I know a guy who crossed a sheep with a kangaroo... he got a woolly jumper.... I'll just get my coat and retreat under the floor plates :balloon:

All the little sacks of Rutile have been handballed on board and stowed in every orifice and interstice tht it can be fitted into, we have a very neat stow, the trim is right (woe betide anyone who pee'd in the bucket of "fresh water" used to calculate the specific gravity of the stuff what we are in compared with what we have to go and float on.)

Richard's Bay has been good to us, and I hope we have been good to Richard's bay, the reaping of any crop we may have sown (life or health can be passed on). We seem to have had very little in the way of shenanigans reported on here, are you lot just getting more secrective or less active?

Single up all moorings, Tmac, press the start button or whatever you chaps do (I do hope it is not a kick-starter, though if it is the phrase "probably the best kickstarter" comes to mind, not the kind of thing you got where the bonnet was raised and the boot was applied inside the engine bay, was that the Reliant?)

Raise the gangway (ensure no-one is standing on it) let slip the moorings and we will reverse out, do a three point turn, and off we go. Give the pilot a bottle of the rubbing alcohol that is labelled "Botanical flavoured Gin" and send him home with a whistle in his step and a gleam in his trousers, or perhaps the other way round.

I have to go, the Shipping Forecast has just started and I want to sing along. They just said "Plymouth, very poor", they really are on top of things.

We are off to Cincinecticut, I think, I miss Tom to chat to. Hope you are well.

All hands to the paddles, we are slow running until the rest of the crew are exhausted (perhaps they already are).

Hear the gentle purr of our finely tuned Engines as we cruise t a leisurely 15 knots. that low whine of the turbo's is music to my ears. Feel the deck as she rises to meet the swell, and the surge as she glides into the trough.

Life is good eh! ....Full English please Steward!

Thank you Farmer John. Well enough. Had a good approx 1800 mile road trip with only moderate glitches. Poor wife however is suffering from bone on bone in right hip - in absolute agony most of the time and for the last week or so since we have been back it's been another round of medical appointments of one kind or another.

Me - I've just got degenerative disc disease with accompoanying sciatica - can be a real pain in the rrrs, literally. Can still function with OTC meds.

I see you gentlemen and Tmac have been doing well during my stay away, and seeing as I am somewhat knackered, with Sir William's permission, I would prefer to let you all do the day to day business of the ship, while I simply sample the chartroom rum supply occasionally (just for quality control purposes, of course) and perform the odd vessel inspection to ensure all is running to perfection. My first proposed job is to get the cutouts to move an air mattress from place to placearound the decks so I can lay down and inspect the winch beds for rust, and or leakage.

To celebrate my return, I would, however, like to invite all to the pax lounge for a few rounds on my tab - catch up on the latest.:pint:

Tom, you will be transported around the ship on a luxurious cloud, like the first 3 drinks of booze combined with the Mekon's little green platform.

Bad hips are a torture, our next door neighbour was offered a replacement in the airy future broke hers when she capsized her electric wheelchair while racing for pink slips in the supermarket, the replacement is coming good now.

A quick 4 Bells in the chart room from time to time and some quiet advice when things look like going a bit wrong would be very welcome, I am sure Sir William would be reassured to know that we won't be going up the pyramid again.

A few rounds in the Pax lounge? I don't mind if I do. Plaggy stewards, set out some heavyweight horses doofers and break out the Champagne for all who apply in person, no more than 2 bottles per glass. The idea that a champagne glass should be the model for the perfect ladies breast has rather gone the way of the dodo, seems more like a bucket to water a horse is our preferred measure.

Did we tell you about the near loss of the Owner's barge? Damn, that horse can swim. Also, we had a little trouble with anchors not holding too well. Tied one of the Panama mules on and sent it over the side, never moved after that.

Keep an eye on us Tom, that is all I need.

welcome back Tom. Glad to have you with us again.
Stewards! seeto it that Tom has all he needs and dont let him be disturbed while he is resting.

Thank you gentlemen for your concerns for my welfare. I must admit that achieving the somnolent position for my duties is a great relief for my back. The recumbent nature of my winch inspection duties has also produced some side benefits/awareness. It appears we may have some stowaways aboard in the form of young ladies with short skirts who are devoid of underwear. We have one red head, two blondes, a brunette, and one bald???? Or is that just wishful thinking? :ponytail:

For heavens sake, Tom, hush, there isn't a single person left standing, those not misbehaving are hiding. Not the conduct of a gentleman.

