I've been called worse....;)

If I'm the 2nd Mate, that means I have to take care of the naviguessing I suppose. As I left my sextant in an overhead locker when they chucked me off a United Airlines flight on my way out here, I'll take a run ashore to see if I can find one in a second hand shop in the old market up town.

My watch is broken too, so I'll try to find a minute hand shop as well.

The crew bar operates on a demand led basis. I can supply stocks of (almost) anything you wish to drink, as Chief Stewart my stores wander off in all direction (often carried under the arms of furtive seamen), we established some time ago there is some connection between the back regions of the Liquor Locker and the greater part of the brewers and vintners of the world.
Pats, how wonderful to see you back, a methuselah of the very best champagne awaits your attention/distribution.

As to authority, not me, I take orders from Tom and suggestions from Sir William. It just happened that I was standing in at the time.

May I suggest we have a celebration when our current mission is complete? We do need to get it done right, but then, new crew, the return of old friends, what's not to celebrate? Good times coming on the G D, new adventures, revised mayhem for all. Let's make shipping history.

If it's any of your business we rabble are just bloody fine thank you!

I am not sure we can take a night to celebrate. We celebrate every night, special occasions are when we go dry for a night (and then lynch the bugger who let us run out).

Ok Dartskipper see if you can get some straight fishing hooks too!

Tannoy: attention all crew. PAX lounge bar now open on my tab till midnight. Coz I have to relieve squeak down below on the 12 till 4.

Someone else's tab could be another reason for running out. Let's see. Cheerio, down the hatch etc.

Cheers Varley...all the best to you good sir.

Yus... one for day use and the other a boudoir for entertaining nubile young and not so young ladies in the evenings. ;)

Thats Tmac, Gentleman when theres ladies around. Fine draughtsman/designer/engineer when he's busy below the plates and a demon lover between the sheets.
Steward!. Bottle of Black Bush for Tmac lease.

Hi Dartskipper, I assume you are the new deckie type person on board so first a few queries/pointers for you

1. Whyfore did your Grannie need to keep her ditties in a bag?
2. Why did she feel the need to give them to you in the first place?
3. All mekan....meckha... meachak.... metal thingies are in first class working order because as Chief Injuneer I make sure all the deckie crowd DON'T TOUCH THEM !!!!...... EVER !!!!!!!!!
4. Controls are operated by push button control.... Green for forwards, blue for sideways and black for backwards... there is also a BIG RED button.... only for use in emergencies... :eek: be afraid, be VERY afraid :cool:

Tmac1720,
Now that you have two funnels, just wondering if there is a vacancy for an enthusiastic fireman to stoke one of the boilers associated with the second funnel?
I would bring my very own shovel..........

Lease ??? you mean it's only on loan :confused: miserable bugger :D

anyhoo you're only nice to me when you want something or you've broken something :)

Demon lover eh?... in other words a horney little devil.... actually there is nothing more satisfying then the smell of burning rubber ;)

as long as you don't require wages you are the very lad for me :D you won't need a shovel as we are nantomic powered just a lead cod piece should suffice. :cool:

As its all new I'd better have a check round....Everything seems to be working fine up here in the driving cab. check monitors....100 RPM both engines, speed 25 knots, Perfect. CCTV...all cameras working, check screens....OOPS!...splendid woman that, nice tattoo as well. Excellent all things working perfectly. Must get back to the PAX lounge before I dehydrate.

Owners inspection over guys. all is perfect. Well done to all concerned. Had a listen at the Engine room skylight...ticking over nicely Tmac. Another Black bush for Tmac please steward.

Oh, :( Varley, are we feeling left out of things? I've never thought of you as rabble, does that mean I have to change my opinion. :confused:

Oh:( Varley, are we feeling left out of things. I have never thought of you as rabble. Other things maybe, but never rabble!

RED, you have the colour red in your script, why can't I get it in mine :confused: You know there is a spell check on this commu...communi... computer thingy Tmac. Don't you dare let your other funnel to anyone else, you always need a second string to your bow.

So good I said it twice. Far too much red tonight, never drive or use a computer when you are over the limit. Nighty night. (imagine sleepy smilie)

Red-17 we love you. sleep well. your personal plastic steward will wake you at 07:00. that will give you time to get ready for your 08:00 deck supervising.....LOL
Coffee with pussers rum in it will be available at breakfast time.

Thanks Tmac1720 happy to join on the basis proposed. I am quite used to working for nothing these days.
I note that GD is both nuclear and sail powered so have packed my lead cod piece as you suggest.
As a precaution, however, I will bring my shovel and one TEU of coal just in case.
I also forgot to mention that along with my shovel I will bring my pricker in addition and the cod piece. I assume that I can stow it in the second funnel for use should the opportunity arise.
:D

If your pricker is already detachable the lead cod piece is probably redundant

Tmac has crayons, he may lend them.

RAINBOW

Hello Red-17. Very nice to meet you. May I have a word with you? If you should take the position of Assistant Gardener to Farmer John, I could use your help. In the past, I've kept a few chickens for fresh eggs. Farmer John loves the other by product. But my chickens slowly disappeared and lots of chicken dishes were showing up on the afternoon/evening buffet. Would it be possible for you to keep a watch on my hens? Speaking of the Breville, who is our galley slave? Did we import the previous "chef"?

