Both correct ES - it depends whether they are stood face to face of back to back.
Nowadays PNP apparently means party and play and refers to ‘recreational’ drugs…

Btw Bob - in the case of my local resident wood pigeons, other products tend to stick :mad:

My drugs of choice are Adalat for blood pressure, Bumetanide for water retention and Solpadine as my morning after pill. I defy you to pick a better trio.

My pal’s wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of
whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?

You never know who is listening ... (it isn't just the boys and girls in the Donut.)

When my mate woke up this morning, his wife had him in a head lock.

He said “I think she had a wrestler’s night.”

A lorry loaded with ladders has just crashed on the M62, the police are taking steps to clear the road!

I need to bring some quality to these jokes ....:bounce:

Dont trouble yourself.....as they would say in ull

Indeed, Rusty. There is the old rag trade adage.

"Never mind the quality, feel the wit"

Ihave now changed your name to lord laxi...tiv. hope this moves you up a bit more in the world, maybe king laxi...tiv

Laxative? You want more bullshit?

Keep it coming Varly.....Do you know what the 1964 I.O.M. ferry was called, the one leaving Liverpool, i think it went from the Liver buildings, rgds rustytrawler

In 1964 the IoMSP fleet was 6 or 7, serving the then Summer bread and butter tourist trade - all steamers then. Wiki gives a good run down. They did not only run to Liverpool and there were also excursions (while at Colwyn Bay I could use the Llandudno excursion to nip home for half a day).

The end of exchange control marked the end of that money in any real sense of the word which is easily seen in that the native needs are satisfied with the Ben My Chree (all year, Heysham) and in Summer the fastcraft, Manannin. A new Manxman will be delivered in the new year from Hyundai.

For some strange reason we are having to build a terminal for the IOMSPC to replace the floating dock which the side-loaders used to use. We then, presumably, pay again to use it.

Thank you i will have a look on wiki......What was that Kelly from the I.O.M all about?

Out in Dublin city centre on Friday evening with the Memsahib for a bite of grub and a few drinks. Met a couple from the IOM, Union Mills, over for the weekend (me neither) and they were great craic and they have given me faith that IOM is not beyond saving, indeed it is not now compulsory to marry your cousin. Needless to say I learned more in one hour of Guinness and Jameson than I have from 10 years of Lord V's random jottings.
I am considering buying a Ducati.

Now that you are fully up to speed on Island life and politics you can answer Rusty's question.

(Don't offer your opinion until you have been off that black muck and the varnish remover for at least 4 hours).

Guinness I can take or leave but Jameson is a fine drink.

I sailed with Neil Jameson. His Dad was Tech Super for Westminster Dredgers in the Mersey. Rumour has it (my lips are sealed) that pure Jameson ran in his bloodstream! Nuff said. I shall now recede to the shadows.............! Those were the days,"Penang, '82.............".

Discretion is obviously your middle name, sound fellow Makko.

I told this kid in my street to ask his Dad if he wanted my old sofa and chairs.

He told me he wasn't allowed to accept suites from strangers

Had a bad day today. I paid a carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and found out he's done a bunk !!! It's just one thing on top of another. :D

My pal’s neighbours, Tom and Lisa Hall, came round for a pre-Christmas drink. They’re always quite argumentative especially after a lot to drink.

As expected, a fight broke out and to defend himself, my pal grabbed some festive greenery and decked the Halls with boughs of holly.

My Aldi cheap Christmas cards have better jokes than the last dozen here. And it pains me to say so.

Just curious…….. If ex TV Celeb, Isla St Clair had married Barry White, presumably she’d be Isla White?

And if, when Barry White died, she remarried the lead singer of Roxy Music, would she be Isla White-Ferry?

You'll just have to learn to accept lower standards now that you're ashore.

My mate, who’s a footballer, went on an exclusive Sailing holiday round the Caribbean. On his first night at sea he tripped over & damaged his leg.

The Doctor performed a scan & told him the worst news……..he has a Cruise Ship ligament injury.....

Your anatomy needs a polish - they've nothing to do with the humerus!

It's a wonder you didn't blame the gluteus maximus instead of triceps.

Apparently one of the sayings of the French Navy translates into English as "To the water, it is time"

In French it's…….."A l'eau, c'est l'heure"

My mate is delighted that his wife is so naïve.

He’s told her that the reason it's called Boxing Day is that men don't have to come home from the pub until they’ve had twelve rounds…….

"Time and tide waiteth for no man........"

Thanks for that.... it takes me back....my dad was always saying time and tide waits for no man,rgds.

A rising tide lifts all boats.

Try saying it in a sexy French accent ......

And "a falling tide reveals who was swimming naked."

Something I heard during the Bernie Madoff scandal.

Monday - Greg

Tuesday - Ian

Wednesday -Greg

Thursday - Ian

Friday - Greg

Saturday - Ian

Sunday - Greg

The Gregorian Calendar

A burglar was stopped late one night outside the British Museum in London by a policeman. (This was in the days when they actually arrested burglars!) The burglar was carrying some ancient artifacts from the Egyptian display room. The policeman recognised one of them as the Rosetta Stone, and the other as a clay relic with heiroglyphics on it.

"What are you doing with those?" he asked the burglar.
"I've got a headache," the burglar replied.
"What's that got to do with it?"
"I called my doctor earlier about my headache and he told me to take two tablets and call him again in the morning!"

My mate had his luggage stolen on the way back from holiday. When it was found the thieves had left just the handle and wheels.

He took them to the Police but they said they wouldn’t be pursuing it as he didn’t have much of a case

Silly but seasonal…

I came across this ‘chart’ which the crew of Golden Dreamer might find useful when navigating in home waters…

It'll do until V fixes the Decca Navigator.