Hovercraft mats are now available from the Injun Room ready use spares locker.... usual charges apply...:wink:

Oh no!!! he's found my red headed pass time piece,
Hover mats eh?...sounds interesting that Tmac!...endless possibility's with one of those.

I did hear tell that a bus driver in Vanvouver pulled up downtown on Granville Street, outside the Hudson Bay Co. store and when he opened the door, standing there, ready to board, was a Sikh gentleman holding a carpet which he had just purchased. The bus driver said "What's the matter, mate --- Won't it start?"

I also heard that the said bus driver, upon a complaint being lodged, was given a two day suspension without pay.

I further heard that his fellow drivers all chipped in a bit to cover his lost wages. :egg:

A bus with a chippie. I've never sailed with a lady wood butcher.

During my winch inspection, I noted that perched in the channel iron bed of #4 after port cargo winch were 2 cartons of Lucky Strike. Obviously someone put them there to evade customs inspection somewhere, and then forgot about them. Jog any memories?? :egg:

There was a single decker bus that had been converted into a mobile chippy.

It does indeed jog memories, I remember smoking a cigarette about 40 years ago. Hoy them over the side, Tom, they are not good for anyone. What about some bracing exercise in the fresh sea air?

Cough, cough, cough, that is plenty, made it up to the Monkey Island. What about exercising our elbows with some 4 Bells, Tom, Dartskipper and all others wanting to join us.

Funny -- co-incidental -- I quit 40 years ago and bought a boat with the savings.

Very happy to join everyone for some 4 Bells. I am sure there will be other incaholics in our crew that will be there PDQ. :pint:

You will have observed that I approached at a leisurely pace and came armed with a couple of bottles of Four Bells to boot......Let the party begin Gentlemen.

I concur. I bring Gripewater not gripe.

I'm on my way up chaps. Just bringing a few bottles of Canada Dry I found at the back of a locker in my cabin.

I did try drinking Canada Dry once when I was in Victoria, (I was only following the instructions on the advert outside the bar,) but I fell off my bar stool after emptying the first bottle of Scotch.. I blamed the resultant head ache on the foot rail around the bar. (Hic...!) Anyway, if the barman had been a little more proficient at installing a new bottle in the optic, I might not have fallen asleep in the first place. :pint:

Nobody has managed to drink Canada dry yet -- ( I also have been trying since I arrived here permanently in 1960) I must say though, with all due respect, the quality of the potent potables produced here has improved immensely over the past decade. (Is that where we get our word "decadence" from?)

With all due deference to Dart Skipper, though, I will continue to take my 4 Bells on the rocks. (Absolutely convinced that it is the mix which gives the headache.) :egg:

I do know what you mean Tom, I had to tell the magistrate once that it wasn't the 25 pints, it was a dodgy meat pie was my downfall.

Could you rephrase your description a little? The propinquity of the word "drinking" and the phrase "on the rocks" bring back memories of what I call "my bit of bother", though of course I had a different name then, before the surgery, and indeed a diferent sex (and more of it).

Lorelei is just a memory now, though I kept the money.

These recollections come flooding back, when the moon is high and the nights are warm. Even the word "flooding" seems wrong.

Anyone else have thoughts they wish to share over a drink or eight?

Hello Chaps, remember me? I fell overboard several months back and doggy paddled around for ages waiting for it to be noticed that I was missing and therefore rescued! Normally at this point one would say that tragically I wasn't, however, (said with much emphasis) I was, eventually, hauled from the water much the worse for wear. The kind gentleman that spotted me kept me safe and dry on his wonderful yacht and we sailed around the Aegean having a wonderful time. Unfortunately he has had to go home, some sort of family problem, or was it problem family?

As a consequence I have returned and am ready to take up any allotted tasks that you may have for me. I do note however on doing a count of all the animals on board, the four legged ones that is, that one of the Panama mules is missing? Can someone please explain?

Oh, Farmer John, 'a drink or eight', no, hmmm??, perhaps I will leave that for another time.

welcome back Red17. glad to have you aboard with us.