Hi Chiefy,

Thanks for the welcome aboard,

1) I think Grannie was a tad dyslexic and got her kit bag mixed up with her ditties, which is why she had troubles packing things away.
2) I sometimes wonder myself how I came to be in possession of the said ditties.
3) You need not worry about any tinkering with your metal noisy thingies by this member of the deckie lot. As long as it does what it's supposed to in the right order, that's fine. I understand you like to keep everything highly polished and shiny, so may I suggest that you don't press too hard when polishing the big red emergency button. :eek:

See you in the bar after sundown.

Dartskipper, if the metal thingies don't work, hit them hard with a very large hammer. Tmac won't mind. He likes to fix things.

Found some straight and blunt fish hooks, so we'll be ok if the food runs out. (Especially if it runs out before the cook kills it....:rolleyes:)

Well I found a little shop selling all sorts of old government surplus stuff. The owner came from one of those eastern places, and I think he had been apprenticed to an old carpet seller in a souk in Marrakesh. He wasn't a tough negotiator, but I don't think he quite understood what I was looking for. I asked him if had a sextant, but he kept trying to sell me six tents. He assured me they were in excellent condition, only ever having been used once. I very slowly and clearly pronounced the word S-E-X-T-A-N-T, and he suddenly smiled.
"Ahh, I understand," he said, giving me a conspiratorial wink. " One of these tents will be perfect for you. A sheik used it for his harem and entertained the concubines every night in it.!"
"No, not s-e-x t-e-n-t, SEXTANT! It's a funny looking thing with twiddly bits and a little telescope."
So he sold me a powerful telescope instead, which he assured me would help me find out my position easily. All I have to do is look back over the stern to see where we have come from, and then look directly ahead to see where we are going. Then I will know we are exactly somewhere on the right course.
I paid for it all with my out of date American Express card, and after he read my signature on the receipt, he kept calling me "Mr. Upyours."
I just need a hand to unload the tents off the roof of the taxi. They may come in handy to set in the rigging as auxiliary power.

Dartskipper, you will be amazed and delighted to know that I have managed to acquire Joshua Slocum's timepiece which he used for Navigation. Not the only thing that the world has benefited from with regard to the Slocum family.

http://joshuaslocum.com/The-One-Doller-Clock

Don't thank me, I can afford it.

Also, Tmac, take a look at the Glider bit. I am sure you have devised similar things (Saves a LOT of money), but as Tom Lehrer said "Plagiarise, but be sure to call it research.

No navigator if you can't do 'Lunar Distances'. Cheaper even than Farmer John's kind purchase (and I don't have to bother with time signals) - it is why Nevil Maskelyne got to save the sailor first. Harrison's solution started out as too expensive.

And what was too expensive then must be too expensive now!

welcome back Pats, I have sorely missed using your chickens for target practise :eek:

Regarding your repair recommendation may I emphea.... empres....empasiz....stress to you young lady, wot makes a injuneer as skilled as wot I am is NOT hitting things with a hammer large or otherwise it is knowing WHERE to hit them wot matters :D

yup, had a look... definitely busted......... I suppose you want me to fix it again :) just leave the usual payment by the injun room air lock :p (one trusts for a job this delicate a magnum sized Black Bush will be provided)

Slocum!...seems to ring a bell that. Did,nt his wife have a large pussey and work in a department store.

Ships Notice board:
Promotions list.
Tom. now official senior master.
Dartskipper. now senior Captain.
Farmer John. official first mate.
Pats. senior Boatswain
Red-17 official ships log keeper (log only to be used as required by OOW) to assist Sister Eleff if and when required.
Varley communications officer. the finer wines and cigars for favors still required.
YM-Mundrabilla. Official 2nd engineer.
CED. remains as Engineering supervisor when she returns from leave
Sister Eleff. sick bay technician first class
Coastie. Anchovy chef, when he gets back
Billyboy. eccentric owner with more money than sense.
Tmac. all things injuniering (I dare not ask more of that man)

Vacancys:
4 AB's
1 sailmaker. (well you never know if we might need a homeward bounder)

I was about to castigate you, (Yes, that IS the correct spelling Tmac) Thought however I should perhaps check the colour tab. Low and behold the faeries, or whomever is responsible, has given us more than just black. Smilies (some) and colour what more could a woman want?

Red

O.K. Will someone please tell this landlubber what TANNOY means?

Looks like we are the only ones awake on the GD this morning Pat.

As an old ashcat I will bring both, just in case.
I realise that GD is both nuclear and sail powered but I will keep the pricker stowed in the second funnel in case we get some clinker in the galley stove. ;)

Coffee, Pussers? If I had that at breakfast time I would have to go straight back to bed. Rum makes me sleepy, then who would the deck be supervised by?

As I seem to be missing out on all the fun, due to the fact that I live in the Antipodes, I intend to stay up tonight and get in on the action early. You lot seem to be getting away with far too much frivolity and I want to be part of the action. :mad:

They're a lazy lot. Champers for brekkie?

:):) Bit early in the morning for me, thanks anyway. You enjoy.