Many have tried.....ALL have failed :shock:

Jump to it Plasticos!! Hot soup with croutons up to the Funnel suite on the double. Take a bottle of black bush, a jar of honey and three lemons and a thermos of hot water.
After that make sure he is not disturbed till tomorrow. He needs rest.

Sir William, you are doing a good job, have a break. Squeak can give you a break and I have some good cheese for him. Bit of the good old Mouse t**p. Just don't say that to him.

Tmac, Chicken soup will be hot and not soothe the brow. Bathe your feet in it if you want, that might help. Glad you are improving.

Maybe a shot of hot Gripetini in it would help in recovery....what do you think Varley?

Your wisdom overwhelms, Famer John; cold soup would be much better for the fevered brow --- a classic Vichyssoise would do the trick with maybe a touch of Gripetini to liven it up a bit. Couple of bowls of that and he'll be demanding the GD's classic anchovies on toast. :bounce:

Well, we are all squared away and ready to let go the boomer. Perhaps the bridge could prepare to depart. Three bottles of Four Bells with two buckets of ice should handle the preparations.

I will join you promptly to make sure all the normal protocols are in place. (Clean glasses with beer mats so the condensation doesn't get the charts wet, or leave little grey rings on the brightwork. ) :pint:

Tom, I now feel boorish and ungrateful. You are quite right, and if all else fails, Varley may assist us with some electronic insight, and that leaves us a little down, Tmac's shifter could apply for a refund. This, I believe, is called "making a coup".

Preparations are all in hand for departing the unloading point, if you care the check them out.

come on squeak lets.... get these mighty beasts purring, switch to full bridge control...the stick pushers up top can take her out without us. Come on up top and have a cheese break. If you behaver yourself I will let you go visit Tmac in his Funnel suite.

Come on up toe the bridge, Sir William. As Farmer John noted the preparations, Folur Bells, Ice, and clean glasses are well in hand. We've set aside a "double preparation" for you as well. :pint::pint:

most splendid Tom...thank you very much. I cant stay for long as I need to get to the control room to monitor the temperatures of them bob up and down bits.
Cheers gentlemen.

Ah, Sir William, you mean the ladies chorus from our pantomime, I had hoped to keep them concealed till Christmas and surprise you, but you have found them and are exercising their Terpsichorean skills. Quite right not to let them get overheated.

I never tire of watching them bob up and down bits (did I spell that right?)

Did you perhaps mean lots rather than bits?

Reminds me of an Injuneers daughter I chanced to know

The injuneers daughter she was there
she had the ER crew in fits
jumping off the crankcase
and bouncing on her t*** :big_tongue:

must just crawl down to the injun room to see how my bonnie wee babbies are doing ...... Ach sure I know Squeek and Sir Billy are doing a great job but wee Eric looks a tad confused.... he usually spends his time rolling his nuts across the tank top but just recently he seems to have lost interest. Maybe the lad needs a tonic or perhaps just a reviving boot up the tail. :rolleyes:

Tmac, your Bonnie wee babbies are scattered through the ports, foundries and shipyards through the world. Don't pretend they aren't.

yes I have noticed Eric is a quiet lad....needs some encouraging to get things done. But Jacko is ther opposite. found he performs better in the cage. he cleans and rehangs the spanners.
The baboes of yours are puring like kittens Tmac. No rush mate, get yourself well clear of the lurgy before starting any work. the crayons can wait a few days.

Reminds me:

Q: What's the difference between a sewing machine and a woman running for the bus?
A: The sewing machine has only got one bobbin! :bounce::bounce:

right squeak and Eric lets check the maintainence schedule book.
Hmmmm ok. fire up the starboard donkey boiler and shut down the port one. Time to service the port one.b While we wait for it to cool we will give the control room a clean. Eric, you clean those shifters. squeak, you clean the corners behind the console.

Now you know one only plays in control room console and cabinets full of gubbins when on standby. One never gets the chance to worry the Chief so thoroughly at other times.

(Chiefs get their revenge by wearing one of those little clip-on terminal screwdrivers).

Fear thee not Varley. Far be it for me to tinker within the confines of the cosole (far too technical for me) Mearly cleaning the control room. Mind you I accept no resposibility if Squeak or Eric get in there and start chewing on them wirey thingies.

Halfway to Nassau party in the PAX lounge --- come as you are -- First eight rounds on me. :pint'

OK I am here, excuse the boiler suit but you did say come as you are.
Ah here comes Varley....Nice boxer shorts Varley...almost to take a shower were you heh heh.
Oh my word. 2 naked plastico's...now thats nasty ha ha

well this is nice and Jolly but I really must go back below. O know we are automated down there but, Human eyes are still needed to monitor things correctly and make notes of changes. This is called preventative maintainence. Now you know why Tmac spends so little time at the Bar.
Steward! lump of cheese and a handfull of nuts please, salery (bribery) time for the animated injuneers down below.

Only the first eight rounds??? Sheeesh.. :big_tongue:

Although being of Scottish heritage, (and having it on good authority that the limbo was invented by a Scotsman trying to get into a pay toilet) be it far from me to be cheap, or even not appreciative of your return to the ship, so by all means, order doubles, or even trippples of your favourite bevvy. :pint::pint:

Well, they do tend to split when using the brass-bound-bum-stretcher. Always best to carry a spare.

slightly non compos mentos. Wifes Birthday yesterday. Catch up later when the Cat stops stampong his feet on the lawn.

tannoy:Rig for silent running in honour of Sir William's "morning after the night before". :eat_arrow:

Sssshhhh everybody, no unnecessary noise until Sir William, (and TMac) are up and about again..


SQUEEEK, don't you dare drop that shifter!!!!!

Oh, look, isn't that the sloop "John B" just gliding past with a crew of thousands of musicians? We must be getting close to Nassau.

We will be holding a regular medical parade from know onward, anyone unfit for duties will be given a hair of the dog that bit them and left to sleep it off.

Just be careful what bites you.

No worries mate, I never could play snooker with a piece of Rope......BurrrrrrrrrrrrrrP!!

I think it is!! But us up 'ere on the graveyard watch can work all night on a drink o' rum :pint:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L9angh4KdQ

and us down here in the pit perform miracles by the hour on Cheese and Black bush.

Squeak, nip up to the funnel suite and see how Tmacs doing mate. Dont stay too long as I need you to keep an eye on the control room while I nip around and record temperatures in the log book.

A short arm inspection? Before we get in? who, exactly, is doing what to whom, when and with what? (And who is sober enough anyway?)

Good evening Ladies and Germs... it is I your jolly injuneer risen from the dead to put the fear of God into you heathen lot. While I struggled manfully with the dreaded lurgy I was intrigued, mystified and latterly concerned but the copious amount of revelry emanating from the bridge and radio room area coupled with a disconcerting view of Varley swinging from the radio wires shouting "hows that for a flashover?".... Squeek is looking rather bloated considering the amount of cheese he has been fed by Sir William who should have known better than to encourage the wee bugger however have no fear normal service has been resumed in the injun room and shifters of various sizes polished for insertion into orifices where found necessary to maintain the status quo..... ME boss... you minion...:rolleyes:

In conclusion to those minions who found difficulty operating the various systems during my absence I suggest in the event of a further period of incapacity RTFM:yawn:

Regrettably I am unaware of the length of my appendages however it has been remarked on several occasions regarding the dimensions of my posterior as in " hello short arse" :balloon: