Tea? Did someone say tea?

This is what this ship needs...

Thank you for supporting the RNLI Malcolm. I have been a Life Governor for many years now.

Point of Order Mr Life Governor, two in fact:- Taylors, as mentioned in my post, is Taylors of Harrogate the blenders of the most excellent Yorkshire tea. 170 Driver has been sent to a catering remedial class and until qualified in the Hot Beverage module will be known as 85Driver.
Further to Malcolm X 's hint I am supplementing the BOT Lifeboat Rations with 12 Denby mugs, a tea pot and a strainer. Note lifeboat life is miserable enough with out having to use tea bags.

as long as we get a pick axe to break up our biscuits. Have to be careful as my teeth belong to the NHS

I know of Taylor's in a different capacity - a magnum if one is lucky.

(Don't be a strainer. Take syrup of figs).

Or open your tax bill, better yet argue with a Chief Injuneer about the air con in your cabin :cloud:

I saw a badge on a scuba divers suit once that said "Prune juice ruins decompression" tickled
me that did ... well you imagine!...ha ha

Cut just informed me theres land ahead. I better nip up and take a look...
Oh yes so there is. Something's gone wrong then. Wonder where we are? is there a bar there? do they speak English?
Better slow her down a bit. Looking at the shape of the land on the Radar theres a large bay, wide entry to a waterway/River. wheres my old school atlas. Hmmm. looks like we are heading into Cork!

Cork? Did someone say cork?
Hang on, I’ve got my trusty waiter’s friend right here..

Use your teeth like everyone else, Waiters Friend indeed. Unless you've recently been to Bulgaria for cheap dental implants but don't worry there going to fall out in 6 month's anyway. They always do.

Ah Billy me oul china I know these waters from my time as a Yachtmaster so I'll pilot you in. Keep Roches Point Light to Stbd and when abeam pull her back to 8 knots. Give Whitegate Jetty a wide berth especially if there's a 60000 tonner tied up, HM easily offended. Make for Cobh (Queenstown in oul money) keeping the Spit Bank Light to Port. As you run up Cobh Roads make a berthing decision, Cobh Deep Water Quay, Ringaskiddy (Beside the Viagra factory) or Cork City, the haven of all our desires. Between you and me Tmax and Var would benefit greatly from taking the airs around the Pfizer Pharma jetty, say no more.

Ringaskiddy (Beside the Viagra factory.
I'll type that into the ECDIS machine and see what happens. Might need you up top to aim the old girl.

Hmmm. thinking about it we could load a consignment of those blue pils.

Todays Daily Mail gives us the great news that Lord V is in good company and will probably wear out more knees.

Dame Mary Berry reveals how doctors warned her she would be dead in four years if she didn't start exercising... and credits playing CROQUET with saving her life.

Lets all buy a croquet bat and rush to the nearest C Club. Jolly Croquet Bats.

She hasn't been playing here, then. Only some of the commonest injuries are not life threatening.

(I did invite you, you could have come and broken something for free).

Lets drift with the tide down to Cobh. Fine girl you are.

Drift? Dropped a bollock down there have we?

Whats that? someone say we need to get sails up. Not done that for a while.

Just a touch of laziness.
And some good news, the blue pills has stopped Tmax peeing on his shoes.

It might even stop him rolling out of his bunk as well.

If Red 14 was here she would cure Tmax big problem.

Woops, sorry, a typo; Delete "Big" and insert "Biggish".

Listen you scurvy lot I have never received complaints as regards my conjugal activities, they wouldn't dare and I'd also demand my money back. One "lady" even remarked how much she liked the smell of burning rubber :big_tongue:

Ummmm are we going to be stuck here for a while? finished with injuns and the oily bits? if that's the case I might take a wee trip down memory lane and return to Killarney, there is a certain lady in Muckross who could do with a reminder of happier days :flowers:

Oh aye just a polite reminder...the funnel suite is locked, bolted and the Black Bush tap has been disconnected .......... you have been warned :yawn:

The smell of burning rubber? You old dunderhead the handbrake was still on.

Eh? Rubber brake linings! ...whatever will they think of next

They work well enough on my bike - both worked by hand, does that qualify as a hand brake?