!. Like climbing mount Everest!! Must be a spring tide or something.
Hang on, I must relieve myself into the Dock first. Oops sorry cut outs. should have closed your porthole anyway.

It seems, Sir William, that through your incoholic haze, you are trying to board that light ULCC that's moored just ahead of us? The "porthole" was more likely a ballast water discharge. :brain:

Hic!,,,hew insinuatin I'mmmmmmm under the affluence hof Hincahol;.....Hic!

next morning:
OOh my head. Coffee and paracetamol Steward. and a large bloody Mary for starters. followed by a full English.

I'll join you for the full English, but hold the black puddin' -----Leave room in the mug for a double Four Bells. ---- Please! :pint:

Leaving Phuket after breakfast -- will have to go alone as there is a line of pilots on the quay who flatly refuse to proffer their services -- something to do with us leading one of their number astray when we arrived?? There is also a lilne-up of mothers and fathers with young daughters right behind them breathing fire and breathing slaughter. (Can't imagine why!) :bye:

We will depart in stealth mode. Cut outs!...single up to a slipper. raise the gangway. Fore and aft thrusters to port....aft thruster to starboard.....all stop!. there you are Farmer john. the ocean is straight ahead. take us to sea while I finish my breakfast.

HOI !!!!! who the *@$# moved my VLCC ???? I tied the bloody thing up at the sharp end but some bugger has shifted it........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrr... can leave bugger all lying about round here and especially after I went to all the bother of nicking it in the first place. :confused:

Somebody....ANYBODY..... had better bring me a flagon of Black Bush toot sweet and explain themselves before I emerge from the pit spouting fire and brimstone and also being rather cross. :really_mad::really_mad:

Better put water on deck and maybe alter course to take best advantage of the wind. That brimstone stuff is worse than tube blowings, especially if it gets into the Gripetini.

Full ahead, course steady till we have cleared the bits of the VLCC some fool left tied up at the sharp end.

Tmac, we have plumbed your whole domain with Black Bush at three different temperatures, any more tantrums while we are trying to work out how to get all the bits out of the Thrusters and you will only have the icy cold available after running through the chiller of our collective outrage (I like that bit). We respect you and we like you, but we won't be browbeaten.

I have marked the course for (hopefully) missing Banda Aceh, then we can steer West and aim at India, I think I can hit that.

I would have you know, I trained on a buffalo and a Ukelele.

Never quite understood the assessment practical.

I trained on testicles, craniums, noses and assorted limbs...... which makes me the gentle soul that I am...:hippy:

Injuneers have no favourites... we hate everybody equally :jester:

Full English without the black compilation of mysterious left overs Tom? Perhaps the cooks could rustle up some Scrapple instead? (For non American members, scrapple is mostly left over porky bits combined with various ingredients from the fridge and vegetable locker.) :shock:

Mysterious leftovers? Blood and fat with cereal and herbs, get it down you, it IS lovely.

Any more toast Steward...Oh and the vegemite please.......Have to keep my Vitamin B level topped up.
Carry on with the amusing banter lads! just take care not to push your luck too far with the engineering dept; he can be a rough handful when he's upset...."You wont like him when he's angry"...LOL

Sounds vaguely like "Bubble and Squeak" (No! No! No! Tmac, it's nothing to do with your pet ferret -- just another term for that which ferments in intestines and causes deletirious gasses to exude from the exterior anal orifice.) :brain::brain:

Whatd'yamean, you want a huge dish of seconds???? :huh:

What?...Someone going to chop our 2nd up! Not having it... no way. Injuniers are a priceless commodity aboard here. If they can catch a flying shifter from 20 paces they are good enough for me.
Burrrrrrrrrrp!...

Ferret....FERRET !!!!!!!!! Dear God Tom do you have a death wish.... ferret indeed... I'll have you know Squeek (note correct spelling) is a fully paid up member of the RAT family. :smoking:

It has taken me several hours to placate him and prevent him from running up your trouser leg and exacting revenge for such a monstrous slight :really_mad: :really_mad:

You are a lucky man young sir but for your own safety I would sleep with one eye open for a week or so :jester:

How can Tom's how's-your-father's be both slight and monstrous at the same time? There may well be some occasional swelling occasioned by over excitement but I doubt that he could have a grower that could be described in such language.

If the rat in question had ferreted up Tom's trouser leg to inflict some just revenge for his cruel accusation, then said member might become rather swollen, if not an angry red in hue, to match the owner's disposition after such painful retribution.:jester:

If Squeek runs up my trouser leg and wants to sharpen his teeth on my steel jockstrap that's OK. Just as long as there are no little "droppings" in my Four Bells.

:):)

Chittagong tomorrow. I see there are about 70 vessels anchored offshore with another 20 already in port. Nothing showing up as wating for the breakers at Bhatiari -- I suppose we could send Varley ashore there with his super sensitive ultra sonic metal detector to see if he can find anything of value, like gold teeth, mercury, etc. Most vessels on the beach are in a completely unfloatable condition.

Mind you, we could always anchor off -- need a good anchor watch as the holding conditions are not brilliant -- but a quick run ashore in Sir William's launch, (The one with the Rolls-Royce V32 engine) for a cold beer, or three is feasible ?? :pint:

Doesn't sound worth the candle Tom. Do you mind if I just potter for surplus master clocks (a Magneta a la Titanic would be nice) and possibly a 'windicator' before they appear on Ebay and I have to fork out readies for them (not to mention the bulkhead space I haven't got on which to erect them!)

OK by me Tom, Just be careful with my launch eh! she can make 10 knots on Idle.

Always look on the bright side of life...