Was that you that I hauled out of the water onto my yacht in the Aegean? Sorry that I did not recognise you in your bedraggled state but glad to have rescued you and that you have been able to return to the Golden Dreamer. It wasn't a family problem or a problem family with the yacht just that the police were getting a bit close.
I, too, have been AWOL from the Golden Dreamer for some time. I have been junketing in Europe to get away from the Winter here in Oz.
Welcome back.

Oh! Red - How could we possibly forget you?? We knew you were taking some time off -- (Across the Tas, was it?) -- and had every faith in you returning at your pleasure, or leisure.

It will be nice to have the company of a lady to help keep the rest of us hairy chested, unshaven, (some of us, anyway!) unkempt sailors behave in a more refined manner. We have been short of the presence of female crew for quite some time -- would also love to hear from Pats, the CED, sister Eleff and Mary, and not necessarily in that order --- even all at once would be great!! :wave::wave:

Winter in Oz?? Try here in Canada -- Northern Manitoba in February -- sometimes -57 F -- enough to freeze the acid in the car battery - even with the block heater plugged in. Then there's the square wheels where the car has sat overnight and the flat spots on the tires take awhile to get pliable again. Then again, before the heater/defroster has warmed up and you have a couple of people in the car, you need to scrape the frost off the inside of the windshield as well as the outside. :very_sad:

Welcome back, however -- I'm sure we can find something for you to do other than nothing! What do you fancy. (Red's livestock is off limits by the way.) :curtain_call:

Funny thing that, an opportunity opened up for it to help safety and stability in a part of Africa not many of us get to see. Settled in well, made quite a splash locally. Don't worry about that though, it is very good to see you back, I wondered if our uncultured ways had sent you to seek company elsewhere.

I am very sorry to report that Pedro (the mule with the white blaze and pretty hindquarters) broke a leg after sipping from Sir William's tankard and falling through an open hatch.

So I had to shoot him.

I also beg to report he was delicious served with a nice green salad, some fave beans and a nice Chianti :pint: sadly I managed to break a tooth on the bullet Varley, rather inconsiderately left in the carcass :bad_mad:

Squeek however also enjoyed or should that be feasted on the entrails although the hooves did prove rather unpalatable. :very_sad:

Oh yes, another thing... welcome back Red, the tank top could do with a good sweeping and the brass valve gauges could do with a bit of burnishing, there's a good girl (retires to bomb proof locker and awaits explosion:jester:)

Oh, c'mon, Varley, Tmac, not another one? It was Muffin that I used for an increased anchor point. We know they can't breed so we have to be careful with the remaining ones.

Tmac, they are more likely to gravitate to your domain, are they like the Rollright stones that can never be counted, or are they difficult to count due to the custom of drinking one pint for the first one, two for the second one....

Any of that left for a sandwich, Tmac?

Actually I thought "Muffin the Mule" was a sexual offence until I discovered Black Bush.

Sorry David but there are some horses douvers left if you fancy a snack...:eat_arrow:

I remember on the 70,s I tried counting them deveral times and got a gifferent number every time...strange that! I couldnt see long Comptom hrom there either ... so, I guess I will never be King of England
Either. Another Bottle Gentleman?

PLEASE :pint:

Or two? How many of us in the bar?

One, Varley, one. Two bottles apiece is a bottle too far, we can always come back for another. Don't want to seem hoggish. We are gentlemen who take the odd (?) libation to ease our minds and make our conversation more sparkling, not so we can roll in the scuppers and gutters. We'll leave that for a night ashore.

Pennsylvanian winters could be fairly robust, but not as brutal as yours Tom. I found that if I had been involved in a late night drinking session with the lads, I could de-ice the inside of my truck windows just by breathing on them. It was always a bit of a hassle to find that the heater controls had frozen solid over night, too. One of my mates used to put lighted candles across the bottom of the windscreen, sticking the melted bases onto the top of the dash board. His truck looked like a mobile birthday cake.

Night run ashore?.....Count me in on that!
Heh heh I'll get my Wrangler gear on, dont want to ruin a good suit or uniform.

Having been on shore leave until recently, and until told that we are heading somewhere other than Groton, Connecticut, if we are taking the "short" route, we must have just passed through the Egyptian ditch and our night ashore is going to be in Port Said?? That having been said, Sir William, Wrangler gear is the best rig for the job. Probably be offered some "feelthy pictures -- velly cheap -- for you almost free!" Must look out my lead belaying pin. :cupid: